Knowing When You've Pushed Too Hard

Hi everyone, it's been awhile since I've posted here on the general forum. I hope you're all doing well and treating yourselves with kindness and compassion! Speaking of, I thought I'd share a bit about what's going on with me lately. As some of you may know I've made huge successes in the last year since learning about TMS. I've gone from using a cane and a walking stick, being unemployed, living with the folks and in constant pain to hiking mountains, running, weight lifting, going back to work, moving out, and most importantly, falling in love. I've been blown away and extremely thankful with how far I've come, but for some reason I thought I could push myself to do more.... classic TMS trait.

Now that I'm working full time and living on my own again I thought I'd go ahead a try for my master's degree on the weekends. Well, today my mind body finally hit a wall and disagreed with how I'm neglecting my true wants and needs. My sleep has deteriorated severely to a few hours a night, been feeling very nauseous, migraines, dizziness etc. Symptom imperative is definitely at work, but now I know I need to think about what is going on in my life and whether doing all these things at once is really worth it when it comes to my health and happiness.

I might have to make some sacrifices, but I think quitting my full time job, getting a part time job, moving back in with the parents and making school a more of a full time commitment might be the way to go (still considering). I can only do so much at once and I respect myself enough to realize this and make the change as necessary. Without knowing about TMS I would have continued to push myself more an more and ended up very unhealthy and unhappy for the next year and a half.

"Sometimes taking a step back can help when it comes to taking the next step forward"

Daniel

 

Hi Daniel,

What a wonderful post! I am sorry about your current symptoms, and yet you see so clearly. At some point it seems to be important to develop "inner boundaries" around what our real needs are, and protect them. Protect them from never-ending, never achieved "ideals" which come from the past and seem so believable. I am so happy you are seeing this in you, and considering the right steps. I think this post will inspire others to do similar inquiry, whether new or experienced with TMS theory.

Andy B

 

Thank you Andy, it means a lot to hear from you and to read what you have written. You're right about it being never-ending. It can feel like a conveyor belt at a factory that just keeps pumping out more parts. Rushing through one part feeling like you're going to finally be in the right place to relax, then comes another, then another... Anyways, hope you're well and climbing some awesome mountains still. Thinking about possibly doing Mt. Tyndall this summer, would love to do Iztaccihuatl (glad I didn't have to pronounce that) in Mexico, but might have to save that for down the line! Take care Andy!

 

Hi Daniel,

Yes, I am up "shredding" once or twice a week in the backcountry on some 3 pin skis, in Southern Oregon mountains. Thanks!

Andy B

 

Hi Daniel,

I am impressed of your state of mind. Instead of freaking out you are able to calm down and completely focus your thinking and your present situation and its effect on your feelings and body.

I hope that I can do the same if I am more expert (I know TMS since December 2016 and am finishing Day 8 of SEP right now).
Becauso of this I cannot give you a suggestion but tell you that your story helped me to understand my present state of mind and my physical situation today:

When I came home I had the plan to do a small fitness/stretching workout. Before my pain began I went to GYM 4-5 days a week. As a perfectionist I turned my hope after feeling better in the first 5 days of SEP into the plan to try more sports and with higher intensity. I believe that my inner child does/did not want me to be so much perfect and planning my life (or in this case my sport workout). Now I am convinced that my inner child was immobilized by my perfectionism in the last ten years and since I go to psycotherapy and learn about TMS my eyes are getting opened. Today I wrote a letter to my old me. This was a bit weird but I tried to tell my inner child that it is welcome in my mind. The pain could be a signal of my inner child who is not allowed to be part of my thoughts, feelings and whole life.

Your post confirms my theory about my situation and the occuring pain at the moment.

Thank you so much. I hope that you will feel better as fast as possible and I am convinced that you are on the right way. I admire you for your TMS-wisdom .

Greetings
Sebastian

 

Hi Sebastian,

I truly appreciate your kind words. I'm impressed by your knowledge of TMS and how your life interwines with it. I have no doubt that with time you'll be feeling well and treating yourself with full compassion. My only advice after knowing about TMS for over year is that once you feel like you've learned enough about TMS and have done the work, to let your mind relax a bit from thinking or reading about TMS. Eventually one can get trapped into an obsession with all things TMS related. You'll know if you've reached that point though.

Take good care Sebastian.

Daniel

"Leap, and the net will appear." - John Burroughs

 

Great post! Thanks for sharing : )

 

Hi Daniel,

thanks for your advice. I will think of it when I feel better for a longer time. I regularly have fall-backs and need this forum and other informations to stay hopeful.

Did you have fall-backs and doubts. At the moment I am questioning my whole personality .

Greetings
Sebastian

 

"been feeling very nauseous, Migraines, Dizziness"

These are all symptoms of being overwhelmed. Subconsciously speaking your head is spinning so you feel dizzy and nauseous. Glad you are applying the lessons you have learned from your TMS experience.

I hope we all learn those lessons and get out of our subconscious-living mode, step back, take a deeper look at our goals, our relationships, our careers, and make better decisions.

Congrats!

 

I had many many setbacks. They'll start to lessen as time goes on. You'll be fine Sebastian, trust me, and trust in the process of life. Be easy on yourself and love your personality, your personality is what makes you unique. Nobody is the same, if we were, the world would be a pretty boring place in my opinion.