I look to the next item on my list to journal. Ahh...me at the age of six being forced to watch "The World At War" as a weekly regimen. Oh shit! all of these thoughts are popping into my head. Did my mother need company, did she think she was contributing to my education. Why is my brain scrambling to make excuses for her. Yep, I caught it making excuses. Something its been doing all of my life to cover up my feelings. This is my journaling foreplay #1 I need to resist thinking about this. Don't know how far I'll get. The important thing is to get started. I can always finish it later. Journaling foreplay #2 DISCONNECT! Yes disconnect that's how I can do this assignment. Journaling foreplay #3 Wow this is pretty amazing. I saw my brain do all of those things in under twenty seconds and didn't judge myself. When it was all said and done I had three long paragraphs of this foreplay and one paragraph of feeling the impact of the bombs dropping and vibrating through the cells of my body. This was two days ago. I still need time with this before moving on. It's a good thing this is a process and not a race.