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Just can't fully believe its not physical this go around.

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Pingman, May 12, 2016.

  1. Pingman

    Pingman Well known member

    I have been experiencing pain in the balls of my feet now since around 02/16/2016. I know I was under a huge amount of stress just having Lung surgery in December and I was still very worried about pains I was having in my lungs. Thats when the ball of foot pain began. I had the same foot pain during my other big TMS episode back in 2013 but I didn't pay much attention as I was fixated on another worse pain so it went away.

    This time around, it appears to have gotten worse and with no other pain to focus on it has persisted. It is very mild, maybe a 3 out 10 pain scale. Feels like I am walking on tiny pebbles or that my foot is bruised. It also feels like my feet are more sensitive.

    I know I have done everything to help condition my subconscious. I got on the internet and saw nerve damage symptoms from diabetes. I ran out and bought a glucose tester and began testing my sugars to see if I had diabetes. I became worried that maybe I had nerve damage. So I made the mistake of going to a podiatrist when the symptoms were mild. One podiatrist said it was a pinched nerve in my foot and gave me shots and x-rays. I thought he was very aggressive so I went to a second who didnt even touch my feet. He said he things I have nerve damage from the antibiotics from my surgery.

    Ever since he said that I can't get nerve damage out of my mind. I was very anxious initially but began to think psychological about the pain and things appeared better. I have had a few periods where I have had no pain for 4 days in a row and then boom it comes back. It appears to be better standing barefoot on a hard floor and worse in my tennis shoes.

    I know I have given my mind all the proof its needs to think its nerve damage because I check my feet constantly. I know that I have TMS and have beaten it before but this time I am struggling. I am on cloud nine when things are good but then I have a 4 day spell where they hurt and I starting wondering if maybe it is nerve damage.

    I know that no doctor is gonna say for certain that I don't have nerve damage and I wont have tests for such mild pain.

    I want to commit and fully believe its TMS but just can't get over the hump.
  2. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Pingman,

    I have to say, I can totally relate to your post. Quite often we have wonderful days, followed by doubt, uncertainty and we question the diagnosis.

    The hardest part in healing is to letting go of our old habits and negative thinking. But many have done so, with practice, dedication and persistency.

    I think because you've had surgery on your lung, you're more than likely at a heightened level of anxiety and fear. You could benefit from incorporating a meditation practice into your life.

    Meditation and mindfulness has numerous benefits; including increased immune function, the ability to be aware and not react, social connection, increased compassion empathy.etc - to mention but a few. All the components of our well being.

    I'd practice deep breathing, if you are able to. Filling your lungs up with oxygen which help help calm your second mind and stimulate healing. Whilst repeating a positive affirmation...

    "I will take the time to breathe. Breathing deeply from my diaphragm brings oxygen to my brain and body, giving me energy and mental focus."

    However, one looks at illnesses, the recent neuroscience summit has only but enforced how important the mind is in creating and healing our bodies. If I were you I'd highly recommend signing up, or joining the thread. Our bodies are stronger then you can imagine and our brain, mind-body have the inate ability to heal, as long as we can learn to quieten our minds.

    Wishing you all the best on your journey to healing,

    Your friend,

    plum and tgirl like this.
  3. Pingman

    Pingman Well known member

    Thanks Mike -

    It always helps me when I can get positive replies from members. One of the issues I have is I can't talk with anyone about it at home. My wife and parents think it should be as easy as just stopping in one day. I beat TMS before the other times so easily, I saw results within a couple of days and within a few months I was healed. This time has dragged on longer and that has increased the fear and belief maybe I am messed up.

    I do need to meditate, I did that before when I healed last time. My biggest issue is I self check because the pain is there with every step. I wake up and think wonder what my feet will feel like so I examine when I get out of bed. I check when I get up from watching TV, my desk at work. I can't break the check cycle because I feel the pain so I want to see if its gone the next time I walk.
  4. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    You're welcome. I think when it comes to healing we put far too many expectations on self. Much like meditation we shouldn't seek an outcome or results, this should be a natural byproduct of working through the process. That said, we shouldn't clock watch when healing -since our subC has no concept of time, so in reality, one is only frustrated or unhappy when results are not attained. The same goes with monitoring and scoring pain, the more we fixate on it, the more we will worry and ramp up the fight or flight. The key is to step back from self and change ones relationship with pain and to think healthy. After all our thoughts define our relationships and ultimately our health.

    Unfortunately, with TMS healing being surrounded by people who show empathy, compassion is extremely important in healing and their own well being. If we don't feel understood, or we have no social connect, our health disconnects. That said, it's sometimes difficult for those around us to truly understand what we are going through and I say from my own experience, even if others don't understand, rather than be saddened, try and find solace and strength within - whether that be by meditation, or through something you love. A shift in thinking is all it takes for one to activate inner healing.

