Morning rage...

[Filipe2025]

Hi, it's been a while since I last came here.

As some of you might know the first time I got rid of TMS, I thought it was just a matter of getting rid of it, while in fact I now understand that TMS is something you have to deal all your life

TMS is caused by rage. Rage created by fear, frustration, and life changes and new obstacles. Why is life always changing? and we know it changes for the worst, as we age, because the question "What's the point of living, or building, when we all know our fate", or "what are we all here in this planet doing?" Will never be answered. All this creates rage. I often feel rage due to regret, disappointment, seeing life taking your loved ones. It's not easy to maintain a positive attitude, when you are always facing things you thought were resolved.

I feel rage of being alone, of boredom, of change, of old age, of the manipulation of people by governments, of the cost of life that is increasing every day, of foreigns buying my country, making almost impossible for Portuguese people to live in their homeland, of smartphones and this digital world, etc

There is so many things that today are getting me into this rage, that TMS is a constant battle for me. My inner child wants love, wants to be seen, wants exciting things to do, wants to be desired, new experiences, like in the old days, and it's not getting it..

In the past I wanted to find new experiences, now I miss the old days, when I had a wife, and a family. Who would understand this?!?! It's not easy to live... We are unhappy by nature.

Anyway, just to tell you that the smothering sensation/Globus was also TMS. As Steve o would say, your brain can do anything to avoid you from dealing with this Powerful emotions.

My problem now is also dealing with this morning fear and rage, with my mind always scaring me, anf focusing on what I don't have, or not doing. The clock is ticking, I'm getting old, and opportunities are getting scarse. Is this what life is all about? Cheating yourself?. We need love, and people's love. We need to be seen...

Thanks

 

[BloodMoon]

In recovery, yes, you do need to recognise and feel anger. But at the same time, you’re keeping yourself in a loop of the same negative themes — it’s the same thoughts repeating and reinforcing each other.

Even when things are genuinely difficult, it’s never only bad. There’s always something that went right, even if it’s small or easy to overlook. The problem is your mind is filtering that out and focusing almost entirely on what’s wrong or missing.

Part of getting out of that loop is learning to interrupt it. Not by pretending everything is great, but by deliberately bringing your attention back to something that is actually okay or worked out.

That’s not false optimism — it’s correcting a bias and seeing a more complete picture of reality.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

When you talk about morning fear and rage, is it safe to assume that it must change somewhat throughout the day in order for you to specify it as being in the morning? What changes? The thing I thought of as well reading this, and I am not disputing the need and desire to feel seen by others, but it doesn't sound as if there's a lot of seeing yourself going on. It's difficult to expect others to view you differently than you view yourself, we're all pretty impressionable, and the path of least resistance is to often agree with how someone else views themselves (if you try to convince someone that they have worth when they don't think they do and they are consistently pushing back on your attempts, eventually you'll probably throw your hands up and say ok you're right). I would also say too that I don't agree that TMS is caused per se by rage, it is caused by repressed rage/feeling guilty for the rage itself, but no specific emotion on its own causes TMS - emotions are safe and our nervous system is designed to handle them.

 

[feduccini]

Hi Filipe, hope you're getting better. First, Adam already said it but the problem is not rage. Rage is a burst of repressed anger, it's kind of a desperate measure. In your posts you've been referring to the things that cause you this feeling and sometimes you talk about deep issues (like loneliness) but then mix them with these rage bursts themselves.

Also we know now anger is not the only TMS culprit. Just a powerful one.

Anyway what I really wanted to say is that you keep coming back to this nostalgic view of life, complaining about what's new and blaming this for your issues. But it's a losing battle, you won't get the past back. Everyone in this forum is getting with terms that TMS robbed us of precious time living life as we wanted. It gets worse, many young people are experiencing this during the prime of their lives.

I really want you to try and think more about the good things. And to give the political talk some break. Those are pure hatred with the solemn purpose of creating anxiety. By the way, as a brazilian I can't help but roll my eyes when you complain about the portuguese being invaded by other countries.

There are plenty of good things out there.

 

[Filipe2025]

One thing that also brings me rage and fear is the sense that I'm losing pleasure in life. The things that used to give .me the kicks aren't giving.me anymore. It scares me

 

[BloodMoon]

The things that used to give .me the kicks aren't giving.me anymore.

