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Day 22 Longing

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by MSZ812, Apr 19, 2017.

  1. MSZ812

    MSZ812 Well known member

    I was reading an assigned article for this program, and one particular emotion leaped off the page, so much so that I had to do a writing exercise for it. The author was discussing a range of different emotions that are repressed in those with TMS. The big one that we've all come to notice is rage/anger, which I've come to realize in the past 3 weeks. The particular emotion that gripped me more recently is longing. Over the past 10+ years, I've repressed many strong desires that I know now is at least partly responsible for my TMS. One of those strong desires is to find a wife. I repressed that emotion soon after my parents divorced, when I vowed never to get married. I put up a wall since then, and I haven't been able to have serious relationships. That longing for companionship was repressed, and I didn't notice how miserable it made me. I repressed that longing by rationalizing my lifestyle.

    Did any of you make that connection during your journal writing? Did you rationalize your lifestyle as a coping tactic so that you didn't have to address the fact that you made some seriously wrong decisions?

    - Matt
  2. dear Matt
    yes, it's the same for me - by disregarding my own wishes / needs to a large extent I very obviously violated the law of Take Care Of Yourself:(, also for many years...
    I hope very much you can take that wall apart soon and open up your heart as you heal!!!
    MSZ812 likes this.
  3. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Matt. I also wish you good luck in finding someone to marry, but be sure you love the person and are loved in return. I stuck with dogs and never regretted it.
    MSZ812 likes this.

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