Mold & Anxiety?

[mmeswine]

Hi all,

I am new to this forum but not new to TMS. I've had "random" pain throughout my life that has easily come and gone. For instance, a few years ago I started a new job and developed horrible carpal tunnel syndrome. Once I realized it was related to stress about the new job, it went away instantly. I haven't had carpal tunnel issues since. I also had a headache that lasted for six weeks and went away as soon as I had to take a pet to the hospital (I believe the stress of that took precedence over the headache so it disappeared). And finally I had chronic fatigue for years that cleared up after doing intensive trauma therapy and leaving a toxic relationship.

Now, years later, I'm finding myself with new symptoms that aren't exactly pain related. I moved into an old house with a roommate (I hadn't had a roommate in 15 years!) and I noticed whenever I went down to the basement to do laundry I would get horrible allergies, headache, neck pain, and even a mild fever. It took me awhile to make the connection. My roommate was fine (she even had a treadmill down there) and everyone else who had lived at the house or visited was completely fine. I avoided the basement or wore an N95 mask when I went down to do laundry. I never saw or smelled mold but it was a musty old basement. Months later we turned the heat on I found myself experiencing this symptoms all the time, no just in the basement. I told the landlords and they had the HVAC system professionally cleaned but it made no difference. So I decided to just move into a brand new apartment.

So, here I am in a new apartment but I'm still experiencing these symptoms including increased anxiety! I have a full body buzzing at all times now, almost like neuropathy. I brought with me to my new place an unfinished wooden shelf that I'm now wondering if it's soaked up whatever allergy/mold/who knows and that's why I'm still having symptoms. But again, NO ONE ELSE HAS. It's just me. And it's in conjunction with major anxiety.

I'm wondering if the anxiety came from having a roommate (it was stressful to me). I'm also just now coming out of two years of being in a fight or flight state after losing my job and being underemployed the whole time. But why would I still be having anxiety and symptoms if this has all passed?

Has anyone else experienced something similar or have any advice? I've checked this forum as well as googling "TMS, Sarno, Mold" and only a few things come up so I'm not sure if this is TMS related or not. I'm trying to stay off all of the toxic mold illness forums! That really increases my fear and anxiety.

 

[Cactusflower]

This topic was quite recently posted about, so perhaps just try a search on just the word "Mold" or "toxicity" or "toxic" because it was posted under a similar subject and had some excellent answers.
But you already know the answer.
Nobody in your home is having any symptoms but yourself.
You have noticed increased anxiety since your symptoms, but you need to look at what stress you were under BEFORE your symptoms began. How were you feeling about your life?
What was going on?
What kind of thoughts were you having about yourself?
Have you been questioning some things in your life which may be hinting at some underlaying anger/rage or perhaps conflict.
Have recent happenings in your life created conflict with your personality traits?

What have you been doing to sooth your nervous system while doing TMS work. If you have not being doing any TMS work, then consider that it isn't a one and done method. We learn the skills to enhance our life and to fairly quickly turn ourselves around if we fall into old TMS habits again.

You are doing well to keep off of forums of doom and gloom etc.

 

[Diana-M]

Hi, @mmeswine —Welcome to the forum!

The mold is a distraction. Just forget about it. To me what stood out on your story is the roommate and the underemployment. For many of us, myself included, money worries are a huge TMS trigger. Did you have to get a roommate because of your underemployment? That would cause some strong feelings. If you journaled on just these two issues alone. Let it rip. Get ugly about it. You’d get valuable insight. Your TMS brain wants you to think about mold—not your emotions. That’s how TMS works.

Have you ever heard of Nicole Sachs? She’s got a podcast that is awesome. It’s called The Cure for Chronic Pain. I think it would resonate with you. Whenever you hear the word pain, replace it with “symptoms supposedly from mold.” It’s all the same. TMS uses a LOT of things. Not just pain.

The buzzing you have (I have had it too, but it is recently gone). It’s from severe anxiety. And yes, it can last. Especially if you’re fueling it with scary thoughts about mold. As you calm your anxiety, it will go away. You can calm yourself with meditation. Also a great book that is Highly Recommended explains it all: Hope and Help for Your Nerves, by Claire Week's, MD.

Hope you stick around. This forum is a goldmine!