“Maybe happiness didn’t have to be about the big, sweeping circumstances, about having everything in your life in place. Maybe it was about stringing together a bunch of small pleasures.” – Ann Brashares (author)

I’ve found this to be the answer. Don't force the same old highs or chase new ones, gently notice the smaller things that bring a little ease, interest, or comfort. It may not feel like much at first, but over time, all those little things can add up to pleasure and contentment.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

“Maybe happiness didn’t have to be about the big, sweeping circumstances, about having everything in your life in place. Maybe it was about stringing together a bunch of small pleasures.” – Ann Brashares (author)

I’ve found this to be the answer. Don't force the same old highs or chase new ones, gently notice the smaller things that bring a little ease, interest, or comfort. It may not feel like much at first, but over time, all those little things can add up to pleasure and contentment.

Agreed - life is ever changing too and in a way that's what makes it interesting. As are we, what makes us tick can change over time. If it was the exact same every day (like Groundhog Day) you'd be equally unsatisfied.

There's an episode of The Twilight Zone (that I thought of when I read the initial post) where a man passes away (who was a career criminal) and he basically wakes up in this alternate universe where he has whatever he wants, he can't do any wrong. He plays pool and the game is essentially rigged, he can't miss a shot. He enjoys it at first but eventually it drives him nuts, so he asks to be sent to the other place, his guide says "Heaven? Whatever gave you the idea you were in Heaven, Mr. Valentine? This IS the other place!". It's Season 1 Episode 28 (A nice place to visit) for anyone interested (shortened version -

).

I'm not comparing anyone to that character obviously, but it is massive food for thought to me

 

[Filipe2025]

Thanks for all your replies. I'm really negative, sorry. Rage is building up, and I'm in a constant battle to lower it. I'm always saying to my self, it's alright, that life is going to get better, that my inner child will get what it wants, etc.

After many attempts to resume my life with a new woman, I finally gave up. So I tried to get my old life back. Unfortunately my ex doesn't want me anymore.

There should be abundance in the world, but what I can see more, and more, is scarcity. You have to give up your dreams early in life, because you know that life is a battlefield. If you lose the opportunity to get a good job, and chase your dreams, you will be obsolete. I realised it is the same with relationships. At 50, I see no woman that is available, either she is with with a guy or not. What i think more about life, is that you actually don't live, you just survive, in all its fields. It is a struggle even to get friends, or company. At 50, it is almost impossible to make new friends specially if you are single. It is so frustrating. I see more, and more people alone.

There is scarcity in almost all the areas. Most of the Portuguese People that didn't buy a house in Lisbon, cannot afford to buy it anymore.

For me life is nothing more than frustration, miss opportunities, regret, deception. And if you don't accept it, you it is worse. You have to deal with pain, depression, anxiety.

I now think considering the circumstances, I should just let my ex wife be the boss. I would still be with her.

On the other hand, I look at my son, and realise, that frustration is building as he age. The things he used to love doing, from year, to year, aren't enough anymore as he enters adolescence. His toys aren't enough. He wants new ones. Friends, girls. So even our biology, makes us unhappy beings. We are programmed that way. We are programmed to be frustrated, to look for more, and better...

Ps: when I was a kid I always wanted more. I wanted every toy I could get. It's funny, yo realise that this child is still a part of me . I wasn't spoiled, I m just not immune to provocation, and life provokes with what you don't have, all the time, beautiful women, great cars, houses, big families, etc... I'm just frustrated if not getting what my inner child wants, and if losing what it already had.

Ps: Adam, I just love the twilight zone. I will watch the episode.

 

[Filipe2025]

“Maybe happiness didn’t have to be about the big, sweeping circumstances, about having everything in your life in place. Maybe it was about stringing together a bunch of small pleasures.” – Ann Brashares (author)

I’ve found this to be the answer. Don't force the same old highs or chase new ones, gently notice the smaller things that bring a little ease, interest, or comfort. It may not feel like much at first, but over time, all those little things can add up to pleasure and contentment.

That's why, I get better during the day, when logic surfaces. I think, I have a wonderful life, I'm healthy, alive and free. Although bored of being alone all the time you see, I'm sick of trying to "fight" for company..

