So I had the followup with the orthopedist today, after December's MRI was interpreted as a nonunion. In the ten days since I got the result, I'd calmed down quite a bit, and was actually going to cancel the appointment. But I figured I could at least get the reassurance that there was nothing wrong with my fibula. And that's what I got - sort of. The whole visit was a LONG, awful, anxiety-provoking ordeal. I waited an hour and a half to been shown back to the exam room, where I waited another 45 minutes for the ortho, all the while fending off techs who said they never got my recent x-rays (from another hospital they don't like to communicate with) and needed to do some more. I kept declining. I was actually trying to stay calm by working on my SEP. Finally, I couldn't take any more and started to write a note for the doc, which is of course when he showed up. I needed to hear a positive assertion that the bone was fine - and he had a heck of a time delivering that. I kept asking and asking, and he kept wanting to talk about the age-related stuff that MIGHT be contributing to my pain. Finally he said, "You do NOT have a nonunion of the right fibula!" Then he said it was hard for him to contradict another doctor's opinion, because it went against his training. He said my ankle was right where it should be. So why am I still incredibly tense and anxious? Because I carried away all the doubts created by this detailed look inside my 50-year-old foot (okay, a few more years than that, lol). The ortho really, really wanted to find a structural reason for my pain. Arthritis? Neuroma? Inflammation? I should have put my hands over my ears except for the part where he said the bone was fine. And the other part is doubt that my ankle really is fine. What if the doubt manifests itself into pain right there at the fib? I don't know that I was wrong to get the MRI or to go to the followup. I just feel like the momentum I was carrying forward has come to screeching halt. Also, I'm supposed to go over the MRI results with my PT Wednesday. I don't think I want to have that conversation. I could really use some perspective on this.