We are kind to others, we often look out for our friends and especially our loved ones. Most all of us wouldn't want to see anyone hurt or in pain. We as tmsers are overall great people with huge hearts. I am a goodist and I say it loud and proud, it has helped me make many lasting relationships with some very good people. But that same part, that loving goodist part has been hell on me for a long time in my past. I didn't know that the love I showed for others was the same love I needed to show myself, I just didn't know how much self love I really needed. I had this goodist part that went something like this, "ok Herbie you hurt her feelings, now what do you think of yourself ?, your just not going to feel right till you make it up to her" I would work all week trying to get an aunts approval that wasn't even really mad at me or even hurt, it was I that was hurt, it was my own self judgement and critical thoughts that kept me boiling till I made amends with those I might have hurt. These kind of thoughts from my goodist trait had to be explored and known for me to see the shadow that my inner child was hiding in, I had to see the pain that this goodism had brought on me and the anxiety and sleepless nights. I could feel the sympathy and the empathy that wasn't really there in the others, it was triggers and stresses that I had conditioned in my own mind since I was a child and pleasing my mom was the only way I knew to get approval. This was also a trait I discovered while learning Dr. Sarnos journaling strategies. See the journaling for me was to learn what I was doing unconsciously to myself. The conscious thoughts, the tensive thinking, the inner bully and the self critic along with the inner child had to be all dealt with and most all of this was fueled by my goodist trait. I had to learn to take this trait and be thankful for it but at the same time I had to learn to stop beating up on myself because of it. I believe those of us with this goodist trait have a huge blessing to love and help others and that gives us happiness and serenity but we can never forget to go light on ourselves and be just as good to ourselves too. That part, being good to me with meditations and patience and letting go and taking back my self control over my self compassion was the best thing I could have ever done to grow in my knowledge of who I was and also in order for me to heal and get better from the pain that had settled in my body. It’s important to be nice to yourself. You really have to love yourself. So make sure you don't start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don't value you, don't fall for that one either. Know your worth, even if they don’t. Today, let someone love you just the way you are and let that someone be you – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as incomplete as you think you are. Love yourself despite all of this, and let the good times roll -- your goodist side is your blessing not your enemy.