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Day 13 Intense

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Lilibet, Jun 30, 2013.

  1. Lilibet

    Lilibet Peer Supporter

    Yesterday was Day 13, and my journaling ended up being very intense. I've been pretty depressed, despite summer sunshine, and it all crashed in on me as I journaled. It was a horrible meltdown with a lot of anger at myself. But even in the midst of the worst of it, I thought, "This is just more TMS. It's coming out as depression and it's trying to scare me and derail me from looking at deep stuff." So I turned to some comforting reading that calmed me and helped me feel compassion for myself.

    Today, I feel much better emotionally. Even though I had some bad pain this morning, I gently kept going, it passed, and I had a good day. This evening I actually wanted to take a walk! It's still 90 degrees at 8:30, so I guess I'll just walk around my air conditioned house. :)

    Today, day 14, was supposed to be a day off "me day", but I didn't get to do that, so I will give myself tomorrow instead.
    gailnyc likes this.
  2. AngK

    AngK Peer Supporter

    Oooh, a rebel. I like it!
    Glad to hear you're doing well!
  3. Lilibet

    Lilibet Peer Supporter

    LOL. :D Thanks, AngK. It was a nice, lazy, restful day. Felt good.
  4. hecate105

    hecate105 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I've had moments like this too - where the stress and anger all come out and leave you feeling so debilitated. I was also then getting more angry/angsty at myself for putting myself in this position in the first place! But I think you are right in just feel it, let it go and then do something soothing and positive. Its like rewarding yourself for good behaviour! Keep with it...
  5. hecate105

    hecate105 Beloved Grand Eagle

    ooh - and I was sent a link to the TMS Help forum on which Ace1 had put a great post. I printed it out and it has helped a lot with the anger etc at self.
    the link is http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=7765
    it is in the form of 29 ways to help deal with the TMS - really helpful stuff.
  6. Lilibet

    Lilibet Peer Supporter

    Thanks for both of your replies, Jo (is that right?). I like that rather alien concept of "rewarding yourself for good behavior." I think I have spent a lot of my life depriving myself or even punishing myself. It's time to be nurturing.

    I love Ace's list and printed it a couple of weeks ago when I discovered it on TMS Help. It's good to keep mentioning it so newcomers will see it. I wish it could be permanent part of the Wiki (Forest?).

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