Day 4 Mini Breakthrough! Exercise vs. Pressure

Hi Friends,

I am so happy that I'm jumping out of my skin and I need to post a mini breakthrough I had yesterday.

I was on Day 4 of the Educational Program and in week 3 since reading "Mindbody Prescription." I was listening to Alan's psycho therapy sessions about being our own worst bully. It directly related to me.

Quick backstory:
I am doing this because I have chronic migraines (5 years and 2 months). I have a migraine at all times and it's horrible. It's ruined my life and for the past 3 months I've been having horrible anxiety from fear of having another big migraine. It can last for up to 9 days at a time of really bad excruciating pain. I'm sure you can all relate with your own chronic pain.

Here is my breakthrough:
I'm trying to start exercising again and decided to only do exercise that is fun. When I was younger I was heavily involved in dance and I still really enjoy it. Last week I took my first dance class in 17 years and it was thrilling. I enjoyed every minute of it. So.. I signed up for every Wednesday.

I've been looking forward to it all week but all day at work every time I thought about going my migraine would get worse. Then, came the anxiety. I took what I learned from Alan's clips of therapy sessions. What I learned was that I put immense pressure on myself all day at all times. It never ends. I even do it to my family members. I also was fascinated with how he kept catching people thinking logically instead of emotionally.

I kept thinking that I can't go because I'm putting too much pressure on myself to exercise. All day I was stuck in this dilemma, do I push myself or just go home?

I started backwards. Why do I have anxiety (this time, not thinking logically but emotionally). My answer was pressure. Why do I have pressure? Answer: because I have to be the best. That stopped me in my tracks.

In a nutshell, my dance history was intense and I put so much pressure on myself that it ruined my self esteem and I had to quit to save myself. When I was thinking of going to class I thought this is going to be too hard tonight. I'm tired and I'm not sure if I could do it. It will make me feel bad and make my headache worse.

I told my brain, "listen, we're going to compromise. Tonight you're going to be the worst dancer in the class. You are not there to exercise, you are there to have fun. If your headache gets worse we go home. Simple. We are safe. Just go."

Then the TMS started while I was driving. My migraine shifted from the right to the top of my head as if my brain was fighting. I kept repeating the same thing to my brain.

To my surprise, 10 minutes into the class I had NO MIGRAINE!!!! No sensation whatsoever!! It didn't come back when I was finished, when I came home, after dinner, during the night, even in the morning. It came back a little during my morning busybody rush but now it's gone again. I'm so happy that I actually can feel adrenalin pumping because I am so excited.

Well, that's my mini breakthrough. I posted it because I just wanted to share my happiness and maybe somebody else here can relate to the self-inflicted pressures we put upon ourselves every day and also the difference of thinking logically vs. emotionally.

Take care,
Ines

 

I loved your analysis! And congratulations on fighting off your migraine!

 

Thank you TG957!

 

That's wonderful Ines!
Congrats on being so in tune to what your subC was doing that you stopped that migraine in its tracks!!!

 

Thank you Gigi! It stayed gone most of the day. I had some work stress that started to bring it back but the intensity is so much less than its been since the day after Christmas.

 

That's amazing. Great insight on your part

 

I am so glad you shared! It will help me when I need to think things through. Thanks for sharing this, Ines!

 

Congratulations! These kinds of successes mean so much on our recovery journey.

 

Hi, Ines. Thanks for telling about your success though exercise and dancing. I always loved to dance. I am Polish and German so my favorite dances are polkas and waltzes. But I also do my own "free form" dance at home, just moving around so my hands and legs are in motion. I dance at home to polkas and waltzes but also to Big Band. I have lot of CDs of all of that.

Keep dancing. Keep exercising. Keep happy. That's a winning combination for healing. Have a great Memorial Day weekend.

 

Thank you everyone! Just to update you, I have gone 3 Wednesdays in a row now. My brain is still trying to trick me though. In fact, after I parked this last Wednesday my lower back started to hurt and it's never hurt that way before. Silly brain. Have a good holiday weekend everybody!!