Hello, While I am new to the forum, I have read Dr. Sarno's books in the past and also read The Great Pain Deception. I was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis about seven years ago. I've been to dozens of doctors, chiropractors, massage therapists, etc., all with temporary results at best and often zero results. Working with Dr. Sarno's ideas did provide some relief in the past, but I found it easy to get sucked back into the grind of daily life and to believe my pain is some structural issue that needs to be structurally fixed. I have also been a personal trainer for 15 years. I am very attuned to the way the body moves and functions physically, so I tend to very quickly notice any loss of range of motion or mobility in the way I exercise and move. While I do think it is necessary to address the physical body to maintain optimum range of motion and function, I feel that being attuned to it causes me anxiety any time I notice muscles or joints becoming restricted and that the anxiety is what leads to heightened awareness of the stiffness and then leads to pain and constantly trying to address these things physically while ignoring the mind's role in identifying and causing pain. I found this forum last night and looked at the Structerd Educacation Program and am excited to start this journey with a more specific way of tackling it. My biggest concern is meditation. I have been a very physically active individual since childhood. My inability to sit still for long in school resulted in constant problems with teachers. From 2nd grade until 8th grade, I was being sent out in the hall to sit alone with my desk, taken outside and paddled and yelled at that I better learn to sit still and be quiet, or sent to principals office for the stern lecture on how much of a problem I was and then paddled and sent back to class with nothing more than "you better learn to sit still and be quiet or your going to have nothing but problems". In 8th grade, I feel the teachers and so called educators finally broke my spirits. I became withdrawn and quiet externally, while I constantly raged internally. Very few problems in class in high school, but I got into alcohol and drugs to numb myself which led to several addictions that I became quiet good at hiding and denying. I have past the substance addiction stage and am drug and alcohol free for years now, but the tension and anxiety remains and seems to be its own psychological addiction. Well, I still can't sit still for long, especially meditating. I've literally had near psychotic episodes when I try to make myself sit still. I developed chronic fatigue as an adult and I believe a large part of this was my subconscious trying to comply with both society's and my personal command that I better learn to sit still and be quiet. I wanted to know if others here have simply failed to do well with meditation and what alternatives you have tried or methods to be able to handle meditation better. When my pain levels are low, I run. Running seems to be the closest thing I can find to reaching that "peace" that other people swear they get when meditating. In order to run, the breath must be practiced and controlled, and the physical act of running allows my body to use its high drive to move a lot in a way that is relaxing to me. I can literally go months without running and then take off and run 5+ miles like I never took any time off running and have great pain reduction for at least a couple of days. I've wondered, is running and other forms of rythmic exercise/movement essentially active meditation? Has anyone else used some form of a more active meditation with success in this Structured Education Program? I know my tendency toward perfectionism will make me question my ability to succeed with the program if I don't follow it to a T.