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Is it possible not to be repressing anger/rage?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Davideus85, May 20, 2021.

  1. Davideus85

    Davideus85 Peer Supporter

    The more I dig into my feelings and my past experiences, I haven't been able to bring up any anger or rage. I have, however, uncovered a whole lot of sadness. Very deep sadness. Sadness about feeling abandoned as a child, not feeling loved, not being good enough for others, sadness that I will never have the things in life I desire most, and so on. I know a lot of psychologists think anger is actually a cover emotion for sadness. Dr. Sarno might have argued the opposite, that sadness is a cover emotion for rage that is underneath it all. In any case, I absolutely do not know how to access feelings of anger except as displaced anger. If I'm dealing with a lot of emotional issues on a particular day, it does come out as intense road rage and frustration on a whole bunch of things going on in the world that has nothing to do with my life. I wonder if displaced anger is a indicator that there is real inner/repressed rage that has yet to be expressed?
     
  2. Duggit

    Duggit Well known member

    In The Mindbody Prescription Sarno said displaced overt anger "at something relatively unimportant . . . instead of at your spouse or a parent, because the latter is simply not allowed by your psyche . . . . is very common among my patients."

    As for anger being a cover emotion for sadness, Intensive Short Term Dynamic psychotherapy (the model Sarno's chief psychologist preferred) flips it around: Sadness that a person is conscious of can be a defense mechanism to repress his or her anger at a loved one and guilt about the anger.
     
  3. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    As for anger being a cover emotion for sadness, Intensive Short Term Dynamic psychotherapy (the model Sarno's chief psychologist preferred) flips it around: Sadness that a person is conscious of can be a defense mechanism to repress his or her anger at a loved one and guilt about the anger.

    I see this, particularly in a sort of depressive sadness. I usually see that the anger, once expressed, often reveals sadness underneath.

    Davideus85
    Dr. Sarno believed that any difficult feeling which "does not want to be felt" can be the cause of TMS. His short list, beyond anger included sadness. I think it is a very deep, profound emotion, and like anger, many of us don't want to feel this.

    Regarding your desire to feel and understand, I think that you need not worry. You're feeling, you're considering "is there more, what do I feel right now?" This is great. Being curious and willing to feel more deeply and to wonder for yourself what is going on is the practice. I hope you don't put too much pressure to "feel more" or even "get to the bottom of ____" in order to treat the TMS. It is a process over time, and one of the pieces is a growing tolerance for what was once 'unconscious' ---and with this an expansion of range and skills and courage. And with this, more fluidity. It seems like you're doing this. Beyond this it is patience and not worrying too much about fixing ---in the psychological work.
     
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  4. hecate105

    hecate105 Well known member

    Sadness also shows grief and that is an important emotion to process... just work your way thru - we all are different!
     
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  5. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    Any negative emotion can be hurtful to the body if it is repressed. It doesn't matter whether it is x or y emotion, more that you have processed it, and addressed what needs to be addressed about what you're upset about (to either not do something or do something), find closure on your response basically. Somatically, you're going to develop more capacity and energy to process emotions.
     
  6. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I was not able to find any anger or rage either. What I found instead was a complete lack of emotions in me. I froze them, they were gone. It took me at least a year of mindfulness effort and meditation to recover my emotions. It has been 5 years since, but I still catch myself habitually suppressing my emotions instead of living through them. It is not an easy work, but it paid off: I am fully recovered from my pain and I live a much happier life because I am in a better place through understanding my emotions and learning every day how to properly handle them.

    Since you do have your rage unleashed, you need to learn how to manage it. You are almost there.
     
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  7. hecate105

    hecate105 Well known member

    Like TG957 - my husband found that he was 'numb' - just did not have emotions.... He worked his way thru the SEP anyway and has managed to engage with his emotions again - it almost like the flipside of repressing emotion! Interesting how many people might experience that - but not really know until they explore their own psyche in a bodymind type of program...but if they don't - might they still end up with tms symptoms too? My husband only did the SEP because he saw the huge difference it made in my life - and in our many conversations about triggers and pain manifesting - he found that back pain he had periodically - indeed had a psychological origin, so he is now free of it!!
    As time goes on I think humans are almost all showing tms symptoms - its just the way we roll....!
     

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