So the question on day 1 was essentially "What would life be without TMS?" I want to run. I want to run races. I ran track in high school, but I know I could do it, again. It would be me having enough energy to play with my boys. My oldest son is a pitcher, and I love to play catch with him. I will drive him to the fields as much as possible. Life without TMS would be me not caring about what others think. I wouldn't either be stressed about life or distracted with pain nonstop. I did week one for a few months, but I need to start over and do it right. I was able to get to a few big emotions about the 'takers' I've had my entire life,starting at the age of 3. So, this is my first day 1 strand. I know there are still emotions. I am in a strange situation: We've recently discovered a friend has been embezzling money from a place we helped him develop. I yelled at him, demanding answers. It was exhilarating. It was a total out of body experience. I was shamed, and the leaders were called 'boys and girls.' I felt horrible. I never step out and call someone out on things, but I felt so guilty. Something about that moment has stuck with me, and is tied to my dad. I believe it relates back to the first time my dad got mad at me for something I had no control over. I didn't win the spelling bee as a 4th grader like I did in 3rd grade. He didn't talk to me for 3 days. That was the first time I knew I wasn't good enough. I'm not good enough, and the reactions I get in return leave me wondering if it's worth it. Pain has been several things from rib pain, back, hemis, neck, shoulders, itching, and RSI. My rsi is currently flared and I worry that it's something else. Listening to success stories helps a lot as well as talking to my husband about it.