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Life Beyond TMS

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Kati, Jul 29, 2020.

  1. Kati

    Kati New Member

    No, I'm not quite 100% symptom-free, but I feel as if I'm emerging from the 'haze' of TMS. The anxiety that I've had for over 30 years is way down, and I can see a life beyond it and physical symptoms, but I don't know what that life should look like.
    I'm sure many here can relate to how all-consuming TMS can be when you're in the thick of it. Over the years, even when I haven't had physical symptoms, anxiety has prevented me from doing things I might have wanted to, but was too afraid to. I used to spend a lot of the spare time I do have on my tablet whether it was googling information about anxiety or physical symptoms, or simply reading too much about the news, etc. Passive information gathering. I recently decided to just get rid of my tablet, and that felt great. It's embarrassing to admit, but I don't really have any hobbies and I don't know how to figure out what I like to do for fun. There are so many possibilities out there that it seems overwhelming, and it's a quick route to self-pressure, which = anxiety and symptoms. Does anyone have ideas about how to figure out/narrow down one's interests? I think this is a major area in my life that has been sort of a 'black hole' on my healing journey and needs attention. I've made some changes in my work, and I'm working on family issues, but I don't really have any 'fun.'
    TrustIt likes this.
  2. Kozas

    Kozas Well known member

    Well I quess that's something no one can really figure out but yourself. I can give some advice though: start with something 'broad' and then narrow it down. Do you like doing stuff indoors or outdoors? Do you want something to focus 100% on or not? Should it be physically taxing or not? Then, after you answer those questions you can look on the Internet, on different hobbies forums etc. I like doing stuff, while watching movies/tv series - it makes me not concentrate on pain. I also like to do manual things. So I started assembling and painting figurines. It's a load of fun, and sometimes I can even earn some cash, selling painted figurines! I have to photograph my figurines, and that actually started somewhat as my another hobby. When I'm really tired and don't have energy to paint or make photos I play video games - there are different genres, starting from action games to city builders which are incredibly relaxing. Not all games are about destroying, some are about building! I especially like Tropico series(especially in winter!) because carribean music and visuals are so relaxing to me. Those are just some ideas, I know that it's guy perspective, but general idea is the same for everybody. And remember that you can try stuff, and after a while decide if you like it or now.
    Kati likes this.
  3. TrustIt

    TrustIt Well known member

    just a quick shout out to you, kati, that you have company here. i sometimes wonder if i am creating symptoms as excuses bc i don't like to admit that i don't know what i want to do! it's actually quite a surprising question when of course i want to be happy but when asking myself what that would look like, i don't even KNOW? I look at my friends and other people who have their wonderful hobbies and know how to play. i seem to have forgotten. i feel lazy and all this brings up guilt. loop de loop. it's crazy making.
    Kati likes this.
  4. Kati

    Kati New Member

    Kozas, thank you for replying! Your suggestions are great, it helped loosen up some of my mental 'freeze' around this subject and start to narrow things down. I've also started reflecting back to what I liked to do as a kid, before I overthought everything in life.
    That's cool, I know a few people who have extended their creative hobbies into a business, whether that's full time or just for extra cash. I'm envious of that, which is probably telling me something...

    TrustIt, I was going to quote you, then realized that it would have to be the whole post! I can relate to everything you said! I almost didn't even make the OP, because something like hobbies seems maybe trivial or unimportant, but I feel that for a lot of us it may be a huge part of the healing puzzle.
    TrustIt likes this.
  5. Kozas

    Kozas Well known member

    I'm happy that I was able to help. Also you are 100% right that hobbies are important. I think it's because society changed, but humans not really. I mean primitive human 10 000 years ago had to take care of shelter, find food etc that was his purpose, and he felt relaxed when he was able to deal with those basic things. But nowadays it's so easy to take care for our basic needs - we can just go to shop and buy food, we don't have to worry about wild animals etc. So what we gonna do with rest of our time? Can work give us satisfaction? Sometimes, but the thing is that in our society our work often seems non-important ale like cog in a big machine. I mean come on, average paper pusher in office rarely feel that he is archieving anything. And that's why so many people needs something just for themselves - maybe sport, maybe hobby, maybe something else, but something they can do themselves. I feel like pain often is something that is 'filling my void'. Maybe brain decides that feeling of boredom are worse than pain?

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