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Day 17 It's all making sense

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Plz568, Nov 8, 2016.

  1. Plz568

    Plz568 Peer Supporter

    What I like about this program so far. I like the rigor - the daily work required to stay in tune with myself. Every morning before my family wakes up, I head right to my computer to begin my day. I am so interested in healing and I can tell you, that already, on the 17th day, my pain is 95% gone. I am totally with it and supporting this daily work with visualizations and meditations. I am also reading Scott Brady's book which has helped me understand how to Pain Talk. This has been so beneficial to me. I see the link between the subconscious mind and the conscience mind and you actually can talk to the subconscious. It is working - I have had some very hard and emotional releases - almost everyday during these last 17 days. I am not afraid. These scary repressed feelings come up and I stay with them and let them out. I feel lighter - like I am walking on air. I can feel the difference between the heavy emotional weight on my mind and the lightness that occurs when I release these emotions. I have to keep working at it because I have 30 years of the habitual thought patterns - but I am motivated - I am on to something and it feels so good (thanks to SEP). It feels better than therapy. I am doing this on my own. I said to my husband this morning. "what am I going to do when I have no problems anymore?" Can you believe this question! I will look at this question with openness and allowing energy rather than staying in my pain and being closed, restrictive and afraid. Who knows what the next chapter in my life will be. Maybe it will allow me to just be. Contentment with what is. I have never felt contentment with what is. I was running from the past, worried about the future, am I good enough - what is going to happen...........Today I am content and all those questions do not exist - I am being instead of doing and I am feeling contentment right now. It is a such a gift.
     
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  2. Shells

    Shells Peer Supporter

    That's awesome! Thank you for sharing hope!
     
  3. Plz568

    Plz568 Peer Supporter

    Shells,
    I read your post from a few days ago and I almost replied to it but then I thought to myself, maybe I am not long enough in the program to offer you advice. My feelings are your feelings I promise you. I cannot tell you how hard I was on myself - the self loathing - the critical voice on a regular basis. As I go through the program I really get in touch with that pain. It has been fear, anger, pain, the biggest thing Ive worked through is my voice and speaking up - my feelings matter and I can tell you as a child they absolutely did not. I was told that I was never wanted all throughout my life and it has effected me so much. If you can, try and feel the pain through the emotions - journaling helps so much and they will release. It really is amazing. I have had a good cry everyday for 17 days. I am tired of living with my pain, Your feelings/emotions/pain will come up and release in their own time. Please love yourself. Figure out who that critical voice is deep inside - the one that is telling you those unloving thoughts and feelings. For me it was my dad - I have slayed that voice - you will too. Hang in there!!!
     
    Shells likes this.
  4. Shells

    Shells Peer Supporter

    Thank you Plz
    I have little voices from some bullies and things but I don't know who the original critic was/is. I may never know and that's okay.

    Yes I am crying every day too. Even if I do t do the SEP that day. My anxiety levels are crazy high. Fear, sadness, shame and Some anger. Mostly fear.

    The pain is crazy today and I feel some fear about it. But I do know it is absolutely coming from the tension. Current stressors are triggering me tremendously along with my difficulty in staying in the day and letting go of worrying about outcomes of multiple situations. I will not give up today!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 14, 2017
  5. Plz568

    Plz568 Peer Supporter

    I'm so so sorry you are feeling such strong emotions - it is so hard to go through and so scary. You are going to be okay. The emotional releases wear me out sometimes for the entire day. Be so glad you are not giving up and everything is temporary - every moment is temporary and moments are always changing. Falling out of center - coming back to center - stay with it and be easy on yourself. Easy on yourself - so important - no pressure. I teach yoga so I always stay with my breath. Long slow steady breaths. In for 5 slowly - out for 6 or 7 or 8 slowly. Do just 5 repetitions of that. It is calming to mind and body. It really works. Much love to you today.
     
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