I reach to a point where I feel lazy, or procrastinate all the time. I think, what is the point of doing something, of going on a date, of making big plans, if it is all so difficult. You end either hurt, or more miserable. Good Things just not happened for me, or for.most of us. I always had to struggle, in the past to get something, and I just got tired. It is not easy to maintain the will. Why do one loses the pleasure in things that he once lived doing? How do we get bored of old things we used to love?

By the way, rage goes completely away (I mean completely 200%), when I'm with people, when I'm seen, heard, etc. When people give me attention, on the rare occasion of work dinners, where people dine together. So my problem is just a matter of being a part of the world, being seen, heard, the need of being praised by others, belonging.... I come from a family, where I really had to fight for attention. I was the youngest and nobody let me speak... Many clues...

 

[Filipe2025]

Hi Filipe, hope you're getting better. First, Adam already said it but the problem is not rage. Rage is a burst of repressed anger, it's kind of a desperate measure. In your posts you've been referring to the things that cause you this feeling and sometimes you talk about deep issues (like loneliness) but then mix them with these rage bursts themselves.

Also we know now anger is not the only TMS culprit. Just a powerful one.

Anyway what I really wanted to say is that you keep coming back to this nostalgic view of life, complaining about what's new and blaming this for your issues. But it's a losing battle, you won't get the past back. Everyone in this forum is getting with terms that TMS robbed us of precious time living life as we wanted. It gets worse, many young people are experiencing this during the prime of their lives.

I really want you to try and think more about the good things. And to give the political talk some break. Those are pure hatred with the solemn purpose of creating anxiety. By the way, as a brazilian I can't help but roll my eyes when you complain about the portuguese being invaded by other countries.

There are plenty of good things out there.

I complain because life in Portugal, namely in Lisbon, turned out for the worst, because of this foreign invasion. I mean, people come to Lisbon because it's a trend. Nobody cared about Portugal in the 80s, 90s, early 2000, until Cristiano Ronaldo, showed up. The problem is that salaries continue to be very, very low, but life cost raised in the last years. Portuguese young people are living this country everyday. Our finest brains. Houses prices doubled in the last 5 years, and now they are building only for ritch Americans, French, etc. The best neighbours in Lisbon are now occupied by rich foreigners. They "expelled" local portugueses from those places raising house rents, and adding restaurants, and stores where thing are much more expensive. The poor people that enter this country are modern slaves. They live as 30 in a small house. So the Portuguese middle class is disappearing fast. I predict there won't be middle class Portuguese living in Lisbon In the next 15 years. The problem is that the rest of Portugal is also being invaded. It is a Trojan horse invasion.

So in 15 years Portugal will be like Brazil. They are already trying to make some beaches private. Brazil is such a rich country, in natural resources, and people there live so bad. You see what I mean.

 

[Sita]

I complain because life in Portugal, namely in Lisbon, turned out for the worst, because of this foreign invasion. I mean, people come to Lisbon because it's a trend. Nobody cared about Portugal in the 80s, 90s, early 2000, until Cristiano Ronaldo, showed up. The problem is that salaries continue to be very, very low, but life cost raised in the last years. Portuguese young people are living this country everyday. Our finest brains. Houses prices doubled in the last 5 years, and now they are building only for ritch Americans, French, etc. The best neighbours in Lisbon are now occupied by rich foreigners. They "expelled" local portugueses from those places raising house rents, and adding restaurants, and stores where thing are much more expensive. The poor people that enter this country are modern slaves. They live as 30 in a small house. So the Portuguese middle class is disappearing fast. I predict there won't be middle class Portuguese living in Lisbon In the next 15 years. The problem is that the rest of Portugal is also being invaded. It is a Trojan horse invasion.

So in 15 years Portugal will be like Brazil. They are already trying to make some beaches private. Brazil is such a rich country, in natural resources, and people there live so bad. You see what I mean.

It's like this everywhere, not just in Portugal. You just have to pay attention and you'll see it.

I left California two years ago to move to a more affordable state here in the US. I'm in Arizona now. And young families here in Arizona can't buy houses anymore because of "rich" Californians who moved here out of desperation and now they buy everything in Arizona.