 

[mmeswine]

This topic was quite recently posted about, so perhaps just try a search on just the word "Mold" or "toxicity" or "toxic" because it was posted under a similar subject and had some excellent answers.
But you already know the answer.
Nobody in your home is having any symptoms but yourself.
You have noticed increased anxiety since your symptoms, but you need to look at what stress you were under BEFORE your symptoms began. How were you feeling about your life?
What was going on?
What kind of thoughts were you having about yourself?
Have you been questioning some things in your life which may be hinting at some underlaying anger/rage or perhaps conflict.
Have recent happenings in your life created conflict with your personality traits?

What have you been doing to sooth your nervous system while doing TMS work. If you have not being doing any TMS work, then consider that it isn't a one and done method. We learn the skills to enhance our life and to fairly quickly turn ourselves around if we fall into old TMS habits again.

You are doing well to keep off of forums of doom and gloom etc.

Thanks so much for your response. To be honest I haven't done much for my nervous system because I'm been under such stress. I guess I thought once I was gainfully employed again and not stressing about my finances anymore, that the feelings of anxiety would instantly go away, but of course that's not how the body always (or maybe never!) works.

 

[mmeswine]

Hi, @mmeswine —Welcome to the forum!

The mold is a distraction. Just forget about it. To me what stood out on your story is the roommate and the underemployment. For many of us, myself included, money worries are a huge TMS trigger. Did you have to get a roommate because of your underemployment? That would cause some strong feelings. If you journaled on just these two issues alone. Let it rip. Get ugly about it. You’d get valuable insight. Your TMS brain wants you to think about mold—not your emotions. That’s how TMS works.

Have you ever heard of Nicole Sachs? She’s got a podcast that is awesome. It’s called The Cure for chronic pain. I think it would resonate with you. Whenever you hear the word pain, replace it with “symptoms supposedly from mold.” It’s all the same. TMS uses a LOT of things. Not just pain.

The buzzing you have (I have had it too, but it is recently gone). It’s from severe anxiety. And yes, it can last. Especially if you’re fueling it with scary thoughts about mold. As you calm your anxiety, it will go away. You can calm yourself with meditation. Also a great book that is Highly Recommended explains it all: Hope and Help for Your Nerves, by Claire Weekes.

Hope you stick around. This forum is a goldmine!

Thanks for you response, Diana. Yes, I moved in with a roommate because of my financial situation. It was very very stressful for me and I had to also sell a lot of my belongings. I pushed away a lot of feelings about all of it because I wanted to remain detached from the things I owned and be strong about the whole situation. Wow, as I write this I'm realizing just how intense it all was. Guess I need to do some journaling about it all.

I have heard of Nicole Sachs! I really like her podcast a lot. Only thing is, I was trying to find someone on there who had the *exact* same symptoms as me (a classic thing to do I suppose). Glad to hear you had the buzzing that also went away! That is helpful to hear.

 

[Diana-M]

I was trying to find someone on there who had the *exact* same symptoms as me

A lot of people do this at first. I did too. Because my symptoms just seemed too WEIRD to possibly be TMS. But now I’m learning that there is literally no end to what TMS can do. And anxiety can really do a number on your system, especially if you are really stressed out for a long time.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Welcome to the forum, @mmeswine - it sure sounds like you're in the right place, and you've got a lot of success and knowledge as a basis for really getting a handle on this work once and for all.

Awesome responses for you from @Cactusflower and @Diana-M. I would recommend that you make a commitment to yourself to do three things:

1. Read Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Claire Weekes, which is undoubtedly available from your local library. I understand that it's also easy to find audio recordings of her doing readings from her work, from way back in the day.

1. Listen to Nicole Sach's podcast every week, and listen to older episodes in between if you can. I swear, they are like receiving individual therapy from her. Her group Q&A episodes often address questions which frequently arise for many people.

3. Do the Structured Educational Program on the main TMSWiki.org. It's free, and doesn't even require registration. It's a great way to develop and strengthen the skill and habit of emotional writing, which for most of us is the most effective tool for dealing with the inevitable flares that life, and our TMS brains, regularly throw at us.

 

[Diana-M]

listen to older episodes in between if you can.

Nicole recommends her first 3 podcasts to teach you about her journaling method called journalspeak. I can vouch, also with Jan, that she’s amazing!

