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"Man Area" Pain Back Again

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by GTfan, Jun 18, 2020.

  1. GTfan

    GTfan Well known member

    Hey guys,

    I've been in and out of here over the years. The discovery of TMS really saved me a few years back when I got hit HARD by chronic groin pain and couldn't shake it. The doctors were about to give up and remove my epididymis due to unsolvable "chronic epididymitis" when I stumbled upon TMS and Sarno as a last resort.

    Since then it's been quite a journey with TMS symptoms coming and going all over the body. I've learned to really build my confidence and not be as much of a people pleaser or let people take advantage of me. And I'm really proud of how far I've come overcoming my lack of social skills and confidence around women and other people in general.

    But here we are again, a TMS relapse. It has to be at least. I've been here SOOOO many times before with a new obsessive feeling or pain that I can't stop fixating on and swearing I might have cancer or need to see the doctor right away. The obsessive feeling in my mind is all too familiar TMS.

    So I'm on a work trip for two weeks in California. Me and my coworker decided to cut out and go to Vegas for our off day. I got way too drunk, blacked out. I hate that feeling but it's happened to me so many times in my life. I'd say I have a long history with drinking way too much and doing regrettable things (most of the time not remembering anything).

    But anyways I was doing much better recently. I was in a relationship for about 6 months last year and during that time I had absolutely no issue with alcohol. But now that I'm single again (I broke up with her), it seems like I'm more prone to the black outs again. I think the trigger point is being in social situations without a significant other and if things aren't going my way or I revert back to my insecure childhood then I start hitting the shots and boom it's lights out

    Anyways, over the weekend I drank WAY too much. Me and my coworker were kinda on a mission to find some females to spend the night with and both came up empty handed. I went back to work on Monday just feeling that terrible (about to be a 2 day hangover) feeling and just general depression and shame over how drunk I got and I'm sure there was some insecurities of not being able to "score" and all that stuff.

    So yeah, as I'm urinating on Monday I feel a slight twinge in my genitals. (Not in usually spot that I'm used to during my bad initial spell but more in the central area if you know what I mean). It caught my attention, and as we got to Tuesday I started fixating on this tickling (almost like an itch) twinge every time I urinated. Then it got to the obsessive stage where I started thinking about it constantly as I walked, moved, sat, etc. And it was getting worse, sometimes I felt a sharp pain and sometimes it was just a dull tingle.

    If I put my finger on the bottom of my penis and follow it down toward my prostate area then I feel like I can pin point exactly the source of the pain. Of course this puts my brain to "Oh my God it's a cyst or worse a tumor. What if I have uretha cancer or prostate cancer?"

    But anyways that's where I'm at today. The pain seems to be getting gradually more worse but also my fear and anxiety is also getting worse. If I focus on something else then I don't notice the twinge really. But I still always feel it when I urinate. I'm 90 percent sure it's TMS, but I guess I just came here to get it all out there and get some encouragement and reassurance. Thanks guys.
  2. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Me. How am I doing today? LOLOL

    It's so funny finding little bits of myself all over this forum.

    I too had chronic epididymitis. It all started after I was in a RAGE that I had bothered to get a vasectomy just a few weeks before my marriage was effectively over. I never once considered it might be TMS until too late and had the epididymectomy. Don't do it ! It was 100% TMS.

    In retrospect, it was all tied into my rage about my marriage, women in general, but especially the fact that: to prove a point I did not sleep with/date anybody until my long slow divorce was over, even though my ex was NOT observing the same detente. ALSO I had developed a horrible Roxy and Bourbon habit and spent a lot of time in Nowhere land.

    Hello! Pain in the reproductive area after failing to reproduce? So freaking Freudian and basic I am almost embarrassed for myself.

    TMS not withstanding, The alcohol story by itself might need some addressing. When I was drinking again (I had a 3 year relapse) most of my TMS symptoms went away... because I had so much drama in my life I didn't really need a distraction. I might also add, I went from Johnny-bitchin' in my own pad and being single, to being homeless and drinking and scoring dope round the clock.... You MIGHT want to look at that a little closer. Straining a gnat and swallowing a camel?

    I am not a normal drinker However, I have spoken to lots of them and they have told me they don't regularly black out.

    One of the young men I work with is TMS savvy and his prime symptom is mystery testicle pain. Him and I spoke about it and started noticing it always came right after some sort of anger about his relational life. He's gone to the Dr. several times and always gets a big fat negative... but the pain has been so bad he can't come to work sometimes.... what's really painful is the drama of his relationships and the ball pain is just there to protect him from feeling it.

    None the less, cause there IS occasionally something, I would recommend seeing someone unless you have had the identical symptom before and are sure it's TMS.... to rule out any weird stuff. Who knows? Maybe some Gal kicked you in the Nads while you were drunk??? (LOL)

    I wish I had 'caught' that one and didn't have that expensive, painful operation.... I did catch my gall bladder and a few others, so more and more we are learning that a lot of these surgical procedures are actually just placebo's. None the less, sounds like y'all might have some inspection to do???? I scanned some of your older posts and you are obviously in a lot more 'pain' about this then your recalling right now...

    hang in there (pun intended)
    jimmylaw9 and plum like this.
  3. GTfan

    GTfan Well known member

    Yeah man it's funny how all these TMS symptoms are common with a lot of different people. We are all akin to the same habits it seems. Seems like you went through the ringer, no wonder you were in pain. Chronic epidytmytis seems to be fairly common and a lot people go through some shit that you did, I came very close myself.

