1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this link: http://go.tmswiki.org/newprogram
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Day 1 Last chance saloon

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Lunar, Jul 24, 2019.

  1. Lunar

    Lunar Newcomer

    My subject line kind of sums up how I feel about this. I'm a total newbie to the concept of TMS and have spent the past week reading/listening to everything I can - here, Dr Sarno's books, the Curable app etc. I totally believe this applies to me, and am just working through some residual doubts, which I think are pretty much all tied in to my conditioned responses, particularly around sitting.

    Bit of background: I'm a 48 year old woman dealing with 30 years of low back pain and sciatica. An incident at 18 saw me laid up in bed for three months (that was the advice in the 80s) and ever since then my back has been my vulnerable spot. I've had numerous episodes of intense pain and immobility that have lasted between weeks and months, always eventually wearing off, but leaving me with permanent 'low-grade' background pain until the next major attack. The fear I experience both during and between these attacks has had a hugely detrimental effect on the quality of my life. It has utterly curtailed me in so many ways.

    Around six years ago an MRI scan showed evidence of a bacterial infection in my spine leading to two microfractured vertebrae, and I took part in a controversial medical trial during which I took antibiotics for 100 days (google Dr. Hanne Albert). I have been more or less pain free since then (the background pain has always remained but I've had no major issues in 6 years) which has been completely amazing, other than never being able to shake the fear. That's until the last six months, during which I've had two big flares, one of which I'm in right now.

    So here I am at Day 1. I know this is going to be hard for me, but will give it everything. My first major challenge is to work on conditioned responses, as I'm in the somewhat strange position of being able to make my pain disappear almost entirely by laying down and/or walking. When I sit, however – which I need to do for my job as a journalist! - I'm in agony within 5 minutes. My anxiety about why this is happening and the stress it's causing me about being able to do my job is my major sticking point right now.

    Sorry for the length. Just offloading some of my initial thoughts! Looking forward to seeing where this takes me and being involved in the forum.
     
  2. ssxl4000

    ssxl4000 Well known member

    Sounds like you're in a good mindset to tackle this...good luck! From the outside perspective, it seems that the fact your back hurts when sitting, but feels better when walking supports the TMS diagnosis as that makes little physical sense. Somewhat related...I still sometimes get indigestion when I eat a snack while working (because I hate my job), but I usually feel fine after eating a much larger dinner (because it's the evening and I'm relaxed). Shenanigans!
     

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