Last night I spent some time journaling. I wrote about a horrible experience where my mother was physically abused in front of me when I was eight years old. I wrote about how helpless I felt in that situation Today, I find myself crying but not crying openly enough. I feel that the mental anguish has been stirred up, but is not overflowing. My physical pain has increased too. I am stuck in a stage where both physical and mental pain are fighting each other, the mental anguish wants to run untamed but the physical pain is trying to tie it down.