Wyndra
Newcomer
Hi everyone. I am 32 years old and I'm from Argentina.
I started with symptoms last year, on May, before a major trip. I was bedridden for a fortnight. I thought I had plantar fasciitis and sciatica (back, leg and feet pain). I have no idea how I managed to pack the suitcase and go. My first weeks were terrible, spent a lot of time in bed and had strange symptoms. Then, on the third week, the pain subsided.
After I came back, I suffered from sciatica symptoms every month. This January, my pain flared up once again and NEVER had a a day without pain ever since. Symptoms include migrating pain, especially in the sciatic nerve region (from lower back to both feet), but also in arms, hands, upper back, ribs, anywhere really. It changes all the time. I can have pain in one region and the next 10 minutes it's changed to something different. Sometimes it's a dull pain, sometimes it's needle-like, and sometimes it's a burning sensation.
So I went to the doctor. I had a full spine MRI, lab tests, neurologic tests and ecography + X-rays in both feet. Nothing showed up. I am """healthy""".
I also started yoga, and I try to meditate and make positive affirmations whenever I can.
Then I discovered "Healing Back Pain", and I thought: this is what I have, it is TMS. My pain bettered for a couple weeks and then came back. I have no idea why, I was so happy I was starting to think less about all this.
Yoga seemed nice at first, but now I don't know, since I always come back from practice with a lot of pain, which lasts days, and then I'll have another class. But ISN'T IT ALL PSYCHOLOGICAL? I keep doing it.
So I went to the rheumatologist to check for fibromyalgia (I had booked the assignment the month before), but the typical pressure points didn't hurt. So she said I have a "functional pain syndrome", a bit similar to fibromyalgia, and that I may or may not recover from it. She suggested more physical activity, psychotherapy and good sleep. She also prescribed 25mg of pregabaline every night (a very low dose), apart from the 75mg of benzodiazepine I was taking daily for anxiety (I don't know if my anxiety triggers the pain, if pain triggers anxiety, or both at the same time!).
My partner is getting very tired of my symptoms and I think it's ruining our relationship. I just can't be in the same mental state as before, and cannot do a lot of stuff I once did (like going dancing). I am unemployed, have no money, no income apart from what my partner makes and our country is in a big economic crisis, so finding a job is VERY hard right now. My family lives in another city and is not helping us in any way. I have no relatives here in Buenos Aires.
There are no TMS trained doctors here, nobody has heard of Sarno's theories and they just won't do it.
I have no idea what to do.
I envy everyone who is not in pain, or who is in temporary pain.
The idea that I might never recover from this despite of my efforts terrifies me as nothing had done.
I used to be such a strong, energetic, creative person. And I still am! I try to live a normal life, but who am i kidding, it's not the same as before, I think about this all the time. Pain is very efficient in destroying my will, as nothing else is.
I just want to live a life with less pain.
I only find suicide to be a viable solution. I think about this every day, and I'm going to tell my therapist because I really need help with it
Any tips?
I really don't know where and how to start!
I started with symptoms last year, on May, before a major trip. I was bedridden for a fortnight. I thought I had plantar fasciitis and sciatica (back, leg and feet pain). I have no idea how I managed to pack the suitcase and go. My first weeks were terrible, spent a lot of time in bed and had strange symptoms. Then, on the third week, the pain subsided.
After I came back, I suffered from sciatica symptoms every month. This January, my pain flared up once again and NEVER had a a day without pain ever since. Symptoms include migrating pain, especially in the sciatic nerve region (from lower back to both feet), but also in arms, hands, upper back, ribs, anywhere really. It changes all the time. I can have pain in one region and the next 10 minutes it's changed to something different. Sometimes it's a dull pain, sometimes it's needle-like, and sometimes it's a burning sensation.
So I went to the doctor. I had a full spine MRI, lab tests, neurologic tests and ecography + X-rays in both feet. Nothing showed up. I am """healthy""".
I also started yoga, and I try to meditate and make positive affirmations whenever I can.
Then I discovered "Healing Back Pain", and I thought: this is what I have, it is TMS. My pain bettered for a couple weeks and then came back. I have no idea why, I was so happy I was starting to think less about all this.
Yoga seemed nice at first, but now I don't know, since I always come back from practice with a lot of pain, which lasts days, and then I'll have another class. But ISN'T IT ALL PSYCHOLOGICAL? I keep doing it.
So I went to the rheumatologist to check for fibromyalgia (I had booked the assignment the month before), but the typical pressure points didn't hurt. So she said I have a "functional pain syndrome", a bit similar to fibromyalgia, and that I may or may not recover from it. She suggested more physical activity, psychotherapy and good sleep. She also prescribed 25mg of pregabaline every night (a very low dose), apart from the 75mg of benzodiazepine I was taking daily for anxiety (I don't know if my anxiety triggers the pain, if pain triggers anxiety, or both at the same time!).
My partner is getting very tired of my symptoms and I think it's ruining our relationship. I just can't be in the same mental state as before, and cannot do a lot of stuff I once did (like going dancing). I am unemployed, have no money, no income apart from what my partner makes and our country is in a big economic crisis, so finding a job is VERY hard right now. My family lives in another city and is not helping us in any way. I have no relatives here in Buenos Aires.
There are no TMS trained doctors here, nobody has heard of Sarno's theories and they just won't do it.
I have no idea what to do.
I envy everyone who is not in pain, or who is in temporary pain.
The idea that I might never recover from this despite of my efforts terrifies me as nothing had done.
I used to be such a strong, energetic, creative person. And I still am! I try to live a normal life, but who am i kidding, it's not the same as before, I think about this all the time. Pain is very efficient in destroying my will, as nothing else is.
I just want to live a life with less pain.
I only find suicide to be a viable solution. I think about this every day, and I'm going to tell my therapist because I really need help with it
Any tips?
I really don't know where and how to start!
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