So my sister is getting married on Friday, out of the country. I am taking summer classes in grad school as my parents spend every call asking "when are you going to be done with your masters, when will you be married" We had discussed it's ok if I don't go to the wedding as I have many deadlines at this time, and was in the process of getting an internship (which I now have) when decisions were being made. They said that one of my other sisters was not going to make it either as she had residency. Then every few weeks they go back and forth and say "how about you go" and then back to "no its ok." Today, two days before when it had already been decided it was not possible for me to go, they say my other sister who was not going to go decided to go (maybe she felt guilty and is going, I dont know. Coincidentally she is the only other family member who has had severe TMS). So now they told me to talk to her. I feel very yanked around by this as they should have made up their mind and stuck with it. I can only imagine others around them are asking and pressuring them "why is he not going" as when I spoke to someone about this weeks back, literally a day later my parents changed their mind again. I feel conflicted because on the one hand I don't want to miss this, but also i'm being pressured to do all these other things which are ALREADY IN MOTION and will go off the tracks if I just stop what I'm doing midway. It will have a bad and permanent impact on my future. It's already impossible for me to go at this point so I don't know what they are getting at. I am also apprehensive about seeing any of them in the near future (visiting on holiday) as I can just see this point coming up again and again and again. This is how I felt growing up as I felt like I was on my own and no one really understood my position and just wanted me to do what would make them happy(particularly their ego) and would make them look the best. I guess this is not uncommon, but that doesn't make it any more upsetting to feel disconnected from your own family on this level. It's weird to think your own family doesn't know what your real dreams and desires are out of life. I feel some combination of guilt, anger, and fear.