wendyd
Peer Supporter
I’ve had lower back pain for over 15 years. It started during a stressful time in my life and never fully left. I have periods when it has just been annoying and times when it has impacted my life. I read about TMS several years ago and saw myself, believed that’s what it was and tried to carry on with my life. I was fairly successful at carrying on with relatively normal activities, but I knew when to expect flare-ups (generally during times of stress).
On Nov 18, I woke up to my alarm and tried to get out of bed. I practically fell on the floor with the worst spasms in my butt. I could barely walk. I tried to walk it off, but it was awful. I was on the living room floor in tears. I didn’t know what to do. (Side note: What was going on that day? I had an early morning meeting with someone at work in a position of authority and whom I was angry with because of the way she was handling a situation directly related to me. I was suppressing my anger because it was not appropriate for me to express it.)
I went to the doctor to make sure it was nothing serious. I had an MRI. I was told I have spinal stenosis and compressed disk (blah blah blah). I wasn’t dying. I was told to see a neurosurgeon. I saw a chiropractor. On Nov 23, I started listening to my Divided Mind (Dr. Sarno) audio again and found this wiki.
Since then, I’ve been following the Structured Program: watching, reading, journaling (not as much as I should!), meditating, laughing. Today is my best day yet. I’m honestly feeling a little giddy and light-headed with how great I feel. I’m not saying I don’t feel a twinge, but holy cow, nothing like I was feeling. I am totally convinced this is TMS. I am not afraid. I am confident that I will be pain free. It has only been a little over 2 weeks, but I feel different. I am so thankful for this wiki and the support I have found. I will continue to work on this and encourage others to stick with it. Thank you to the people who support this wiki!
Another side note: I had a massage tonight. I told her to just do a relaxation massage…not deep tissue because I didn’t need that. As I lay there, I wanted to giggle at how good that felt. When I rolled over, I didn’t wince. Amazing. I told her what I was doing (TMS) and I think she will be signing up for this wiki soon!
On Nov 18, I woke up to my alarm and tried to get out of bed. I practically fell on the floor with the worst spasms in my butt. I could barely walk. I tried to walk it off, but it was awful. I was on the living room floor in tears. I didn’t know what to do. (Side note: What was going on that day? I had an early morning meeting with someone at work in a position of authority and whom I was angry with because of the way she was handling a situation directly related to me. I was suppressing my anger because it was not appropriate for me to express it.)
I went to the doctor to make sure it was nothing serious. I had an MRI. I was told I have spinal stenosis and compressed disk (blah blah blah). I wasn’t dying. I was told to see a neurosurgeon. I saw a chiropractor. On Nov 23, I started listening to my Divided Mind (Dr. Sarno) audio again and found this wiki.
Since then, I’ve been following the Structured Program: watching, reading, journaling (not as much as I should!), meditating, laughing. Today is my best day yet. I’m honestly feeling a little giddy and light-headed with how great I feel. I’m not saying I don’t feel a twinge, but holy cow, nothing like I was feeling. I am totally convinced this is TMS. I am not afraid. I am confident that I will be pain free. It has only been a little over 2 weeks, but I feel different. I am so thankful for this wiki and the support I have found. I will continue to work on this and encourage others to stick with it. Thank you to the people who support this wiki!
Another side note: I had a massage tonight. I told her to just do a relaxation massage…not deep tissue because I didn’t need that. As I lay there, I wanted to giggle at how good that felt. When I rolled over, I didn’t wince. Amazing. I told her what I was doing (TMS) and I think she will be signing up for this wiki soon!
