It doesn't matter, man !

miquelb3

Well known member
In my honest opinion one of the main sources of chronic pain, so unconcious rage (from your inner child), is the increasingly conviction, along the life, that the VAST majority of our dreams, projects, wishes and desires NEVER will be fulfilled... because of LACK of means, intelligence, resources, contacts, influence, opportunities, luck,....
The real solution: "It doesn't matter". So, detachment, indifference and full acceptance of our human condition.

Opinions welcomed. Thanks.
 
I think this is the essence of the book The Power of Now, which is probably one of the most profound things I ever read. For me, it's about APPLYING the concept rather than simply understanding and appreciating it.

It's certainly in line with the 'perfectionist' traits a lot of us seem to have.

As I said, it's how to apply this.?

I think a big part (or maybe all) of the answer is mindfulness meditation, being in the moment and not continuously looking back or forwards. I've surprised myself with how much I actually refer to either the past or the future in my mind's 'chatter' which I'm becoming a lot better at observing.
 
It is some kind of "Waiting for Godot"
Godot will never come, and therefore our wating will never end. And life goes on in this way. Rage and pain for the very sensitive human beings. That's our human condition.
 
I like the ‘waiting for Godot’! And if we wait and search forever we will not find the ‘one’ deep insight that will heal us for ever. This would be Hollywood healing :) (oh, I am waiting for the reality show on ‘how I healed my TMS’).
Well, in my experience it matters how you look at your past. If it is an excuse for how you are doing now, then you are getting it wrong. But to understand the past helps to understand from where we are coming and helps also not to be hard on us. As a child e.g, you had no other option than to please your parents and hide your anger. But this is not an excuse to not act differently now. Because you are an adult now and you have the capability of changing your way of thinking and your behavior. I am not saying that this is easy, we all struggle, I guess. It helped me tremendously to acknowledge that this a challenge that one absolutely can succeed with. And it doesn’t happen over night, you need to overcome past experiences over and over again. But you can succeed.
Sometimes I look at some of my past so-called deep seated believes with great astonishement. Did I really believe this?
So, some ideas about myself or about what to achieve simply vanished, as well as some ideas of how human beings should be etc. That’s called experience and learning. And hurray for that!
 
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I love this forum, it is so thought provoking.
Over the last week I have gone from seeing TMS and the healing process as a 'battle' or something I 'have to do' or 'an almost impossible challenge'
What I've realised is the more I try to find the magic answer the further away it seems.
I've stopped looking for immediate relief and answers, tried to be more present, be proud of myself for finding a new way of thinking, and gently move my thought processes in the right direction.
What's that phrase about happiness being about the journey not the destination? It's never been more relevant
 
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