Migraine with Aura

[Mr Hip Guy]

So I know that migraines are a TMS equivalent, and I have had migraines in my past, but they were few and far between. Usually they manifested in a vague sensitivity to light and mild headaches, with laying down and sequestering myself for a short time resolving them.

However over the last couple of months I've started to manifest "aura migraines" and they also started to increase in frequency. The first one, back in late September honestly freaked me out as I had a distinct blindspot in the center of my vision and I didn't know what was happening. I thought I was going blind, had a detached retina, etc. Fortunately, over the space of 20min, the center blindspot shifted to the side and the tell-tale aura-migraine "shimmering squiggly lines" became clearly apparent. Google search revealed I had just had my first aura-migraine. Fortunately I never really had the typical headache afterward, I just felt tired and run down.

As a TMS veteran, I was obviously on super HIGH ALERT for what my subconscious might have done to trigger this but couldn't pinpoint anything and set it aside as just a random thing (both of my older brothers confirm they get these aura migraines 3-6 times a year and that they started roughly around my current age).

About 40 days after that first one, and 12 days ago, I had another. Exact same experience, but this time without the freaking out of course. I was actually a little amused by this one and even more curious to find the TMS connection.

Since that one 12 days ago I have now had 3 more, with the last 2 this morning and yesterday morning. This one this morning actually happened away from home (a first) and while grocery shopping. After the initial 15-20min of "blindness" (which I try not to freak out about), I remain sorta cross-eyed or at least light sensitive for a few hours - in particular looking at computer monitors (like I do working) is not fun. I also feel a little nausea and mild head pain too (which I offset by immediately taking some tylenol).

While I know these have to be TMS related, I'm not real sure what to do about them when they start happening - I just ride them out now. But the fact they are increasing in frequency is a concern. I did notice the past 2 mornings that I am pretty sure these are getting triggered by bright light, specifically the flares that occur when the sun hits a shiny part of a car and flashes into my eyes.

So I'm writing this as a bit of self-therapy (it always helps spelling things out like this) but also in case anyone else has experience with these too.

Any thoughts?

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Given your fairly recent successes, @Mr Hip Guy, this sure seems like it could be a fascinating example of the symptom imperative, "suggested" by your subconscious awareness that your brothers get these symptoms.

My recommendation? This is when I will eventually give in to the necessity of grabbing a comfortable pen and some pieces of lined paper, and writing shit down.

The key to effective expressive writing (Dr Hanscom's term) or JournalSpeak (Nicole Sachs) is to get your random thoughts onto the paper, without any editing, nor any pausing to consider how to say something.

Ethan Kross, in his wonderful book Chatter (my library had it, then I bought it) says that talking to yourself in the third person is very effective, and I agree.

I usually start by literally writing down some questions, like OK, what the fuck is going on? What is secretly bugging you? What's eating away at you somewhere? And I just see what comes into my head, and I write it ALL down, no matter how trivial it seems. Sometimes it's the smallest most trivial thing that your brain decided was dangerous because of your response, so it went into full repression mode.

It's crazy how I'll put off doing this until I'm fairly desperate (of course I do - that's my brain on TMS) because it always works.

 

[Clover]

I have had ocular migraines twice in the past few years. The first one scared me so much - I had no clue what it was- I went to the eye dr who called it an ocular migraine. No headache afterwards either time. At the times these had happened, I was not working with my symptoms as TMS - I was just dealing with things. This brings some comfort to know that these kinds of migraines are also TMS. Very good journaling advice from Jan above. Yesterday I listened to a Nicole Sachs podcast and she spoke on journaling and recommended writing for at least 20 minutes because sometimes it takes a while to get to the good stuff - those are my words lol. You may be writing about the things you think are causing the symptoms but it’s the stuff that comes out in the end that is really causing the symptoms- that’s when you get to the feelings. Anyway. I would journal as well. Probably a few times and see what comes up. A lot of times I tend to think deeply when I am in the shower, so
I will quietly talk aloud to myself as if I was journaling. That helps me as well. @JanAtheCPA - thanks for validating that I am not crazy talking to myself in the shower lol.

 

[Mr Hip Guy]

@JanAtheCPA I read this yesterday but took some time to let it sink in and give it thought.

