Day 17 Love-Hate

[Mtnjac]

I’m to choose a part of the program I like the best today. Here goes:

Hands down, I like the helpful responses that have broadened my thinking, brought to me most kindly from wise experiences.

Then there’s the part I both love and hate: Yeah, THAT one! Journaling. I see myself more clearly, thus the nexus of pain. Cathartic isn’t a strong enough word to describe the explosion of feelings I didn’t anticipate. The fact that I love the results of the process but hate the process itself is telling. My mind resists!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

My mind resists!

Mine too, my friend... in spite of thirteen years proving the effectiveness, I still put it off. And then I pay the price until I am desperate enough to just do it. This just happened last week and I found myself turning on the light at 3am and scribbling two full pages of crap from my head onto the paper. When I was through with the initial ranting at the outside world and current events and started listing everything bothering or worrying me in my personal world, I was amazed at number of random things which were taking up space with negative chatter. No wonder I was having a dozen symptoms.

The good news is that the turnaround and recovery was very fast (as in, significant relief the next day) which I have found to be the case since I initially did "the work" in 2011/2012.

It seems to be the natural cycle to neglect the mental and emotional upkeep, let shit pile up, ignore symptoms until they can't be ignored, and finally get desperate enough to go back to the basics and pull out the pen and paper. It works every time and it amazes me how brilliantly it works, every time.

And then the cycle starts all over again. But - I'll say it again - the turnaround and recovery get faster the more you practice it. You'll get there!

 

[Cactusflower]

The difference is @JanAtheCPA, you don't freak out when you get symptoms. You are able to see them for what they are and have that aha moment and know exactly what you need to do with confidence and assurance that you always on the right path.

 

[Diana-M]

It works every time and it amazes me how brilliantly it works, every time.

I love this! And also how you mentioned it gets easier after the initial Work has been accomplished.

I noticed journaling has actually gotten enjoyable and even addictive (the feeling of emotional relief it gives is addictive), since I’ve been doing it every day for the Hanscom app the past 2 months. I hope I keep it up after I’m done with the app!

But, I will say, I just start rambling on the page. I don’t force any negative feelings to the surface. I more provide a reliable outlet, and if they come, they come. This takes the pressure off of journaling to be a digging session every time. And it has lured me into liking it.

 

[Mtnjac]

Mine too, my friend... in spite of thirteen years proving the effectiveness, I still put it off. And then I pay the price until I am desperate enough to just do it. This just happened last week and I found myself turning on the light at 3am and scribbling two full pages of crap from my head onto the paper. When I was through with the initial ranting at the outside world and current events and started listing everything bothering or worrying me in my personal world, I was amazed at number of random things which were taking up space with negative chatter. No wonder I was having a dozen symptoms.

The good news is that the turnaround and recovery was very fast (as in, significant relief the next day) which I have found to be the case since I initially did "the work" in 2011/2012.

It seems to be the natural cycle to neglect the mental and emotional upkeep, let shit pile up, ignore symptoms until they can't be ignored, and finally get desperate enough to go back to the basics and pull out the pen and paper. It works every time and it amazes me how brilliantly it works, every time.

And then the cycle starts all over again. But - I'll say it again - the turnaround and recovery get faster the more you practice it. You'll get there!

I’m discovering the truth of what you say JanA, and the (non)technique of just spewing a stream of (un)consciousness upon the pages. This I do in long hand as I can then feel or examine the force, emphasis, softness, hesitation, anger, or whatever, of my changing script as the emotions flow.

I am also finding that the words themselves can be surprising and enlightening. I cannot help but think of those who claim to reveal the unknown through automatic writing, as they call it. Similarly, we are also revealing our unrealized truths from within.

My gosh, do you ever reinforce my thinking! As ever, thank you!