INNER RAGE

Hello All
I am hoping that someone can tell me that they have experienced what I have been experiencing and offer some thoughts or advice. This has been going on in my life for quite some time, but I have e just started recognizing it (the rage) I have.
This weekend my wife called me and texted me,while I was driving (I was lost and had gone to get gas, we were on a trip), and she was waiting at the hotel (I was late). The phone was hands free, don't worry. However, I just lost it and started screaming and yelling at her on the phone, I yelled so much she was in tears when I finally made it back to the hotel. I apologized and am still ashamed of my behavior. I now recognize that this,was my inner child! My rage usually surfaces weekly, but I never recognized it for what it was.
This I guess gets back to what Dr. Sarno was referring to as the rage in the inner child.
The big question is now, what next?

How do I relate this,to the TMS in my leg (pain is an annoying 1-2 constantly) daily and calm the inner child and possibly end the TMS?
I am seeing a therapist and we are working on this.

Any thoughts or experience appreciated!

Steve

 

dear Steve

I actually envy your experience, because I don't seem to dig deep enough to get to the RAGE... even for someone who's been abusing me all my life long all I seem to feel is deepest pity (as this person is very deranged)...

I suppose for you it's great as you felt it and recognized it deeply, and that is the important step on the road to healing!
be patient and good luck

 

SME61. I think you were just frustrated about driving lost. The anger came from frustration, and your wife calling gave you someone to vent your frustration. I would just put it down to something that happened and forget it. Do something nice for your wife, or give her something like a flower, to make up to her.

 

I can attest to Walt's point. It's quite common to lash out at someone close, even though they aren't the source of the current anger. It's important to explore your rage, but also make amends to those you hurt (especially a spouse). Forgive yourself for the incident, as I'm sure your wife has already forgiven you. Doing something special for her will make you BOTH feel better.

 

Hi Steve,

I think you have good evidence of the "reservoir of rage" that Dr. Sarno talks about. This is the rage that "we would rather not feel," so instead, TMS symptoms arise. You are fortunate to have a hint of the workings inside you, which are directly related to your mind-body symptoms. With TMS work, you won't "get rid of the rage." You simply see that this is part of the fuel which is causing symptoms. Your understanding of the real cause of the symptoms undoes the need for the symptoms to continue. You see and acknowledge your rage.

Rejecting yourself for your rage only creates more inner tension. Yet we don't want to act out...

As you inquire into what brings on your anger, or why you would rage at your wife --the how and whys of what is getting triggered, you'll learn to be more skillful in your treatment of yourself, understanding your boundaries, and clarity with others. The anger is sometimes about our uncertain boundaries, so we feel put upon. Then pissed off.

Andy B