The "rich" Americans who come to Portugal can't afford to live in the US anymore. The "poor" people who enter your country would starve to death in their own native countries.

And on and on and on...

 

[Filipe2025]

It's like this everywhere, not just in Portugal. You just have to pay attention and you'll see it.

I left California two years ago to move to a more affordable state here in the US. I'm in Arizona now. And young families here in Arizona can't buy houses anymore because of "rich" Californians who moved here out of desperation and now they buy everything in Arizona.

The "rich" Americans who come to Portugal can't afford to live in the US anymore. The "poor" people who enter your country would starve to death in their own native countries.

And on and on and on...

So, we have to fight, right? Rich people are getting richer every day. They now have the means to enslave us, with the advent of this digital world. But fighting makes you feel bad, anger is something you should avoid... In Portugal there are houses being build like mansions, and we all know where that money comes, right. It comes from selling weapons, making wars, etc. I feel smothered by this digital world. There is no place to hide. Houses are being bought for profit only.

The truth is that you will always feel rage against injustice, and inferior complexes towards people that have much more money than you. Your inner child will Envy them.

I been wondering why I feel so disappointed with life, but maybe human beings weren't design to live past 50. I don't know, but I do feel worse, although I have the knowledge. Feeling good is always a struggle. I used to love video, photography. This ai and til tok, and smartphones, everybody can do video, or take a photo. I don't know it destroyed my love for making video, completely. There is too much bad stuff, that goes viral... You are flooded with information

Why do we get bored of old things we used to love doing? TMS won't stand a chance if you are entertained. But it seems that what only entertains me is being loved, or among people, feeling that I belong....

 

[Diana-M]

@Filipe2025
Hello my friend! The irony is, you have friends here. You’re not alone.

There’s more to you than rage. These thought are part of a hyperactive nervous system. It’s designed to focus on the negative because that’s what kept our cavemen ancestors alive.

They always say if you want to have friends be a friend. The most love you can feel is when you are loving other people. When love flows out from you, it will fill you up. You have a lot to give. Where can you give it? Are there any charities where you could work? You might even meet people there.

I really feel your pain on the aging and losses. It’s hard to process all of this sometimes. There are a lot of disappointments. So many! But we have to fight to survive. Let’s find a way to make life good anyway.

 

[feduccini]

@Sita is right, this is happening everywhere. Spain for example has become the favorite destiny for retired rich people, as a number of their cities have ranked up as best places to live, which elevated the cost of everything, expelling the locals. Gentrification has been an issue all around the world for a long time, it's just it's now also reaching the middle class.

It's not just that. With smartphone cameras everywhere we are becoming to perceive the world as it really is, full of injustices and power abuse. Remember the human being evolved to live in small groups, we are not wired to cope with information coming from everywhere at the same time.

So I don't think the issue is how gentrification is coming to Portugal or how people in general (not only youngsters) spend their time on Tik Tok and Instagram. It's more how we are being bombarded by danger signals coming from everywhere, and how it triggers chronic issues like pain, anxiety, depression, insomnia etc.

 

[Filipe2025]

@Filipe2025
Hello my friend! The irony is, you have friends here. You’re not alone.

There’s more to you than rage. These thought are part of a hyperactive nervous system. It’s designed to focus on the negative because that’s what kept our cavemen ancestors alive.

They always say if you want to have friends be a friend. The most love you can feel is when you are loving other people. When love flows out from you, it will fill you up. You have a lot to give. Where can you give it? Are there any charities where you could work? You might even meet people there.

I really feel your pain on the aging and losses. It’s hard to process all of this sometimes. There are a lot of disappointments. So many! But we have to fight to survive. Let’s find a way to make life good anyway.

Hi Diana, I know I have friends here. I consider you a very good friend .

I joined a church group, as I told you, but it is still not enough. I'm starving for human warmth. I was also playing soccer, but I injured myself. I'm already 100, but what really astonished me was, that nobody of my soccer group cared to ask if I was fine already. Some of this new digital era generation of Young people are very selfish...

My major problem is and was really my relationship with my ex. I always loved her, but she is treating me very badly. She is bad for myselfesteme. Always telling me that I'm stuck in the past. I devoted 30 years of my life to her.

