I forgot to consider this question in the Structured Education Program, and today was an opportunity to do so. While trying to update my website this afternoon, I inadvertently deleted all of the customizations a tech wiz friend had made in the past year to my page. What was resulted was what I considered to be a milder version of a total freak-out compared to my reactions in the past. I though I was handling the situation much better than I have in the past, but was reminded by Hubby that I still have a lot of work to do. Although I didn't see myself panicking as much as I used to, he still thought I still could work on calming myself down. When hubby mentioned that, I could feel the dialogue running in my head. "Oh my GOD, how could I be so stupid," all sorts of catastrophizing, throwing intense judgments on myself, feeling tense and revved up. My inner perfectionist was in hyper drive. I've never faced mistakes easily, but have made big strides in this area. I still tend to hit the "fight or flight" habitual response, so I know this is an area that needs some work. As I am typing this, I'm being mindful of the words I want to take out of my vocabulary - "should," "need." A lot of my responses to mistakes have always been like this. The "fight or flight" response, the need to stay in control. I suppose a lot of it has to do with trauma, but now that I know this, I can work on getting a better handle on it. One day at a time, using mindfulness, breathing, centering.