When I was a kid, I would always smile. Some of it was out of shyness, but mostly it was because I was more carefree. I can remember waking up as a child with a smile on my face. I didn't have any reason to smile, I was just... happy. How then did I become a person who hardly ever smiles at all? I'm always so serious about things. I hardly ever crack a smile, even if I watch something funny. From the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep, there is always a sense of foreboding and dread that looms over me. I have become so pessimistic. I look at life as being harsh and a struggle. Everything feels so difficult, as if trying to get through life with a lead ball tied around my ankle. I never expect the best, but always fear the worst. Is it any wonder my body hurts all over? It has taken a lot self-reflection and taking a step back to realize what I have become. And I don't like that person. It's no way to go through life. I want to go back to the boy who always smiled a lot. I know it wont happen overnight, but I am determined to work on it each and every day. p.s. Just sharing my personal thoughts and feelings, I hope this is the proper forum for it.