Letting go of the feeling you need more tests?

[unfunfionn]

I started reading 'Healing Back Pain' on Sunday and it's been very enlightening, but I gather it's going to be a long road.

I've been having a number of chronic symptoms over the last 20-24 months. Upset stomach, nausea, permanent neck pains, lower back pains, shoulder pains, and recently lightheadedness, tension headaches, ear ache and weakness in my arms and legs, particularly on the right side. I've gotten the all clear from three medical practitioners (4-5 blood tests), two gastroenterologists (blood tests), the ER (ultrasound on stomach, an MRI on my head, and 2 blood tests), two orthopedists, a urologist and an ear, nose and throat specialist. 3 weeks ago I had an MRI on my neck. My orthopedist said the results were clear, but that the radiologist suggested a follow up MRI to investigate bone marrow with a contrast dye. There was no urgency in their recommendation though. Scheduling it was left completely up to me (early June). And I was only informed at a follow up appointment I had scheduled myself. Seems like they're just being thorough rather than concerned.

The thing is, in terms of stress and anxiety, I'm realising that I'm absolutely wired. Not only am I carrying so much old stress and frustration with me (despite being only 28), I'm fixated on my health. What went from a mild anxiety about terminal illnesses every time I got tested, is now a feeling of certain impending doom every time I'm waiting for results. Doctor says he recommends checking the bone marrow? Must be leukaemia, a spinal tumour and all the other stuff I found on Wikipedia and WebMD. Spending a week thinking you're waiting to be told you're going to die is no fun, and certainly doesn't help the stress levels

Sooooo, after all that, I was wondering how some of you have shaken off the feeling that you haven't been tested properly, your doctor's weren't thorough enough, your symptoms just aren't visible enough to whoever is checking etc.?

When is it time to let go? And how?

Thanks!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

The time to get go of more medical tests was yesterday or the day before.
Even if medical tests show a structural abnormality, those may not cause pain.
Also, they may well have been caused by TMS emotions such as repressed fear or anxiety,
and/or a perfectionist and goodist personality.

Doctors make a lot of money giving tests. And it's a big mistake to look for reasons of pain
at Doctor Google or the WebMD. They can just make you think you have every malady possible
when you just have TMS.

You're not going to die from your symptoms. You're just letting your Inner Bully scare you.

A leading cancer surgeon in the Chicago area took a two-second look at my neck a few years ago
and said there was a cancerous pimple there and scheduled me for neck surgery. I insisted he first
have a culture taken, and had to almost fight him before he agreed. The culture was taken and
waited a week for the results but got no call, so I called and asked. His nurse said the culture showed
it was just a tiny water blister and to forget it. I forgot the water blister but not that a top cancer
surgeon would have opened my neck for nothing. I have been skeptical of doctors ever since.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi Unfunfionn,

I had lots of tests and lots of treatments for my foot pain. I finally "went Sarno" after inquiring into my doubts, which released me to try this, rather than "believing physical." Everyone is up against their own doubts and patterns, and these are re-enforced by the medical (and most alternative health) approaches. Here is my blog on this particular moment for me:
http://www.tmspainrelief.com/exploring-doubts-about-dr-sarnos-work/

After this experience, I told myself that I would take Dr. Sarno's approach to heart for 3 months, forgetting my scheduled surgery, and see what happened. This isn't the purist approach, but it worked. I kept finding more and more evidence that I suffered from a mind-body syndrome, not an injured nerve.

You are observing the obsessing about medical stuff. You are seeing various symptoms that fit into the TMS patterns. You are aware of your fear. These are all signs that you have TMS. One skill you seem to have is to observe the fears and repetitive thoughts and not completely identify with them. See them as part of the TMS pattern, name them so, and move your mind to other thoughts...and also inquire into what these thoughts are distracting you from, what might be deeper that is painful?

Good luck in this.

Andy B.

 

[jtperks]

If you let go of that feeling of needing more tests today, then you would be about 3-4 days behind me. Just last week, I came to the realization that when enough doctors look at you, and can't really tell you what's going on, then maybe it's time to accept what they're saying -- and go with the TMS self-diagnosis. I just got fed up with worrying everyday. So now, I have this attitude that I don't care. If I have a terminal disease, then so be it. Nothing I can do about it. I've been in "screw it" mode ever since last week. Feels great. I'm not healed or anything, but I've done a much better job of not caring about how I feel. In fact, before i posted this, I was online buying running shoes. I don't care what my body feels like, if I can move, I'm going running again.

 

[unfunfionn]

That's very encouraging to hear from all three of you. Thanks for that. I'm trying to carve out enough quality reading time each day to get through the first book. Right now there's still a lot of mystery.

Speaking of exercise, I've actually gone through several phases of exercise over the last 3-4 months. Going to the gym 3-4 times a day, 20km bike commutes to work etc. Something always came up. Stomach problems, neck pains, and I would stop for a week. Then again, I couldn't just do them for fun. They became competitive, even when I was doing it alone, and just another source of stress.

Here's hoping the MRI in two weeks is clear. My head really isn't in good shape. But it's fitting that I'm feeling the symptoms in the part of my body where all my stress is built up in the first place.

 

[PamD]

I find that it can be difficult to remember that my head is messing with me. But each time I come onto the forum it is a great reminder of the power of the mind. So I try to remind myself that I am ok. I focus on what is going right and talk to that TMS part of my brain and tell it I am on to it and to quiet down, all is well I am safe and healthy. Great suggestions everyone! I am always curious to hear how people quiet this down.