You're absolutely right to suggest the journaling and very insightful with your point about my subconscious trying to steer me away from that (it truly has - "oh it's not that bad" or "you've already journaled everything" etc). But I forced myself to do some journaling (just scribbling on a sheet of paper, I doubt anyone else could even read it!), and wow I immediately felt some relief. So simple, but so hard to implement.

I also took your recommendation and ordered the Ethan Kross book from my library. I have a very vicious and negative self-critic and I think I could use some help in how I self-talk.

P.S. I realized after this post that I had already posted about my aura-migraines in someone else's success-stories thread - I'm losing it!

 

[Mr Hip Guy]

I will quietly talk aloud to myself as if I was journaling. That helps me as well. @JanAtheCPA - thanks for validating that I am not crazy talking to myself in the shower lol.

Thanks for posting with your experience. To your point above, I like to occasionally talk to myself while alone in my car driving.

I think I've realized that having one of these occur is one thing, but to have them ramp up and occur so frequently is a sign that my subconscious thinks it's got a "good one" to use on me. Time to derail that train!

 

[Clover]

Thanks for posting with your experience. To your point above, I like to occasionally talk to myself while alone in my car driving.

I think I've realized that having one of these occur is one thing, but to have them ramp up and occur so frequently is a sign that my subconscious thinks it's got a "good one" to use on me. Time to derail that train!

Yes - I think that is exactly it. Your brain knows this one will work on you. No more. Feel the feelings and it will disappear. You got this.

 

[Mr Hip Guy]

I got another one of these over the weekend, again triggered by a light flash, but of course my mindset and response was far more casual and not bothered. I even used the technique (I think yours @Clover ?) of laughing at the migraine and even doing jumping jacks etc. Of course it worked, the aura passed over my vision in 15-20min like it always does but I was perfectly fine afterwards (i.e. no headache bad feeling etc).

 

[Mr Hip Guy]

Oh, also, incidentally - I ran into a colleague recently and he made a comment about how he doesn't run/cycle/exercise anymore because he found "physical stress was a trigger." I asked "a trigger for what?" and he responded with Migraines. So of course I had to ask about what kind of migraines etc. The poor guy is my age, and has been dealing with them for 15 years - is on a daily medication prescribed specifically for them, and has "Nurtec" in his pocket at all times for emergency use - and talked about how when he gets them (not necessarily aura but other types), it cripples him for basically the rest of the day, or at the very least a few hours where he has to lie down in a dark area to recover. He also has doctor-prescribed tinted windows in his vehicle to offset the chance of light-flashes triggering. So no exercising and all of these life-changing precautions instead.

As I usually do, I gently mentioned the possibilities of stress/worry/fear being a common migraine trigger and of course - you see where this is going - he aggressively responded with how that wasn't possible for him. See, he had an MRI 15 years ago for some other injury and they found a cist in his brain - the doctor told him that cist and its specific location was the cause of his migraines but he thought it would be too risky to operate (don't blame him on that!)

Anyway, it's sad to see a real-world and personal example of how these things can be so life impacting in such a negative way.

 

[Clover]

I got another one of these over the weekend, again triggered by a light flash, but of course my mindset and response was far more casual and not bothered. I even used the technique (I think yours @Clover ?) of laughing at the migraine and even doing jumping jacks etc. Of course it worked, the aura passed over my vision in 15-20min like it always does but I was perfectly fine afterwards (i.e. no headache bad feeling etc).

I don’t know if I had suggested the laughing or not, but coincidentally last week, I was reading an old post on here and it also mentioned the importance of laughing and Norman Cousin’s book (which I had read in the past) and how he used laughter primarily to heal himself of a chronic condition. So YES to laughter! Funny how I (probably we all) need to be reminded to laugh. We live too seriously. Glad that your migraine passed relatively quickly and without a headache. That is the exact kind I will get, and it is calming to know I am not the only one who gets that kind. The people I know who have the aura will also get the headache. I tend not to too.

Oh, also, incidentally - I ran into a colleague recently and he made a comment about how he doesn't run/cycle/exercise anymore because he found "physical stress was a trigger." I asked "a trigger for what?" and he responded with Migraines. So of course I had to ask about what kind of migraines etc. The poor guy is my age, and has been dealing with them for 15 years - is on a daily medication prescribed specifically for them, and has "Nurtec" in his pocket at all times for emergency use - and talked about how when he gets them (not necessarily aura but other types), it cripples him for basically the rest of the day, or at the very least a few hours where he has to lie down in a dark area to recover. He also has doctor-prescribed tinted windows in his vehicle to offset the chance of light-flashes triggering. So no exercising and all of these life-changing precautions instead.