    Yeah for me I think I just really need to come to peace with whatever insecurities, self pity, inner rage issues I have. I would like to get the problem drinking under control too, blacking out is not ok. Like you said I could have injured myself while I was drunk and I have no idea lol.

    I think I'm fine, I'm just gonna try to do some more meditating, deep breathing, focus on my breath, and try to acknowledge the inner rage and how I'm feeling.

    I've got some kind of sharp general groin pain at the moment coupled with TMJ that is my most consistent TMS symptom. When the groin pain goes away or I forget about it then the jaw pain starts cranking up and overtaking. TMS is like clockwork, but I've got it's number. I've read this book before and I'll get through this spell.
  4. GTfan

    GTfan Well known member

    Hey guy:

    Well here I am a month later. So basically what happened was, the pain I was feeling gradually went away when I stopped worrying about it. To go back to the Freudian stuff, I actually spent the night and had sex with a girl I know when I got back from the West Coast. The groin pain pretty much went away almost immediately after this. Funny huh.

    From there on out that was pretty much all I needed to know that it had to be a pyschosomatic driven issue. Over the next month, I felt a twinge there every now and then, but I never really fixated or got worried about it so it just came and went and what not, never really getting too intense.

    Well now this week, it has come back with a vengeance. I had another kinda wild drinking weekend. I know this is something I need to do better at. I didn't necessarily black out or do anything dumb. I just went out with friends and did some heavy drinking and partying pretty much the whole weekend and my body was really feeling the pain come Monday morning lol.

    So anyways, I have a work trip in West Virginia this week (first trip since my West Coast trip where this symptom started, related possibly?). And Monday as I'm flying, I start to feel the twing in the area of my uretha/perenium/ prostate (not really sure exactly). I don't know why but for some reason instead of coming and going like it has been doing of the last few weeks, it starts gradually getting worse and I'm starting to fixate and worry again.

    Last night the pain turned to a sharp, burning pain in the area that was constant. And the funny thing is if I'm laying in bed trying to relax it seems to hurt worse than if I'm up working or walking around (TMS has done this to me before).

    And my head is racing again, worrying that I have some kind of cyst or tumor somewhere in that area. But how would that be possible if I had pretty much no issues for a months now all of a sudden as soon as take a work trip I'm in intense pain again?

    I need to keep reasurring myself that it's TMS and I don't have cancer. It seems to be driven by my tension held in the body. I know I haven't "reproduced" pretty since the girl who "got me out of the symptom" last time. Maybe it's picking back up again due to my lack of reproducing. And I know I need to get my drinking under control. It's not healthy to be getting wasted every weekend to the point that I don't feel fully recovered until Tuesday or Wednesday. I'm not 21 anymore, I'm 30 and I should start acting like it. I'd like to settle down and find a girl to date and all that stuff. So I'm almost certain these symptoms as well as the drinking are because of these probably pretty intense rage that I am surpressing and not feeling.

    So anyways, I guess I'm just venting. My mind keeps telling I need to just lay in bed and feel sorry for myself and focus on the pain and worry about what could be physically wrong with me.
  5. jamejamesjames1

    jamejamesjames1 Peer Supporter

    Hi GTfan. Take everything I say with a grain of salt because I am currently dealing with CPPS symptoms. I had it five years ago for about 18 months. Have had a few "flare ups" during stress in between there for a few days or weeks at a time but never that bad. Currently on month four of a pretty savage rebound.

    Anyway... because I am obsessed with getting out of pain and desperate to see what other CPPS sufferers do to help themselves, I went looking through your posting history. It is likely way easier for someone from the outside to do this, but you have a very specific pattern. This is great news! It seems like every 6 months - 1 year you get a flare. You ALWAYS get out of it rather quickly (I'm jealous), you ALWAYS report it's when you stop fearing it and let it go, and it ALWAYS starts relative to women.

    I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. You have a very obvious trigger which you can hone in on and explore. Even when you do flare you know exactly how to get rid of it and can do it very quickly.

    This time is no different, you got this!
  6. GTfan

    GTfan Well known member

    Lol that's funny, I didn't even realize that. Sometimes it's better to get an outside perspective. And 6 months to a year is about the cycle of my relationships it seems lol.

    Yeah my mind loves to latch onto my groin for issues. I've had the usual groin pain, I've had weird ingrown hairs that hurt like hell, I got a bad staph infection absess one time that I had to take antibiotics for, and now this one that is slightly different but not really. Its most definitely the sharp, burning nerve pain that I have felt before that always turns out to be TMS. I've come to find out that basically anywhere on your body that you have nerves, your brain can cause pain there as a distraction.

    Yesterday I went and just hit a killer leg workout, and of course no pain at all while I'm working out. This really got the "No Fear" "Nothing is wrong with me" mindset going. And if course I get back to my hotel to lay down and the pain starts amping up again. But this time I caught it moving around and changing. It went from the sharp pain to the dull aching pain in my perenium area. So I've obviously got it on the run.

    My mindset is back to the good side so I'm sure it's only a matter of time before it's gone again. I just wish I could get to the bottom of this so I could get out of this cycle that you have helped me identify.

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