low self esteem - what causes it?

[PainNoMore]

and how can I make it better?

one of my personality traits is a low self esteem and I think it's something that contributes to my battle with TMS. I also think it's something that causes TMS to keep coming back. any ideas to help?

 

[Andy Bayliss]

I think of low self-esteem as being caused by the
---the desire to be loved
---related to "who we think we have to be, to be loved"
---with underpinning belief that I'm probably not lovable just as I am
---all re-enforced and made believable by superego (Inner Critic) activity which is constantly measuring, and finding us lacking
And a great deal of the superego activity is projected on to others as "they think I'm not good enough, and they're probably right." But it is an internal process of self-diminishment ---all originally fueled by a deep impetus to stay in the field of love of our caregivers.

What to do? Observe the self-critical thoughts and learn to disengage from them. My go-to book for those interested is The Soul Without Shame, by Byron Brown. Teaches awareness and disengagement of the superego.

Good luck in this work!!!! This "low self esteem" goes deep, is painful, and holds us back from our unfolding aliveness.

 

[PainNoMore]

Thanks for your input Andy. Some good thoughts there. I can definitely relate to these things you've mentioned. I'll take a look at that book too