As I usually do, I gently mentioned the possibilities of stress/worry/fear being a common migraine trigger and of course - you see where this is going - he aggressively responded with how that wasn't possible for him. See, he had an MRI 15 years ago for some other injury and they found a cist in his brain - the doctor told him that cist and its specific location was the cause of his migraines but he thought it would be too risky to operate (don't blame him on that!)

Anyway, it's sad to see a real-world and personal example of how these things can be so life impacting in such a negative way.

This is a shame because it is well said migraines are related to stress - at minimum- and definitely mind body medicine. Of course they are terrible, and when you are in that much pain you want it to stop- my grandmother used to have to lay down in a dark room for hours, she had the traditional kind. I can’t imagine that pain because I have a hard enough time with tension headaches. So I am thankful there is medicine when the pain is that bad. But that’s where people tend to stop. The medicine helps you function but it does not solve the issue. And I know a lot of people who see the medicine as the solution and not a temporary bandaid so you can work on the problem. Gently mentioning, as you did, is really all you can do. Most of the time, the beliefs are engrained and they have no interest in seeing things differently. However, by being the example, you just may inspire someone else some day.

 

[JaneSandyJane]

I don’t know if I had suggested the laughing or not, but coincidentally last week, I was reading an old post on here and it also mentioned the importance of laughing and Norman Cousin’s book (which I had read in the past) and how he used laughter primarily to heal himself of a chronic condition. So YES to laughter! Funny how I (probably we all) need to be reminded to laugh. We live too seriously. Glad that your migraine passed relatively quickly and without a headache. That is the exact kind I will get, and it is calming to know I am not the only one who gets that kind. The people I know who have the aura will also get the headache. I tend not to too.



This is a shame because it is well said migraines are related to stress - at minimum- and definitely mind body medicine. Of course they are terrible, and when you are in that much pain you want it to stop- my grandmother used to have to lay down in a dark room for hours, she had the traditional kind. I can’t imagine that pain because I have a hard enough time with tension headaches. So I am thankful there is medicine when the pain is that bad. But that’s where people tend to stop. The medicine helps you function but it does not solve the issue. And I know a lot of people who see the medicine as the solution and not a temporary bandaid so you can work on the problem. Gently mentioning, as you did, is really all you can do. Most of the time, the beliefs are engrained and they have no interest in seeing things differently. However, by being the example, you just may inspire someone else some day.

Oh, also, incidentally - I ran into a colleague recently and he made a comment about how he doesn't run/cycle/exercise anymore because he found "physical stress was a trigger." I asked "a trigger for what?" and he responded with Migraines. So of course I had to ask about what kind of migraines etc. The poor guy is my age, and has been dealing with them for 15 years - is on a daily medication prescribed specifically for them, and has "Nurtec" in his pocket at all times for emergency use - and talked about how when he gets them (not necessarily aura but other types), it cripples him for basically the rest of the day, or at the very least a few hours where he has to lie down in a dark area to recover. He also has doctor-prescribed tinted windows in his vehicle to offset the chance of light-flashes triggering. So no exercising and all of these life-changing precautions instead.

As I usually do, I gently mentioned the possibilities of stress/worry/fear being a common migraine trigger and of course - you see where this is going - he aggressively responded with how that wasn't possible for him. See, he had an MRI 15 years ago for some other injury and they found a cist in his brain - the doctor told him that cist and its specific location was the cause of his migraines but he thought it would be too risky to operate (don't blame him on that!)

Anyway, it's sad to see a real-world and personal example of how these things can be so life impacting in such a negative way.

My doc, Laurel Steinberg, calls this "exertion headache" and taught me how to prevent migraine which has fully restored my quality of life. I feel fabulous. Incidentally, my MRI showed a pineal cyst and she explained to me that many doctors will point out this type of cyst and b/c they don't know how to prevent migraine, they say that the cyst is responsible. Well, I'm now symptom free for a very long time, cyst is unchanged (I had to have a scan of my head when I bumped it in a taxi when visiting my sister and they measured it again, unchanged). IT WASN'T THE CYST!!!
Was that the type of cyst he had? I believe there is a gland with that name "pineal gland."
I hope everyone gets well soon!! Sending good prayers!!