    Wishing you a wonderful weekend.
    Last edited: May 14, 2016
    plum and oceana15 like this.
  5. Pingman

    Pingman Well known member

    Mike - I am working on the shift in healing. I am challenging myself by wearing a pair of crocs that have nubs inside that bother my feet. Only when I look do I find the pain. I have experienced three really good days in a row with no pain in my shoes. Today I felt a little pain but I am gonna try and ignore it. Appreciate all the help from you as well as all who have helped via private message.
  6. Kat.

    Kat. Newcomer

    I too am struggling with this. Lately my whole rhomboid feels like it is one huge knot! I am having cramping in my sternum and my scalenes are tight and will not loosen. My doc has suggested to see a rhuematolagist because my antibodies are 3hundred something. I Have called 4 different ones. No one can see me in under two months so,I just didn't make the appointment. I am afraid of what they will say.
  7. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    WOW! What country are you located in, I can walk into my doc's office.

    Where's the "rhomboid"?

    What are "scalenes"?

  8. Kat.

    Kat. Newcomer

    Lol I am in the Chicago land area.
    Your rhomboids are on your shoulder blade over the trapezius and scalenes are deep in the sides of your neck.
  9. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thanks for the clarifications, I guess you guys got Obamacare before the rest of us. My doc's office takes walk-ins, thankfully due to my being TMS savvy, I seldom ever have to see a doc, maybe once every five years for some anti-itch cream for hot-tub rash. I got an RX for dicofenac sodium (Volteran), that I'm playing around with for arthritis pain, the same day from the office's PA. I can't recall ever having to wait for a specialist referral more then a few days. When my GP thought I had a "pinched nerve" he just sent me across the street to a neuro for an EMG. But, I've been around long enough to remember when doctor's were family doctor's and made house-calls for severe sunburns.

    That's a long time for you to be in a fear state that it's structural. I suggest, since this is the TMS site, that you STOP thinking and talking STRUCTURAL, and switch your focus to the psychological/emotional. If you're not sure what is bugging you (if it's TMS), peruse the Holmes-Rahe list for the possibilities for the emotional causes of TMS stress dis-ease. You don't need to wait two months to do that.

    It's unconscionable to me that the current medical-industrial complex keeps someone in struggling in a fear state for two months. I think if your GP doc was worried that it was something SERIOUS he would have sent you to the the ER right off, if that helps you alay your fears--and there's always a malpractice lawsuit and a big settlement to look forward to if he screwed up badly.

    plum likes this.
  10. Kat.

    Kat. Newcomer

    Im not 100 percent happy with my doctor. Im also not one that goes to the doctor often and i especially do not like taking pills willy nilly. I just thought before i went with the TMS theory i had to rule out anything serious as my blood work did come back postive for higher antibodies.(whatever that means) Oh i can think of a few things that would trigger this emotionally in paticular. I also had a prettyy bad motorcycle accident almost 5 years ago now which is when this all started. Alot of VERY emotional things happened in 2011,2012 for me. I have been trying to ignore or should i say not be afraid of the pain. Its hard to ignore as i have a very physical job and one of my biggest worries is not being able to do my job. This is not just a job for me.Its my career. I have over 18 years vested towards my pension. I have listend to two of Johns audio books. I want to start doing some yoga every day but that is easier said than done. I am on the midnight shift now and i dont sleep well. I have limited if not any energy to work out.Last time i worked out i had to take two days off of work because i injured myself on the bloody row machine!. I used to be able to do soo much more at the gym pre-accident.
  11. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thanks for the update, that helps.

    Can you get a new doc? Can you see or consult with a TMS physician or practitioner?

    Can you get a copy of your labs and have a medical type interpret the blood work?

    I would think if the labs showed something "serious" your doc would not have you waiting two months to see the rheumy.

    Do you have access to a pool? I run in the pool with a flotation belt while listening to a waterproof FM/MP3 for thirty minutes almost daily, and some back-stroke for a stretch after tennis. It's my aerobic maintenance program , there's light resistance for the entire body below the nose and I get to relax to some tunes. I sleep well at night without feeling overly fatigued if I do much more. I did an hour run in the pool recently but it took too long to recover to make it worth it, a half hour goes by fast.
    plum likes this.
  12. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    I second Tom's advice to favour pool-based exercise. Aside from being supportive and gentle, swimming pools as with all wild water places induce what scientists affectionately call blue mind. This is a calm and balanced state of being which tells us our parasympathetic nervous system is online and manifests in lovely, limber feelings in mind and body. It helps make us more resilient too which is incredibly important for coping with stress and let's face it, we all have stress in our lives.

    I also like the pool for the ambience and this is enhanced if your pool has a hot tub, sauna, steam room...there is a geniality and banter between water babies that I've not found in classes or gyms. Indeed gym bunnies who pop into the pool post-workout seem worked up and tight in contrast to the more relaxed swimmers. Their adrenalised state is palpable. I intend that as an observation only, not a criticism. It is simply something I've noticed through my tms-lens.
    mike2014 likes this.

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