 

[mmeswine]

A lot of people do this at first. I did too. Because my symptoms just seemed too WEIRD to possibly be TMS. But now I’m learning that there is literally no end to what TMS can do. And anxiety can really do a number on your system, especially if you are really stressed out for a long time.

Yes, too weird! Especially if it's not exactly pain, I just haven't been convinced it could be TMS

Welcome to the forum, @mmeswine - it sure sounds like you're in the right place, and you've got a lot of success and knowledge as a basis for really getting a handle on this work once and for all.

Awesome responses for you from @Cactusflower and @Diana-M. I would recommend that you make a commitment to yourself to do three things:

1. Read Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Claire Weekes, which is undoubtedly available from your local library. I understand that it's also easy to find audio recordings of her doing readings from her work, from way back in the day.

1. Listen to Nicole Sach's podcast every week, and listen to older episodes in between if you can. I swear, they are like receiving individual therapy from her. Her group Q&A episodes often address questions which frequently arise for many people.

3. Do the Structured Educational Program on the main TMSWiki.org. It's free, and doesn't even require registration. It's a great way to develop and strengthen the skill and habit of emotional writing, which for most of us is the most effective tool for dealing with the inevitable flares that life, and our TMS brains, regularly throw at us.

Thanks @JanAtheCPA for your message and offering those action items. I just got Claire Weekes audio and have been listening to Nicole Sachs' podcast as well. I've yet to checkout or do the TMS programs here but I'll start on that too. Hearing from other people and listening to success stories is very helpful to me. It's interesting that TMS symptoms tend to make me (and I imagine others) feel so isolated and alone, it can get so scary. So this forum and the podcasts help a lot.

 

[Diana-M]

Especially if it's not exactly pain, I just haven't been convinced it could be TMS

Yes! This is hard to believe at first, but it’s totally true. Sarno’s last book, The Divided Mind, addressed the many other possibilities—including allergies, high blood pressure, and more as being TMS. Think of them as distractions. Whatever can scare you from looking at your emotions. YOUR brain is hand-picking these symptoms for you, based on what will debilitate you and keep you from changing your thinking and your life. Your PRIMITIVE TMS brain literally wants to keep you alive but nothing else—and it thinks emotions will kill you. If you crawled into bed and never came out, your primitive mind would be very happy.

TMS symptoms tend to make me (and I imagine others) feel so isolated and alone, it can get so scary. So this forum and the podcasts help a lot.

100 percent! It really can get so scary, so fast. Your TMS is like a whirling vortex that wants to pull you down with negative hopeless thoughts. These are all lies. The forum is the antidote to TMS. It is filled with TRUTH and HOPE and lots of people who are winning on their healing journey. Every single day I learn something new here. And it totally keeps me believing I will one day make it out of this. You will too! Just work it!

 

[Baseball65]

But why would I still be having anxiety and symptoms if this has all passed?

That's easy..I learned it by finding it inside myself...Conditioning! Sarno explains it all in "Healing Back Pain" .
We start having a symptom because of a real stressor we never acknowledge. Then all sorts of conditioning kicks in, usually baked in place by our own attentions to it, and THEN even long after the original anger-maker is removed, the symptom lingers... cuz it's now cooked into us.

Sarno uses the example of sitting. People are told by doctors it's bad for you...then one day they are sitting while TMS pain comes...so they blame the chair.

I once was renovating a school office over the X-mas Holidays A woman who wasn't supposed to be there showed up.
She asked me "Is that Oil based paint you're using?"
I told her "Yes...But..."
She cut me off.
"I Knew it...I am getting a headache and I always get a headache from Oil-based paint!"
She fished around in her purse and ate a bunch of Ibuprophen.

I never bothered to tell her....The Cans had NOT even been opened and were hermetically sealed. (LOL) I was going to tell her as much, but she wouldn't let me.

She had conditioned herself to have a headache. That's how it happens, and the result. It happens to all of us, just usally a little more subtly. We are all her, in a way.

 

[Baseball65]

oh..BTW. I work around mold all the time and I have never gotten sick from it. That doesn't mean people Can't I suppose. it hit the news in the early nineties when Ed Mcmahon tried to get out of buying an expensive mansion based on the 'mold' . People have been getting sick from it ever since.

Before that, we just cleaned it and were grossed out by it.