Looking back at my journal entries, the most prevalent emotions are guilt/over-responsibility, a persistent sense of pressure or “heaviness” (feeling like I have to hold things in) and suppressed anger that often shows up later as irritability or self-criticism. I notice a strong pattern of trying to keep the peace, not wanting to disappoint people, and feeling like I need to perform or get things “right,” especially in relationships and at work.
Underneath that, there is also a lot of sadness,particularly about how early I learned to minimize myself and take responsibility for other people’s emotions. What’s encouraging is that alongside these emotions I’m increasingly feeling relief, self-compassion, and hope. I’m starting to recognize my triggers more quickly, set gentler boundaries, and respond with less fear and less compulsive monitoring.
Underneath that, there is also a lot of sadness,particularly about how early I learned to minimize myself and take responsibility for other people’s emotions. What’s encouraging is that alongside these emotions I’m increasingly feeling relief, self-compassion, and hope. I’m starting to recognize my triggers more quickly, set gentler boundaries, and respond with less fear and less compulsive monitoring.
