Introduction

Hello, my name is Ryan and I’ve been living with my chronic neck and upper back pain/ tension for about 3 years now. I read Healing Back Pain and felt like he was talking directly to me. I don’t read very often but felt compelled to read it. I just wanted to tell my story and find out if my pain could possibly TMS.

Here’s a little of my background, i was diagnosed with ocd when I was around 12-14, my ocd is more personality. I feel guilt, shame, I’m a perfectionist, double checking my work (mechanic) etc… all this gives me anxiety and depression. I have my ups and downs but for the most part between therapy and loving wife I can control it and live a happy life.

When I turned 30 is when my upper back and neck pain started. I don’t have any particular moment it started, it just gradually came on. The pain is more tension/ pressure around c7 on my spine and down my trapezius muscles. There’s no real pattern, sometimes it hurts when I walk, sitting without a back rest, sitting in my office chair, working at my work bench, pushing the lawn mower and some times it doesn’t, but most of the time there’s a nuisance uncomfortable tension. I love dirt bike riding, it’s one of my biggest passions and with in 30mins into a ride my neck always starts to cramp but on some rare occasions it won’t or tolerable. I also get a burning sensation under my left scapula and middle back that comes and goes. Also after I turned 30 I felt like my whole body was falling apart.. I had random pains all over the place, ache knees, thumbs hurt, hip pain, wrist pain and achilles. I couldn’t figure it out, I’d feel great one day and the next I felt like an old crippled man. I’m terrified of injuring my self because I felt so fragile. As of now I’m mostly only dealing with my upper back and neck.

I’ve tried everything, massage, acupuncture, PT, rest, posture correction, chiropractor, x-rays, MRI, epidural injection, inflammation medication, muscle relaxers, and currently taking Nortrypline that I’m going to stop taking. All my imaging comes back fine and the doctors say it’s just muscles, soft tissue or nerves because they can’t see it. Also the imaging for my other pains don’t really show anything and they just say it’s a tendon.

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to share my story and hopefully be able to start on a new path to healing.

 

Welcome Ryan. I'm not an expert...I'm working through all of this too...but I see TMS tendencies positively dripping from your post above.

Symptoms started at 30 - very typical for major milestones in life to make us feel our age.

References to control and also a focus on the structural.

Lots of fear over doing things that you enjoy and support your family.

Aches and pains that come and go and also roam all over the body - typical TMS.

If you're just getting started, you've got a lot of work to do. Read (and re-read) the books. Listen to some Mindbody podcasts (I like Edy Lindenstein's "Mind and Fitness"). Read some success stories here. Make a pro/con list for each symptom why/why-not it's structural vs TMS. All of these things help me. Good luck!

 

it’s time to face yourself~ and do the inner work~ which is really hard and a true process with no objective timeline~ but it’s the key to a pain free life. welcome to a strange, harrowing but ultimately deep and rewarding journey
into yourself!