But, It's so wonderful to know that I clearly see the TMS picture now, I clearly see what is TMS, and why I feel what I feel. In the past I wasn't sure, and it was scary. Now, I know that has all to due with rage. We have literally a child inside, and I totally understand my inner child, what it wants, what it lacks, why it is frustrated,and disappointed with life, but the problem is that I cannot change the world so it will be happy. It needs love, and human warmth, and we all know we live in a era, where money/status quo counts as never before, people are so afraid of being different from the pack, despite it seems like the opposite. They hide in their social masks. We also live in the paradox of excess, people instead of investing in someone, they think the right person is there somewhere, it's only a matter of sliding photos on dating apps

I need to be around people, like you, but I cannot find them.

Lisbon is packed with digital nomads, and strange people. My old friends are impossible to reach, they move to another country, or they are busy with their family, or their works. But we're they really my friends? During COVID, we see how fear, can turn them into
surviving mode. COVID set us apart.

I also feel like my son is in a crisis. He wants to be with friends, and nobody seems to be around. They are all playing games, indoors.

Anyway, Its so good to come here and to talk to people that understand us.

Thanks

 

[Filipe2025]

@Sita is right, this is happening everywhere. Spain for example has become the favorite destiny for retired rich people, as a number of their cities have ranked up as best places to live, which elevated the cost of everything, expelling the locals. Gentrification has been an issue all around the world for a long time, it's just it's now also reaching the middle class.

It's not just that. With smartphone cameras everywhere we are becoming to perceive the world as it really is, full of injustices and power abuse. Remember the human being evolved to live in small groups, we are not wired to cope with information coming from everywhere at the same time.

So I don't think the issue is how gentrification is coming to Portugal or how people in general (not only youngsters) spend their time on Tik Tok and Instagram. It's more how we are being bombarded by danger signals coming from everywhere, and how it triggers chronic issues like pain, anxiety, depression, insomnia etc.

I remember in the past, I melted everytime I hear the Brazilian accent, I was a fan of the Brazilian soccer team, I loved roque Santeiro, sítio do picapau amarelo, Ney MatoGrosso, etc, but the Brazilians are 200 millions. Portugal is a very small country to harbour so many people. I don't want a world where everywhere you go you see the same thing, the same culture. Western way of living is everywhere. Even in African countries they wanna be like Kim Kardashian, and such. The influence of reality shows, tik took, and such is destroying the heterogeneous world we once have. Lately, iv seen Brazilians here that try talking using the Portuguese accent.

 

[Diana-M]

Hi Diana, I know I have friends here. I consider you a very good friend .

I joined a church group, as I told you, but it is still not enough. I'm starving for human warmth. I was also playing soccer, but I injured myself. I'm already 100, but what really astonished me was, that nobody of my soccer group cared to ask if I was fine already. Some of this new digital era generation of Young people are very selfish...

My major problem is and was really my relationship with my ex. I always loved her, but she is treating me very badly. She is bad for myselfesteme. Always telling me that I'm stuck in the past. I devoted 30 years of my life to her.

But, It's so wonderful to know that I clearly see the TMS picture now, I clearly see what is TMS, and why I feel what I feel. In the past I wasn't sure, and it was scary. Now, I know that has all to due with rage. We have literally a child inside, and I totally understand my inner child, what it wants, what it lacks, why it is frustrated,and disappointed with life, but the problem is that I cannot change the world so it will be happy. It needs love, and human warmth, and we all know we live in a era, where money/status quo counts as never before, people are so afraid of being different from the pack, despite it seems like the opposite. They hide in their social masks. We also live in the paradox of excess, people instead of investing in someone, they think the right person is there somewhere, it's only a matter of sliding photos on dating apps

I need to be around people, like you, but I cannot find them.

Lisbon is packed with digital nomads, and strange people. My old friends are impossible to reach, they move to another country, or they are busy with their family, or their works. But we're they really my friends? During COVID, we see how fear, can turn them into
surviving mode. COVID set us apart.

I also feel like my son is in a crisis. He wants to be with friends, and nobody seems to be around. They are all playing games, indoors.

Anyway, Its so good to come here and to talk to people that understand us.

Thanks

I consider you a friend, too. I sympathize with everything you are saying. This is such a crazy world now. It’s hard to find peace.

