Move towards the pain?

Ewok

Ewok

Peer Supporter
Hello,

I'm hoping someone can explain what it means to "move towards the pain" and not away from it? I see this advice given often. Does it mean to accept it and get on with things, while thinking psychologically (rather than structurally) about the pain? Or is it more than that or something else?
 
I tell people to move toward their pain, meaning to understand it, not to ignore it mentally or to try to heal it. Become comfortable with it, sit with it, when you feel it don't worry, don't panic, understand what it is saying. You can reject it physically all day long, but don't reject it emotionally, or message-wise.

The body is crying out to be heard, if you don't listen it will only cry harder because it's the child within you begging to have its needs met. If your child was crying would you run away from it, or toward it?
 
Thanks Steve, that's really clear. I would of course run towards the child and listen to them and do anything I could to help.

Funny that you put it that way because the other day I have having a "discussion" with my husband in which I said, "I spend all day running around to to do everything for everyone in this house, I barely have 5 minutes when one of the children doesn't need something from me, yet when I need someone, it feels like no one comes. Even when I tell you I need help, I still don't seem to get it without asking twenty times."

What do you do when you think you know what the child in you needs but you just can't seem to find a way to give it to them? I need more time alone, more fun, probably to go back into part-time work to get out more, but that just isn't possible at present.
 
Ewok said:
Thanks Steve, that's really clear. I would of course run towards the child and listen to them and do anything I could to help.

Funny that you put it that way because the other day I have having a "discussion" with my husband in which I said, "I spend all day running around to to do everything for everyone in this house, I barely have 5 minutes when one of the children doesn't need something from me, yet when I need someone, it feels like no one comes. Even when I tell you I need help, I still don't seem to get it without asking twenty times."

What do you do when you think you know what the child in you needs but you just can't seem to find a way to give it to them? I need more time alone, more fun, probably to go back into part-time work to get out more, but that just isn't possible at present.
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This resonates with me so much as a mom of a young child and a teen. One thing I try to do is remind that child inside me that I have not forgotten about her, that I see her, and that I might not be able to meet all of her needs right now but that I am going to aim in that direction. Just like how with parenting our children we don't have to be perfect, only "good enough," same holds true with re-parenting our inner children.
 
Say you have a Headache...first thing we do is FOCUS on how to get rid of it....rarely do we sit there relaxed and FEEL it more....really sit with it...be with it....embrace it....move toward it.
 
it is just like you're getting a bad sunburn. It hurt like hell but you're not traumatize or worry about it. Because you know what is causing it and you know it can be cure/reversible/no lasting harm. (this require complete acceptance and trust in Dr. Sarno's theory)
 
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