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Managing Severe Pain at Night

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Angel1975, Nov 2, 2019.

  1. Angel1975

    Angel1975 New Member

    Hi everyone. I’m in need of some advice please. Since 2014 I have suffered with sever, chronic pain in my lower abdomen. Started mid abdomen and moved to above left hip after a few months. Spreads across whole pelvis, up left ribs and down both thighs. No causes found by Drs. It progressed to chronic fatigue, sensory impairment and an eventual diagnosis of ibs and fibromyalgia in 2016.

    I got all Fibro symptoms under control and the pain under some control in Sept 2018 by using the amazing pain programme here on TMS Wiki and just had mild pain every two or three weeks for a couple of days.

    In the last 9 days, I have regressed and am now in severe pain again every day, but it’s waking me between 2-4am and its impossible to go back to sleep. No sign of the fibro yet.

    It may be a coincidence but I am also reading The Great Pain Deception and have finished The MindBody Prescription before that.

    I know I need to distract myself, not focus on the pain and avoid anything that acknowledges the pain (I get some relief from a hot water bottle but am trying not to use that so I don’t reinforce it).

    The loneliness of severe pain in the early hours is indescribable, and I fear I am forming some kind of loop....pain, fear, loneliness, pain etc exacerbated by increasing exhaustion.

    Can anyone advise on the best way to manage this night time pain in a way that supports resolving TMS?

    Thank you.
  2. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Or maybe the loneliness is what the pain is trying to distract you from? Loneliness is also rage inducing....all those Disney movie's I watched growing up told me I'd be married and like the Brady Bunch by now but I am an old man living alone.... There's several pages of anger right there.

    Not always. True, there are times when giving it attention is giving in BUT Sarno stressed that the fastest way to break the conditioning was to turn our thoughts to an unsavory topic (Like being Lonely?). This is NOT always fun.... so sometimes when a symptom gets my attention I get angry at it like "Oh.... so you want my attention Bee-otch?" . Then I have a full-on 5 year old temper tantrum....Raging at any Guessed trigger and telling the pain to F-off.... with no censor (I can swear to an almost artistic level).
    That has aborted many relapses. This is especially hard to do when a symptom appears at night when we are supposed to be winding down, but more than a few times when writing and reflecting on my current rage-stressors is insufficient, it has stopped an attack. Maybe not the best advice if your new to this, BUT if you are as impatient as me, It did help.

    ...and keep reading. Ultimately it's when that information gets down there that the symptom gives up.... and none of us knows what REALLY goes on down there...just that this works.

    HattieNC and JanAtheCPA like this.
  3. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Damn, @Baseball65 did it again. I was also immediately struck by the word Lonely in your post. Everything BB had to say about that is what I would have said. I will only add that Isolation, and its cousin Abandonment, are HUGE underlying sources of rage and deep loss.

    The current state of world affairs is also, I believe, contributing to a surge in what Dr Sarno already thought was an epidemic of mind-body disorders when he was still with us. We don't discuss those issues here, but we must acknowledge them as another source of rage and deep fear about our very survival.

    You might benefit from listening to two recent episodes of The Mind And Fitness Podcast: #85 with Dr Howard Schubiner, and #95 with Dr David Clarke.

    Also, please let me know (by PC if you prefer) if you'd like to to change your name to something without the negativity. I always recommend avoiding emotional references entirely, and going with something that makes it relatively easy (and pleasant) to use your name in a response. We can easily make that change for someone who doesn't yet have much content.
  4. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Great to read BB and and Jan's response.

    Also, I want to encourage you that "relapse" is not a failure, but a natural part of the process.

    If you can hold your current pain as normal, nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be "fixed" as much as possible, this will probably be helpful. It is "normal" because you are subject to TMS. It is normal because there are "difficult to acknowledge feelings." Think psychologically, knowing there is nothing to solve or fix.
    Sooth yourself with some things which are pleasurable, create safety --talking to a friend regularly, sensual explorations, listening to music, meditation.

    Also choose a TMS practice which appeals to you, such as journaling about loneliness, or sensing into it, or other practice (there is no silver bullet here), stick with it for awhile, and attune to yourself.

    You might redo the SEP as a form of self exploration, or use Dr. Schubiner's Unlearn Your Pain as your support for now.

    Fear about things worsening, fear that you're doing it wrong, desperation that there is a better way --all increase your stress about this.

  5. Angel1975

    Angel1975 New Member

    Thank you so much for taking the time to come back to me on this.

    Reading your responses and my original post with the benefit of a few days to reflect, it does seem that loneliness is a fear and that I need to do some work on that. I have become quite isolated due to my pain - had to give up my job three years ago and now work at home due to the unpredictable nature of my health.

    I have gotten quite good at getting angry at the pain and I am not averse to swearing at it, and throwing a (very quiet) tantrum in the dead of night - but it doesn't tend to reduce the intensity. Distraction does work, but it is hard to distract yourself when you are so tired.

    I had a very strange experience this morning - dreamt vividly that I was heavily pregnant and could feel the baby moving and when I woke up, the pain was entirely focussed in the centre of my abdomen. Hardly any pain at all in the spot above my left hip where it has been, reliably, for the last 5 years! It has never moved before so this has really reinforced my belief that I have TMS.

    Thank you for your advice - it's so wonderful to feel there are others who understand.
    HattieNC likes this.

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