Hello my fellow TMSers, it's been a while! I wanted to update you all and also get some advice from our TMS experts/support team. Warning: long We are nearly into 2023 and time keeps ticking away, with many changes that are comfortable and some not so comfortable. Here is my update and things I have been doing since I kicked TMS ass - well mostly. Have changed jobs three times in the last 18 months, and finally found the right job, although it is sometimes stressful (as all jobs are) Have 4 grandchildren Youngest daughter getting married next year Celebrated 30 years of marriage last August Keep up with 13 gardens every year, including vegetable gardens Do regular exercise, including aerobic exercise Heavy duty housecleaning (windows, cleaning out closets, fridge, etc.) Hiked a number of trails this and last year that I never would have five years ago, (longest was over 10 miles) and took a trip across the country to see my parents My parents are moving back to our home state (mother dying of pulmonary fibrosis and wants to be near family) Had Lentigo Melanoma and had to have it excised, which took 14 stitches (thankfully, it is a localized cancer and doesn't spread) Biggest of all, dealing with post menopause at 50 years old So, as you can see I am active but I do have stressors that have wreaked some havoc in my life. Now for the pain part, which I KNOW is TMS, hence why I wanted to get some advice. Although my arm and shoulder pain was doing great for a few years, the pain has come back more now that my job consists of being on the computer all day - not writing, but being a marketing account manager with 23 clients who I have to do reports, billing, presentations, and websites edits for, all while playing quarterback with many different teams to get things done. I also have been struggling more with IBS. Now, I'm not afraid of these conditions because I know they're TMS, but I'm also post menopausal at what I consider to be a young age. So, I have a two-part question: the first is, even though I know this is TMS and stress exacerbates it, how do I deal with the fact that I have all these symptoms that correlate strongly with menopause, (horrible vag. itch, night sweats, mood swings, restless legs, and some hot flashes) and taking HRT (in the form of creams) with the rage of getting older? My second question is, how do I deal with my parents moving back here, knowing that us siblings will have to care for them, even though we work full time and also have in-laws (my MIL is also dying from Alzheimer's) to care for as well? Trying to deal with my own symptoms and also having to watch my own parents die is something I DON'T want to do, yet, I have no choice. It also doesn't help that we will probably have to supplement their social security and my husband feels conflicted, as we are trying to get out of debt ourselves (ALL debt), so we don't end up like them. (bad financial situation) It's gotten almost obsessive to pay off the house since both of our cars are paid off. Now, I have been through this program several times over the last 7 years and mind/body work previously for 3 years. I don't have time to do this all over again, but I am reading The Mindbody Prescription again and did just finish Defying the Verdict from our own TMSer Tamara Gurin, which has given me insight and hope. Thank you, Tamara, for writing it! I KNOW I can kick this as I have done everything else, but these last two issues (IBS & shoulder, arm pain and cold sensitivity) are the hardest to overcome. I did do hypnotherapy for 3 months, which helped to tap into my emotions and release more trauma, but alas, it didn't quite do the trick. I do know that I started with some of my crutches again (cream, heating pad, medication, diet restrictions,) so I can get through my work day, but know that needs to stop, so my brain doesn't interpret it as something dangerous and therefore I need protection. I guess I'm looking for some encouragement and if those who have gone through the nasty menopause and have some helpful advice to give me, I would be more than grateful. I feel too young to feel like I'm losing my womanhood. Anyway ... I know this was long, but had to get it all out, in hopes of receiving some wisdom that may help me get past this hurdle. TIA.