AMarie
New Member
The thing with the food sensitivities is that my naturopath fully endorsed them. Every time I would see her I would have developed a new one and she just laughed it off - "add another one to the list!" she told me... I love her dearly and I wouldn't be where I am without her, health (psychologically and physically) wise but I definitely think it was her belief that solidified my belief. I didn't know much about TMS then. BUT! I have good news - the other night at my Dad'd birthday dinner I decided to indulge in some foods that I would have avoided before and guess what?! No reaction! I think the amount of sugar I took in was a little overwhelming for my body but other than that I was/am fine! I am heading in the right direction!
As for what I am doing to address it, Jan, I have journaled a bit about it, but I need to go deeper I think. I know that it has to do with a fear of getting fat again. I have always struggled with overeating under stress and at one point I was really heavy. I lost 70 pounds and am really scared to gain any of it back. That could be the perfectionist. It could also be a form of punishment. I always felt SO guilty for overeating and also I notice the all or nothing thinking here - when I would overeat I wouldn't be able to keep it to once or twice. I would think "well, I did it yesterday so I can do it today, too" which would turn into doing it for weeks, months... Or I would deny it. For example, I would tell myself "it's not like I do it all the time, I can do it this once." But I would say it over and over again until it clicked that yeah, I did do it all the time now. It's like once I start I can't stop. So I think it's my subconscious' way of protection against getting overeating and getting fat. Only problem is it creates a great deal of anger and isolation.
I have also been thinking about how it's almost a "proof" that I am different. I have always felt like the outcast, the black sheep, the one everyone picked on. Food is a very social thing and so the social aspect of eating has been severely limited by my sensitivities. I can't eat where everyone else can eat, etc... It's almost like my subconscious is using it as an excuse to show me just how much of an outcast I really am.
I have started tapping (eft) on food and it has made a huge difference so far. I am going to keep using that and see what happens.
re: re: "It's almost like my subconscious is using it as an excuse to show me just how much of an outcast I really am." I truly believe that I do this, too! It's a self-fulfilling prophesy that our brains somehow manage to manifest in fatigue, pain, etc. Wow. I feel for you, and I also hope it's a bit of a breakthrough for me, as I'm suffering from fatigue now and trying to break down all the psychological factors that are causing it. Shame and fears are at the top of the list
