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Journaling and symptom shifting

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by MissShamrocks, Feb 3, 2018.

  1. MissShamrocks

    MissShamrocks Peer Supporter

    I have had a recurrence of TMS over the past month. At first I didn't believe it to be TMS, because I believed the arthritis in my SI joints was something serious and I could make worse by bending, kneeling, lifting, sitting, etc (just listing those is tiring). I starting reading one of Steve O's books and it really started to make sense that it was TMS, but still, over the past years of my journey, I felt something was missing. I wasn't sure what it was. I had some therapy, I did a few mind/body programs, which all definitely helped, but my pain never shifted in a way that was a WOW moment.

    I got linked to Nicole Sachs' book on Amazon. I thought, why not, I'll give it a try. The first few chapters, I really wasn't connecting to but stayed the course and I'm glad I did. When she started to explain her own journey with pain and told stories of some of her clients, I was blown away. Their pain was even more debilitating than my own and journaling helped them? Okay, I'll give it a go. I made the lists that she suggested and crossed off my first topic. And boy did I let it that anger come out! I was saying things I was consciously aware of, and other things were much deeper. No shift in pain yet, but didn't expect that. I'm trying to be as patient with myself and this process as I can even though I'm OVER living in pain.

    Day two - I wrote about a situation with a long time friend that occurred a week or so before the pain came on. It was something that left me very angry....enraged even. I was deeply hurt by her actions but I felt the anger more than the hurt, I then tend to numb out after the initial "pissed off moment." When the pain came on, my focused shifted (tricky, tricky) to the physical pain. So I sat down, back hurting, pen to paper and hauled off on her for a good 15 to 20 mins. When I was done, my pain level dropped from a 5 to almost non existent. It was my ah-ha moment! I knew I had rage in there, but never really knew how to get it OUT of my body. I sat there, closed my eyes and just noticed the sensations in my body for a few minutes. Not trying to change them, just being an observer. I am really hopeful this time and it may not be linear or take one journaling session, but I know I will be okay.

    Has anyone else experienced a shift in symptoms like this from journaling?
    Saffron and Jules like this.
  2. Jules

    Jules Well known member

    Yep. I felt the pain shift, amd now do it on a daily basis, to where all I need to do is think about a different site for the pain to go (some pains are better than others) and viola! It MOVES there! If that is not a 100% confirmation that it is TMS, I don’t know what is.

    Get it all out there. Remember, though, pain is also from feelings of not wanting to be felt, in this way you don’t know you’re feeling them. The brain is very tricky and will use any excuse to distract you, because it thinks it’s protecting you. Acknowledge that it’s protecting you, and then do it anyway. ;)
    Lynn S likes this.
  3. MissShamrocks

    MissShamrocks Peer Supporter

    Got it! It's interesting that you can literally move the pain from one pain are to another. YES, that is total confirmation! Thank you for sharing :)
    Jules likes this.
  4. Lynn S

    Lynn S Peer Supporter

    YES YES YES... Reading your post is no coincidence for me. Well, nothing is anyway ha ha. I almost want to cry, probably would if I weren't so good with repression but anyway MY JOURNALING APPEARS TO HAVE MADE MATTERS WORSE. Hence, why it's been at least five days I've been finding other things to do on my TMS time.

    I'm just realizing I'm afraid to journal. I noticed my TMS shifts around my body. OK, it's manageable, right hips better, left knee hurts, right arm still numb but at least the severe pain on my blades have improved. Almost three weeks I tore my meniscus and I'm on my fifth day still in bed due to my lower back. DAMN. I'm tired of hearing myself.

    My back is strong enough to sit up and down so I'm returning to work in two days. I'm working on healing my knee but have to not let this fear take over to stunt my inevitable growth.

    Let's face it I'm sure we all have experienced getting to the other side of some traumatic ordeal. I need to keep that in front of me and get on with making it through this. All of us who choose the other side can make it if we we we can. Like Nike says. Let's do it.
  5. MissShamrocks

    MissShamrocks Peer Supporter

    Lynn, I'm so sorry you are going through all of that! Yikes! I GET what you mean, as I was just watching a video Nicole did on feeling resistance to journaling and that it can make you feel worse before you get better, so that is TOTALLY NORMAL. It's your brain's (annoying way) of protecting you from those crappy emotional feelings. When I journaled yesterday, I felt almost nauseous after. Icky feeling, but I will keep it up no matter what. I realize with that shift that this is what will help. I hope you give it another try! Keep me posted. Hoping you feel better SOON!
    Jules and Lynn S like this.
  6. Lynn S

    Lynn S Peer Supporter

    Thanks for our reply and encouragement. In my healing center we'd call it a healing crisis. Sometimes things regress before they move forward. Now that I've checked on what everyone else is doing in this forum I just might get to the business at hand and get to the journaling. Hahaha. I'l believe it when I see it.
    MissShamrocks likes this.

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