So here it is, extremely stressful time and last night my low back seized up. I can hardly walk. Can't bend down to pick up the cats' dishes to feed them. Can't pick up anything I drop. I had to take pain med to sleep last night. This hasn't happened for a long time. But then I am finishing week 4 wearing a cardiac monitor and have to wait to hear if I need a pacemaker or not; I have serious left shoulder pain and can hardly move my shoulder. My entire family has been in the ER in the past week - sister and brother in law for the flu. Nephew for back pain yesterday. He can hardly walk. Sister is home on oxygen but getting better. I have been worried about all of them and have been running errands and cooking a few meals for them. I cannot take anymore. I am once again stuck in the house - I cannot drive like this. My brother in law is better and is the only one standing right now...literally. I was so proud of myself yesterday because I went to a yoga class...SilverSneakers level and got thru it. But there was one move I usually avoid for my back - never thought about it yesterday but I started to hurt so much last night...#10. Please someone, when u wake up, get back to me. I can hardly breathe with this pain. So discouraged and afraid again.
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Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
Good Morning Timbercat,
wow--what a lot of caring for others you are doing! I am helping my husband who is recovering from surgery--the worrying for our loved ones can be so brutal. The weight of it can seem like too much to bear.... It is helping me to find time to breathe--- and focus only on breathing for 20 minutes or so. The online meditations help me too. I hope you will find some relief today....sending you comfort and encouragement to nurture yourself today.....and feel better.
hecate105
Beloved Grand Eagle
Get out a notebook and start journalling! Write down EVERYTHING that is bugging you - all the family dynamic stuff, all the 'crap' that stops you doing what you want. Just get it all out and see if you feel better. Maybe find a guided meditation and get lost in it so that your body can release some of the stress and relax. Stop thinking/worrying about others - things are as they are and each of you can only do what you can - stretching yourself in order to make others feel better - if it results in pain - just isn' t worth it - for you or for them... Be kind to yourself...!
Iwire thank you for getting back to me. I am focusing on breathing and the psychological things that I feel. I am able to move better now. Can bend down and pick up stuff and could not last night. I think I just want someone to be there when it gets unbearable. Thank God for this forum because no one from my family can come over and help me right now. So grateful for your support and good wishes.
plum
Beloved Grand Eagle
@Timbercat,
I endured a similarly stressful period last year. I was pretty much the only one doing everything and everyone was leaning on me. It was awful and I experienced a huge flare in symptoms. I cried and raged a lot too. Interestingly I noticed that there were two feeling-tones to these outbursts; those which were loaded with stress, overwhelm and responsibility and those saturated with compassion and an aching desire to be with my people in their frightening times of need. The latter made me reflect a lot on the endless expressions and manifestations of grief and of loss. How much we care and how much we love but we don't show or share enough. Somewhere in the madness of it all I found these insights created an emotional buffer that really helped.
Of course I also had to ring a few changes once the whole 'first do bullets, then do muck' phase had passed. Boundaries, self care and self-soothing are all paramount during these stressful onslaughts.
Mostly though remember the mantra this too will pass. Life will soften. Demands ease. Pain diminish.
Rest now.
I endured a similarly stressful period last year. I was pretty much the only one doing everything and everyone was leaning on me. It was awful and I experienced a huge flare in symptoms. I cried and raged a lot too. Interestingly I noticed that there were two feeling-tones to these outbursts; those which were loaded with stress, overwhelm and responsibility and those saturated with compassion and an aching desire to be with my people in their frightening times of need. The latter made me reflect a lot on the endless expressions and manifestations of grief and of loss. How much we care and how much we love but we don't show or share enough. Somewhere in the madness of it all I found these insights created an emotional buffer that really helped.
Of course I also had to ring a few changes once the whole 'first do bullets, then do muck' phase had passed. Boundaries, self care and self-soothing are all paramount during these stressful onslaughts.
Mostly though remember the mantra this too will pass. Life will soften. Demands ease. Pain diminish.
Rest now.
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How reassuring it is to see improvement with your attention to yourself.... please take a look at Plum's most recent posts--- my heaven's they are just incredible-- the words are like a hug--so soothing and calming... I think they would help you... My TMS doctor reminded me that I have the power to sooth myself-- it is so helpful to keep that in mind when I am feeling the struggle... but it is amazing how a few words on this forum can make such a difference.... I will be thinking of you and holding the image of strength, flexibility and freedom of movement--- what can you see out your window? can you find joy in it?
Hecate...also thanks to you for responding. I will be journalling today. As I mentioned above, I am a somewhat better now than I was earlier this am or last night. I'll be working on it today and hope I continue to improve. Thank you for getting back to me when I am feeling so desperate. It helps a lot.
Plum, You write so beautifully as we have all noted and straight from the heart. You are so right about feeling both overwhelming stress and responsibility and yet compassion. Seeing my sister on oxygen at home after a bout with vicious influenza is so hard to watch. She is getting better but is still on O2. I am resting now. My family will manage and I will recover because I want to. And yes, nothing does last forever...not the good stuff and thankfully not the bad. Many thanks to everyone this morning. Warm wishes.