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Loss of a friend

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by mike2014, Sep 28, 2015.

  1. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi All,

    I've just had devastating news that my friend passed away.

    Due to my own own ailments and lack of full mobility I never had the opportunity to see him. He lived in another city.

    I'm feeling very overwhelmed with sadness right now. It's times like this that you put things into a deeper perspective.

    I know it's off topic, but just wanted to release some emotion and sadness.

    Thanks for listening.
  2. Markus

    Markus Guest

    Mike God Bless you, that's awful. But remember all the good times!
  3. Anne Walker

    Anne Walker Beloved Grand Eagle

    So sorry for your loss. I work a lot with hospice clients and it is very natural to turn the the sadness into regret for all the things you feel you should have done for your friend/loved one. To feel the genuine sadness of loosing someone you love though is what makes us caring, empathetic loving beings with an enormous capacity to feel connected to one another. It is times like these that puts things into a deeper perspective. Thanks for sharing.
    JanAtheCPA and nowtimecoach like this.
  4. Zumbafan

    Zumbafan Well known member

    Mike, sending you sympathy for the loss of your friend.

    I hope you can manage to get outside for some sunshine today.
  5. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thank you all for your words of advice and support. I think I am going to try and shift my thinking from regret to the good times we shared.

    I've never been the best at expressing my sadness or grief, but I know there is a need for me to do this in a healthy way.
    JanAtheCPA and levfin003 like this.
  6. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Peer Supporter

    I am sure your friend would rather have you celebrate his life and remember the good times you had together. Sorry for your loss.
  7. Renee

    Renee Well known member

    So very sorry to hear this Mike. How wonderful though that you had such a great friendship.
  8. nowtimecoach

    nowtimecoach Well known member

    Hi Mike, Sending prayers to ease your aching heart. Loss is never easy.
  9. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Mike, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Things like this can be a real blow. I think that shifting attention to the good things as the feelings pass through you is very wise. Perhaps you can even apply mindfulness.
  10. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Mike. I too send my condolences. Losing a cherished friend is one of the saddest things, but I agree with the others to try to remember the good times.

    I'm 85 and some of my best friends and family members have passed on, and I feel their loss greatly. I'm even surprised that I have not actually broken down and cried when one passes, but I know I feel it deeply. I do try to remember our good times together, and their loss also helps me to cherish those I love who are still around. '

    Forest's suggestion to apply mindfulness is very good. A month-long mindfullness seminar starts Oct. 1 here on this web site. I hope you will join us for daily techniques to live in the present.

    Also, think that your friend is in a happier place now, free of life's pains, worries, etc.
  11. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thank you everybody for your support and condolences.
  12. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Me too, Mike. I'm so very sorry, and I truly empathize.

    This devastating awareness of death and of loss is one of the great mysteries of our humanity. And it seems we must always add some kind of guilt for not having done enough or been enough. I wonder why we have to bear it, but I suppose that we must have faith that it serves a higher purpose.

    Sending loving kindness your way today.

  13. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    Sorry to hear of the death of your beloved friend. Let yourself feel your sadness and grief. Loss is part of life, as life is change.
  14. Colly

    Colly Beloved Grand Eagle

    Mike, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. As Ellen suggests, allow the grief to be felt, and then reflect on how blessed you were to have that person in your life. Reflect on the fun and laughter and the good times too. Let all the emotions - joy, sadness and grief to be expressed fully.

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