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Day 5 Journalling

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Picklechick, Mar 29, 2018.

  1. Picklechick

    Picklechick New Member

    Today I decided to journal about the first feelings of guilt that I experienced. I was 4 years old and my parents had put me and my sister to bed. She was 2 years old. I remember asking for a drink of water and was refused. I remember lying awake, it was summer, as the room was still bright, and becoming quite distressed as I was really thirsty. I began calling to my parents and crying for a drink of water. No one came. I knew not to get out of bed as there would be punishment.

    Instead, in a rage, I ripped up a new pop-up story book that my dad had brought home for me that evening. I then took my sister's book off her and did the same thing. At some point, my dad came in to the room. I expected to be beaten, but wasn't, and he removed the ruined books and went away. I remember feeling really bad and crying. I still carry feelings of guilt from this episode. Guilt that I destroyed the books, guilt about the cost of them. I don't think I ever threw a tantrum after that right through to my adult life. Why did I feel guilty at 4 years old?!

    I think that starting this journalling exercise will reveal alot about me to myself. I look forward to seeing what my journey reveals.
     
    Ellen likes this.
  2. Lynn S

    Lynn S Peer Supporter

    Keep u the good work.
     

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