Little ways to feel better

[Diana-M]

My TMS has caused me some real mobility issues and as I’ve been less mobile, I’ve gotten more sore and then when I try to move, I have pain. This makes me shy away from movement. And it’s a viscous cycle. A few of my friends on here have talked about doing little things around the house and how that has been a good way to get movement for them…and at first I laughed, of course, because I resist everything that I’ve learned here that’s turned out to be amazing But I just noticed that doing the littlest things will give you so much joy—it has for me. wiping down the counter, loading a dish in the dishwasher, cleaning a little pile of junk mail up, wiping the kitchen table. All of these things add up to movement and they also build up your self-esteem and your satisfaction with living and that’s even without leaving the house. Has anyone else noticed something like this or has any tips for the rest of us? I’ve just been surprised how helpful this is so I wanted to share it .

 

[Ellen]

It's fine to find ways to live with TMS and I applaud your efforts. But I want to remind everyone that total recovery from TMS is the goal and is possible. And recovery doesn't have to take a long time and effort, though that may be the case for some people. Recovery can happen quickly and is usually accompanied by an epiphany, as @Duggit wrote recently. It's like the acceptance of a truth you've been hiding from yourself, which is the best way I can describe it. It can take a long time to get to that state of acceptance, but the shift it creates happens quickly.

Hang in there, folks. Everyone can be free from TMS.

 

[Diana-M]

Thank you, @Ellen ! I love what you said!

 

[Cactusflower]

Just like you need to jump in and accept the emotional pains to work through them, you need to work through the physical pains. TMS wants to keep you in it’s straight jacket of safety
When I challenge the physical, sensations increase. My brain screams danger but I have been teaching it that this is only another thought pattern that is not true, just thoughts. The sensations may not be pleasant but I’m not going to get to the other side sitting and waiting for the pain to magically disappear.
My symptoms increased for a few days but I’ve learned to do what I can (not what I think I can) through them. It’s the continual opportunity to teach my brain that movement is safe. I had to force myself to get out and walk, to sit, to do chores. I would cry, and sob at how freaking impossibly hard it seemed. But it is working.

 

[Diana-M]

Just like you need to jump in and accept the emotional pains to work through them, you need to work through the physical pains.

I can grasp this because for some bizarre reason I’m willing to suffer emotionally to get better. But I cringe at the physical pain. I need to get the discipline to face up to this. I do the dishes every night now, and halfway through, the pain comes in and takes my breath away and I just say, “No! This isn’t dangerous! I’m doing this. Period. End of discussion!” Then I keep doing the dishes and by the time I’m done the pain has subsided.

My brain screams danger but I have been teaching it that this is only another thought pattern that is not true, just thoughts.

Just thoughts! It’s really like a battle of wills. Reminds me of disciplining a kid. I remember telling my son when he was about 14, “You’re stubborn, but I’m more stubborn!” As in, I won’t give in. I need to adopt that same attitude here. With myself. TMS brain isn’t in charge. I am.

 

[BloodMoon]

@Diana-M Because of the exchanges we've had, I know that you're not just making these efforts to live with TMS. I know that your intention/goal is to fully recover and I believe that what you're doing can get you there, albeit that might be gradually.

In taking all these 'baby steps' that you describe, you're now getting on with life (as Sarno said to do).

Despite the pain and stiffness, you're loading the dishwasher etc., and you are getting some joy from the achievement of doing it.

You're defying your TMSing brain and showing it that it's safe to do such tasks.

With the joy and satisfaction you're now experiencing in relation to your continued achievements your anxiety levels will be reducing. (And imo I believe that @miffybunny was right when she wrote this about TMS somewhere on the forum: "you will need to get clarity on what is really going on here... which is just anxiety".)

Regarding 'little ways to get better', I found it very helpful to make them (and think of them) as being 'tiny habits' to incorporate and become part of my life. This (below) is from the book 'Tiny Habits' by B. J. Fogg PhD which I found to be really good https://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Habits-Changes-Change-Everything/dp/0358362776/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.8RlY2c4dXOn9giW84_VrKq8FSLozpYnNPbqxVsz40ohVjcTUMzzRBjxWmyuX20khOBICKtUmnB-CEtDbk2rqsPJCw8EOaBkftRtS6gdG3cTXqjl6KnQHQPCRACyYd5pzNa7GBLLhB7olmpOUaYJ2c_t3QZS1XQSS1YqN5kr2msGAJ7z6IzWgd5Pn9VvIdP9O9F2HHEjsaUUeMUVrPuHr1o57ePKhn9WHx7emNlg3hh4.td8dI7KNWWpHQrXKHHQY7FqLbTPR_kuEF3vN2xQa-Z8&qid=1730989390&sr=8-1 (Amazon.com)

"The Anatomy of Tiny Habits

1) Anchor the moment
An existing routine (like brushing your teeth or an event that happens (like the phone ringing). The Anchor Moment reminds you to do the new Tiny Behaviour.

