Moving pain (low and upper back pain)

[Alea89]

Hi everyone,

I just joined the forum and would like to share my story/problems.
I'm 29 years old and have pain switching from lower back pain and sciatica to neck pain constantly for a year (was diagnosed with several bulging discs in the low back and neck).
In November 2017 I had very bad sciatica pain (couldn't sit, couldn't walk). After reading about TMS (Healing back pain, The Great Pain Deception etc), some manual therapy, journaling and quitting PT the leg pain is almost gone. I can now walk again, run a little and sit for longer periods of time.
I'm really trying to understand the pain is psychological, constantly reading about TMS, doing the 1 month tms program with journaling, meditating, increasing physical activity etc.
For a few weeks the pain levels in my body were very low so I started working on my computer again. But now after doing some computer work the pain transferred to my upper back and neck again and doesn't go away. The neck, shoulders and chest area are tense, making cracking noises all the time. I also can't sleep at night, sometimes I wake up gasping for air (I think it's some kind of sleep panic attack).
Currently I'm not working because of my back problems and the anxiety and fear about my career and future are strong, since my job is all computer work. It seems like when the anxiety and fear increase, the pain also gets stronger.
Before the pain started in February 2017 I had been visiting psychotherapist for a year because of my anxiety, but it didn't seem to help lower the anxiety and stress levels much. I also tried yoga and meditation but I find it very difficult to slow my mind and stop worrying about my health and future problems.
I live in Europe and I don't have any TMS doctors in my country, don't really know what to do next. I guess I need some encouragement in TMS diagnosis. Did anyone else suffer from constant switching pain in your low and upper back?

Thanks

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Hello, Alea, and welcome to the forum.

the leg pain is almost gone. I can now walk again, run a little and sit for longer periods of time.

There's your success, right there - that's your evidence that the TMS diagnosis is valid, AND that you can do the work to find relief. Congratulate yourself for that - that's a HUGE accomplishment!

Currently I'm not working because of my back problems and the anxiety and fear about my career and future are strong, since my job is all computer work. It seems like when the anxiety and fear increase, the pain also gets stronger.

And there's the stumbling block, for so many people. You're absolutely right about the connection. Your perception of how it's happening is not quite in the right order, however:

1. Your subconscious primitive and fearful brain needs to repress some kind of negative emotion (or emotions)
therefore,
2. Your brain creates anxiety and pain IN ORDER to distract you from feeling the negative emotions.

I would suggest that you take a good honest look at what you're really feeling about your work, or about going back to work, or about not going back to work. It's likely that you had these thoughts when you started using your computer again - and it's also likely that some of those thoughts were so "dangerous" that your fearful brain didn't think you should feel them - so it used TMS to repress them and distract you.

Just a thought.

Have you come across Claire Weekes yet? She has saved SO many of us from the evils of anxiety. Her most famous and well-loved book is Hope & Help For Your Nerves. Written in 1969!!! And still the best help for anxiety there is. She was Australian, and I believe that the book is available everywhere. There are also lots of audios and videos of her on the web.

Also, don't hesitate to go back to any of the writing techniques that you learned about doing the SEP (I assume that's the program you did?). When I'm having a setback, I sit down and make lists of whatever pops into my head, and examine the ones that are likely to be bothering me.

~Jan

 

[Alea89]

Hello Jan, thank you for your response and encouragement.
I agree that the subconscious emotions about my work are definitely the reason pain is constantly reappearing and present.
I also think that what keeps the pain going is the subconscious belief that working on the computer and sitting for long periods of time is very bad for my back.
Since childhood I had scoliosis, and the idea that the pain and back problems will be a big part of my life was in my subconscious mind for a very long time. I still find it hard to think differently but I'm trying to unlearn some old beliefs.

I have not read anything from Dr. Weekes yet. I'll definitely do some reading, thank you

 

[Click#7]

I just read an interesting case study where spine doctors give opinions on there work. Here it goes...a 40 year old woman has lower back pain mostly at night requiring opiates to sleep. MRI showed disc degeneration at L5-S1 with moderate loss of height. Pain ongoing for 4 years. The surgeon did a fusion. The "reviewing surgeon" of the presentation pretty much disagreed with about an additional 40 % of doctors opting out to perform surgery. He found it unusual that the woman would only have pain at night and not the other way around. He questioned the kind of PT she received. He also stated he would have considered more of a psychosocial evaluation. He also told the surgeon in a round about way good job since the woman is pain free after 3 months, but time will tell. Wow I was impressed.

 

[Alea89]

Why do symptoms return everytime I try to do some physical exercise that is more than just walking?
I keep telling my brain it's TMS, but its hard for me to believe since the pain is exactly on the location of my l4-l5 disk bulge I also have tension in my shoulders which I know it's TMS, but when doing physical exercise and the l4-l5 area starts to hurt I start doubting in TMS diagnosis.