Inner Rage !

[RikR]

I was going through older posts this morning and found a post by Dave: “The child inside you is in a blind rage due to the pressures you have chosen to put on yourself”

I can certainly see how this fits my life. I never felt quite well so everything was a push. In fact even now that I am severely compromised I had an offer again to write for a couple of major magazines so I got back into it.

I have been doing story research and outlines for the past three weeks...then looking at all the hoops publishing requires and I had to stop myself and ask “WHY”? I don’t need money but I do need distractions....then I started looking at the pressures or as Ace says “strain”.

Carefully crafting each sentence and wanting to get it right for editor and reader approval, meeting deadlines with long lead times – working with article product providers time lines....IS THIS WHAT A WOUNDED CHILD WOULD WANT???

I feel like my child is in a rage – too many years of college, totally Type A, caption of industry and the answer man for everyone....oh and then there was the 20 year career of fixing broken people, which obscured my own inner damage.

I would love to hear about how anyone else has soothed their inner child when he/she is in constant fits of rage and causing severe and disabling physical symptoms.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Hey Rik - I increased the tiny font that was in your post - maybe more people will read it now - because I'm kind of surprised there are no responses.

I had copied and pasted a quote from somewhere else into one of my posts the other day and it was making me crazy because for the rest of my post the fonts kept going up and down in size. I couldn't fix this using the in-line font-sizer, or even by cutting, pasting into Notepad (to remove formatting), and repasting, so I just published it - but then I discovered I was able to go back in using Edit, and change the font size, which is what I did with yours. Weird. Bug or Browser - take your pick.

In the meantime, I'm trying to think of a response to your question. I wonder if the answer is that "soothing" the inner child generally leads to repression? Part of what we're supposed to be doing is letting that rage come to the surface so we can accept it. Although if the rage is at yourself, that's not good either. So maybe the answer is that you need to step back and love and accept yourself as you are?

I don't know, Rik - it's a conundrum!

Anyone else?

Jan

 

[veronica73]

I feel like self-compassion is the key--self-compassion for all parts ourselves, the rage, the fear, the inner child, the inner-parent, etc.

I really liked Thich Nhat Hahn's book "Anger"--he describes really well how you can greet anger and rage as a friend and hold it with mindfulness.

 

[Endless luke]

It sounds like you are intuiting that it might be good to lessen the amount of writing assignments you are taking. As you mentioned you don't need the money, and it's causing you to feel rage.
I'm still very much working on fixing these issues for myself but I am doing better and some of it has involved being nicer to myself.