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Moving forward - Day 10

North Star

North Star

Beloved Grand Eagle
So far so good. This program is very helpful for me. The connection between emotions/symptoms is becoming more clear. I could feel some anxiety start to churn up last night though I couldn't really pinpoint what it was stemming from.

And sure's shootin'...last night I tossed and turned and had stupid anxiety dreams. And guess what...this morning...some symptoms are trying to re-emerge. I'd like to reach for the ibuprofen but I'm telling myself I don't need any, I need to sort out my head. And of course, there is the fear that if I don't nip this thing in the bud, I'm heading for another of my famous marathon headaches. (Headaches that last for a week or more. They have absolutely sucked the life out of me in the past.)

I really wish I was one of those people who just read the book and are fixed. But since that isn't the case, I'll go back to my journaling once again. And then there's the hesitation to open some locked doors but I know the hesitation is telling me it's all the more important that I DO open some doors.

*Sigh!* I'm very grateful that today I get to meet with a friend who is seeing great victories over her TMS. (How lucky am I to have a person in real life to walk with through this journey?)

Thanks again for your time, folks!
 
As I have read...most aren't fixed by reading the book. Not me but I sure new something was going on when I read it.

My mind still trys to side track me with a new sort of pain. I bought new tennis shoes identical to my old. I walk 4-6 miles each day to deal with my TMS. Wouldn't you know my feet started throbbing after walking. I knew it had to be TMS.

A TMS trait is not wanting to draw attention to myself. I always sit in the back row. It is so difficult asking a question... almost impossible.

I, too, am so grateful for a friend recovering from TMS...umh....do we ever recover or just learn to manage?
 
Learn to manage or recover...good question, Stella. I've got to focus on recovery...but only for today. The thought of just managing this for the rest of my life makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry. But then I realize today is all any of us has.
I'm so grateful right now that I can walk more. The lack of walking has been a huge loss to me for this past year. So this is huge! I know you know this if you're walking 4-6 miles a day. That's what I'll be doing shortly on a regular basis. :)
Have a great Sunday, Stella!
 
90% of my pain is gone. That is very very good and that is what I focus on. But, always a but, I am taking care of my parent's every need (the source of my TMS) health care, prescriptions, finances, etc. I have numerous minor symptoms all the time related to my parents. Recently my Father is requiring more medical help from my Mother. My Mother is extremely depressed. All my personality traits kick in, feeling responsible, feeling like I have to fix it, feeling guilt, feeling anger, fear of rejection, fear of failure. And they could live another 10+ years so, for me, it will always be managing. And lots of ups and down.

I have to pull out every tool in my toolbox; journaling, walking, meditating, beating my bat, reading... you name I am pulling it out. Depression is my challenge. But I licked it before and can lick it again.

You will do great Montana Mom.
 
Wow, I understand more of what you're talking about, Stella. I too am swimming in some challenging circumstances. And I'm just now starting to understand how my personality and dysfunctional upbringing have contributed to my TMS.
And yeah, I've had my round with depression too -it's a vulnerable area for me. One of my most challenging things is the loooooong dark winters here. We've simply got to move but the timing just isn't working right now. *sigh!*

Again, so grateful for the friendly, understanding folks here....like you, Stella! ;)
 
I know what you mean by marathon headaches that last a week or more!!! NO FUN! Fortunately, I can say I haven't had one in about 9 months or so. Instead, my TMS has given me a good dose of constant TMJ. :(
 
So far....I'm about 2 weeks headache free. It's tried to come back....unsuccessfully. Sorry about the TMJ...I've had that in the past. Probably one of my first TMJ symptoms 30 or so years ago.
 
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