Hi Everyone Im one week into journalling (im doing the unlearn your pain programme over on Dr Schubiners site). No results yet (apart from maybe feeling a bit worse? I know this can happen though). Im still hopeful however and at the very least feel calmer and am trying my best to practice radical acceptance of my symptoms. I have a question regarding journalling about FUTURE stressors (if there's such a thing). I really think intense sadness and grief is at the heart of my TMS issues. I have posted before, but to quickly explain, my husband and I have been trying to have children for almost 10 years and have been doing IVF treatments for the last 3. We had some initial success (8 embryos frozen which is a very good outcome) but have had 4 transferred separately but none have stuck/resulted in pregnancy. The threat of not being able to have Children, after everything Ive put myself through feels absolutely soul crushing, but the issue is, that it hasn't actually happened yet. This is what I mean by a "Future Stressor". I have felt for many years (even pre IVF treatment) that I'm in a constant state of grief limbo. Its hard to grasp how devastating infertility can be, and how difficult the longing for a Child can be to carry when it is so beyond your power to make it happen. IVF has intensified this grief limbo. It was always my secret "playing card" that I hoped Id never have to play as it were, but after 6/7 years I felt that I had to try it because nothing else was working. Now that ive played it and the IVF and its not working, that grief feels closer than ever. My husband and I have agreed we wont do another cycle after our remaining embryos are used up, so the dream will well and truly be over. The issue I have is that I feel a sadness currently (current stressor) about my infertility in general and the struggle and pain of the last 10 years, but I also feel the threat of the wall of grief I feel like im hurtling towards. I feel stuck because we still have 3 embryos left (4 used, one did not survive thawing) so there is STILL a chance it MIGHT work. I have to maintain some hope for those 3 otherwise what's the point? But its such a struggle to keep that grief at bay. I hope that makes sense? I feel the weight of grief all the time but feel like I cant fully enter into it because right now I have to keep the faith that there's still a chance. So my question is, how do I journal about this? how do I feel a very real sense of grief over something that hasn't quite happened yet? Or hopefully may not even happen? It feels like to truly "feel" it would be to accept defeat. Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.