It's my favorite time of year, BUT..

Depression. I've had relatively minor bouts of it since I was a young teen. Over the years I was on and off medication for it several times. I've opted not to take a prescription for it. Oftentimes I wonder if that's a smart or stupid decision.
I love autumn. It's a peaceful, calm season to me. But (I'm assuming) the lack of sunshine throws me into depression every year. It makes me miserable and I hate it.
Last night I was loving on my hubby, and out of nowhere it hit me like a ton of bricks...he noticed it too, and before I could do anything the tears were flowing.

Generally my depression doesn't come out as sadness...it shows as my emotions being flat, and as irritability. I'm sick of it. Any tips? I don't want another miserable winter. By the end of last winter TMS had a strong grip on me, and I don't want that to become my new cycle.

 

Sadness is a perfectly healthy emotion that anyone can feel at a loss or disappointment. It's okay to feel sad. Don't try to push it away. Don't get down on yourself if you aren't always chipper. It's your right to feel whatever you feel.

Depression comes when you are hard on yourself -- when you expect too much of yourself, or don't practice self-compassion.

Try listening to your sadness. It may tell you what you can do to bring more joy into your life.

I hope this helps.

 

Sunshine helps us with vitamin d. I am lucky that I live in a sunny place and I try to spend time outdoors everyday.

 

Try to capture any negative thought - no matter how strange, or out-of-place, or shameful, or scary - that you might have had in the moment before the "ton of bricks" hit you. There may have been something that triggered a negative thought that your brain immediately had to shut down - which it might very well do by producing a wave of depression.

I know that this was the case with me when I started experiencing depression "Before Sarno". And it did come in waves that were almost physical in their sudden effect. "Ton of bricks" describes it really well.

The trick is to force yourself to find the triggering thought or emotion, because your brain really really REALLY wants to repress it. And it might not be pleasant to look at, but the reality is that once you are willing to bring it into consciousness and acknowledge it, it has no power to hurt you, and your brain gives up the repression mechanism.

In a relationship, it could be anything, and given the circumstances, I won't even conjecture a guess . But let's take an example of a new mother. At the same moment that she's cuddling and enjoying her new baby, it's perfectly normal for a random negative thought to occur about how her life is now tied to this demanding being for the next 18 years - and that her former life of freedom and independence is totally gone. Ack! Brain panics! Brain represses! Brain produces a distracting symptom!

My 2 cents, Mad.