 

[TrustIt]

Thanks for all your replies. I'm really negative, sorry. Rage is building up, and I'm in a constant battle to lower it. I'm always saying to my self, it's alright, that life is going to get better, that my inner child will get what it wants, etc.

After many attempts to resume my life with a new woman, I finally gave up. So I tried to get my old life back. Unfortunately my ex doesn't want me anymore.

There should be abundance in the world, but what I can see more, and more, is scarcity. You have to give up your dreams early in life, because you know that life is a battlefield. If you lose the opportunity to get a good job, and chase your dreams, you will be obsolete. I realised it is the same with relationships. At 50, I see no woman that is available, either she is with with a guy or not. What i think more about life, is that you actually don't live, you just survive, in all its fields. It is a struggle even to get friends, or company. At 50, it is almost impossible to make new friends specially if you are single. It is so frustrating. I see more, and more people alone.

There is scarcity in almost all the areas. Most of the Portuguese People that didn't buy a house in Lisbon, cannot afford to buy it anymore.

For me life is nothing more than frustration, miss opportunities, regret, deception. And if you don't accept it, you it is worse. You have to deal with pain, depression, anxiety.

I now think considering the circumstances, I should just let my ex wife be the boss. I would still be with her.

On the other hand, I look at my son, and realise, that frustration is building as he age. The things he used to love doing, from year, to year, aren't enough anymore as he enters adolescence. His toys aren't enough. He wants new ones. Friends, girls. So even our biology, makes us unhappy beings. We are programmed that way. We are programmed to be frustrated, to look for more, and better...

Ps: when I was a kid I always wanted more. I wanted every toy I could get. It's funny, yo realise that this child is still a part of me . I wasn't spoiled, I m just not immune to provocation, and life provokes with what you don't have, all the time, beautiful women, great cars, houses, big families, etc... I'm just frustrated if not getting what my inner child wants, and if losing what it already had.

Ps: Adam, I just love the twilight zone. I will watch the episode.

Perhaps you are thinking small, meaning the "things" you want that you"think" will make you happy won't and in the end you will still want more. Pursuing those more superficial things will be the actual waste of time/life. What you, we, all of us, are really after is peace. And that comes before healing, not after.
Not preaching. , I know exactly where you are and I go in and out of that myself so you are definitely not alone on this roller coaster. It's very hard not to obsess if we've been dealing with something for a long time.

 

[Filipe2025]

Perhaps you are thinking small, meaning the "things" you want that you"think" will make you happy won't and in the end you will still want more. Pursuing those more superficial things will be the actual waste of time/life. What you, we, all of us, are really after is peace. And that comes before healing, not after.
Not preaching. , I know exactly where you are and I go in and out of that myself so you are definitely not alone on this roller coaster. It's very hard not to obsess if we've been dealing with something for a long time.

There are times when I feel fine, relaxed, but for very short periods. My inner child is perceiving danger, and it starts after I wake up. In fact, sometimes I just don't want to get out of my bed, for fear. Big changes happened in my life. In a way, my mother replaced my wife, after my divorce, she would come with me and my son on vacations, but she can't anymore. She is too old. It is the first time I m going on vacations just with my son.

I had always a strong connection with my mother. I guess it was stronger than I ever thought.

I don't feel pain now, but I feel this constant irritability, this heavyness on my head, sometimes I feel dizzy. It's all the same.

Yesterday I manage to calm down my fears and rage. Than a phrase came into my mind "calm your body, heal your mind", and not the other way around, how I used to think by default/common sense tell us. First you have to calm your body, patty it, etc., I already order David hanscom book. He is so right.

What is annoying this time, is that I've been through these ups and downs all this year. Im still into this roller coaster, if fear and rage. In the past it was transient, I would be like this for a day or two and then it would go away. I guess there is no magic bullet for TMS. Or maybe it's more difficult to shift your attention as you age.

On the other hand, I just wish I was more immune to life provocations, I just wish I could ignore that the world is going in a direction I don't like, that we are spending our money in weapons, that our youngsters won't be able to buy a house, that people are spending hours in dating apps, instead of talking to each other, that people spend hours watching reality shows, or pretending they are like the Kardashians, that some people behave like sheep, that status quo is so important in our society, that narcissism is trendy, etc.,