Common to all my stressors, past and present, is this theme of feeling silenced - like I have to keep everything in... So... TMS. This compulsive silence has bred resentment and frustration and powerlessness. But now that I am looking at the big picture, I am just sad for myself. I am sad that I felt I needed to keep quiet about everything. I am sad for me as a little girl, terrified to speak up and I am sad for me, a strong and fierce woman who was also afraid to speak up for herself (not others.) The great thing is, not only is my sciatica subsiding, I am finally finding my voice.