2) New Tiny Behaviour
A simple version of the new habit you want, such as flossing one tooth or doing two push-ups. You do the Tiny Behaviour immediately after the Anchor moment.

3) Instant Celebration
Something you do to create positive emotions, such as saying, "I did a good job!" You celebrate immediately after doing the new Tiny Behaviour.

Anchor
Behaviour
Celebration"

One of my 'anchors' is when I am watching TV -- I get up from being seated or from lying on my day bed whenever the ads come on. I started by forcing myself to get up and then just sitting back down again (at the time that was all I could manage) but now I immediately get up without having to push myself to do it and I walk on the spot for a while. (Most of the stuff I watch is recorded, so I don't suffer the ads. I just fast forward through them, but I still do the walking on the spot before I sit down again.)

Thought I'd mention this in case it might help you and/or someone else.

 

[Diana-M]

One of my 'anchors' is when I am watching TV -- I get up from being seated or from lying on my day bed whenever the ads come on.

Love this idea! This is what I mean! It’s a lot easier to do sort of built in movements, than to make a big deal out of “exercise time.” Because the minute I make a big deal out of exercising, I run and hide!
Thanks for the notes on Tiny Habits. Very helpful!

 

[BloodMoon]

Something else I do is I leave a couple of cans of food on the kitchen worktop and while I'm waiting for my bread to toast or my soup to heat up or whatever, I use them as weights. I lift them above my head a few times and use them for arm curls and also hold them while I swing my arms - one arm in front of me and one round the back of me, alternating each arm from the front to the back and back to the front again. Not exactly joy making but nevertheless kind of pleasing to know that I'm doing a little bit of exercise. I find it's quite meditative too.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

"New" in health news earlier this year was the discovery that even a few minutes a day of weight training can make a positive difference. It inspired me to keep an 8lb dumbell at the top of my stairs and get in a few reps (8 is challenging) after I throw a treat for the cat down the steps and then wait for him to come back for another one. Getting two things done at once since he needs exercise too.

Don't forget the squats and lunges!

Before the pandemic, my trainer had me regularly using a range of 7- to 12-lb freeweights. I now only use 4- or 5 lbs in my twice-weekly strength and cardio classes.
One of those instructors also recommends soup cans or water bottles for starting out. A soup can in the US is typically 14 ounces, while water is the same weight and volume ("a pint is a pound"). It's harder to hold cans or bottles bigger than this, which is when it's worth investing in some weights to up your game and make gains. 3 lbs is a very popular weight for older people new to weight training. Add a set of 2s, and you can hold two together in mix-and-match configurations, since 2s and 3s are both pretty skinny.

Back in the day, both "before" and "after Sarno", I would often have to drag myself out of the house for my training sessions, convinced that I couldn't possibly engage in them because I felt so shitty - but I had made a commitment to my trainer and I wanted her to succeed and to feel like she was being of service (my goodist nature, but I also understood this as a CPA) so I would show up, and adjust my attitude for her, and of COURSE I felt really good afterwards and continued to improve and achieve the goals she set, which was awesome considering I was 59 when we first started back in 2010.

 

[Diana-M]

Interesting. I started this post a month ago and this desire is growing, wanting to stand up to my pain.

I recently started the TMS recovery program by Alan Gordon https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/TMS_Recovery_Program#Working_Toward_Outcome_Independence (TMS Recovery Program). It’s great!

In this particular lesson, it talks about outcome independence. I’ve been working on the forum for more than eight months, and just like people say, things hit you when you’re meant to hear them. This lesson really spoke to me.

Today, I was doing 10 times more around the house, and I was talking out loud to my primitive brain. I was telling it that I’m in charge. I don’t care what it thinks. I’ll just keep doing what I want to do and it needs to stop. I’ve never said these things out loud before and it felt good. In response, my TMS brain was locking me down and screwing with my balance. It was hard to walk.

There must be a finite number of times that I can stand up to this lizard and at some point, it will go away. Would I defy my TMS 100 times to get free? 300 times? 1,000 times? Yes, yes and yes! There’s my answer.

I think it’s easy to picture that it will never go away, and that’s what makes me quit trying. I slack off. I live a very small life to avoid pain and fear. I want to change all that. I’m willing to try harder.