Injured Lifter, new to thread

Greetings all, and happy new year! First time poster long time sufferer...

Looking for some advice as I start my TMS journey in 2019.

A bit about me, 41, weightlifter from Vancouver BC with some definite OCD, anxiety, perfectionist behavioural patterns...

This is about the 5th time I’ve injured myself is the past 7 years or so. The pain always in my lower right side and a bit into the hip...It doesn’t come from out of nowhere, each “injury” happened specifically at the tail end of a workout where I was pushing maximum weight for a 1 rep max. (Ie. Squats, Snatches...) and felt the pain hit.

The first few times I was prescribed some pain meds and Physical Therapy and eventually recovered within the span of a few months...

Fast forward to October 2017, my back had been getting progressively sorer and sorer over the months from a heavy Squat related program. Between warmups. Rolled out on my trusty mobility ball and instantly felt that familiar pull/pain sensation and down I went...

This time it was different however, the pain was not as searing as in past occasions but as of 2019 has not gone away. Now I pretty much just live with it. I’ve spent the last year zig-zagging between Chiropractors, Osteos, Physical Therapists and scaring the crap out myself reading too many Low back articles online. Trying various exercises and stretches and ab strengthening routines from the Stuart McGill “Back Mechanic” school of treatment but have yet to make any real progress.

Yet I still tried my best to workout. Can’t run or sprint? Fine, I’ll push a sled or do farmer’s walks or use kettlebells. Can’t bench? Fine I’ll floor press. Can’t deadlift or back row? Fine I’ll do reverse bench rows and flyes. Stupid back, you can’t stop me!

An MRI in June 2018 said I have about three bulging discs, stenosis, arthritis—whatever...

I still remember My Doc’s words: “Do Physical Therapy and take it easy...”

I took that as work out harder. I rehabbed harder. Nothing was going to stop me. But the pain started getting worse. I started cutting off exercises left and right, figuring I could bring them back when the rehab started working...

Come September 2018 things were not going well I stopped working entirely so I could “focus on my back”....That should work right? Well, I just got worse. Sciatic tweaks, pins and needles, dizziness, terrible anxiety attacks, fear I’d wake up paralyzed or with Cauda Equina syndrome....I went from somewhat mobile and still in pain, to barely mobile and in a lot more pain. Fear of moving suddenly rules my life.

Reading Sarno’s work has been and an eye-opening experience. I’m doing my best to return to normal activities but holy-hell is the Fear gripping me tight. I tried jogging this past week with so-so results. The pains are muted but there. I have yet to try any “big lift” type of maneuvers and am just trying to enjoy free movements again. This has been the hardest part for me.

Just wondering if there are any other lifters out there going through similar problems?

Love and peace to everyone!

 

I have some lifting experience but not to your degree. A few thoughts, in my opinion:

Forget McGill. It's a ridiculously simplistic theory of pain, and harmful in equating pain with damage. It's the opposite direction of where you want to go. The big three don't even work. (I went down the McGill road for three solid months. No flexion, not even once, for three months. It messed up my thinking and my body. My girlfriend and family were thrilled when I stopped.)

Target the anxiety. That's where you'll get major results, since you'll do more and more activities pain free, which will build confidence in your body again, which will lead to more pain free activities, and so on. I'm assuming you already believe fully that your symptoms are TMS. If you don't, then reaching that belief is your top priority. If you do believe, then finding the strategies that lower your anxiety is your top priority.

If you haven't already, check out ACE1's tips on this forum, the complete version, not the summarized one. It shows in detail what it's like to target anxiety on an immediate basis to reduce fear and strain.

 

Thanks FOF, I’ll give it a look!

 

You are still mentally invested in a particular outcome. I know this because you sound like me! Ha. You intend to work a program to heal that TMS, and end up back in the gym stronger than ever. Am I right?

I don’t think that’s going to work for you. You have to let go of that outcome, and FULLY except one where maybe you never even lift heavy ever again. Has to be genuine. That is letting go. You aren’t going to be able to just do that right now.

Work the program on here and learn a bit about yourself. Cure the anxiety, perfectionism, etc. become more positive TMS is the issue. Once this pain jumps somewhere else you’ll know for sure.

My symptom imperative was back around this time a year ago doing a warmup set of squats. The pain was the most intense of my life, it WAS TMS, and I added more to my lifts in 2018 than I have done since high school.

 

Thanks for the advice Joe, I definitely have a lot of work to do...Congrats on the lifts!

 

I've recommended this guy before on the Wiki. Eddy Lindenstein is a weightlifter that suffered from TMS is now cured. He has an amazing podcast and also does personal coaching. I'm posting a link to his introductory podcast. https://audioboom.com/posts/6521412-001-introduction-to-eddy-knows-fitness (Audioboom / 001 - Introduction to Eddy Knows Fitness)

 

My man! I am the host of the podcast mentioned above (thank you for the shout HattieNC). I'm a weightlifter as well and went through a hell of a time from essentially October of 2015 until July of 2017 (but LOTS OF things started years earlier that I thought were just result of me being "unlucky").

My podcast is The Mind and Fitness Podcast and it's on iTunes, Spotify, etc. You can find it on Facebook and I'm on Instagram @eddylindenstein

Hit me up if you want to chat about this - I'm stronger now than I ever was before any of this nonsense started. Squats @ 153kg, Snatches @ 89kg, Clean and Jerk @ 120kg, Clean @ 123kg, etc. You can get past this.

 

Eddy! I’ve actually been following your podcasts for the past month. Great stuff!Very inspiring. Yeah, I would definitely like to chat sometime.

Cheers!

And thanks Hattie for the recommendation, great minds!

 

Hey - do you recommend any of your podcasts in particular? Or anything written to share that really worked for you? I'm a former weightlifter; most of this started when training for competition years ago, and then re-emerged a year and half ago in the gym and hasn't vanished since.

 

Probably not any particular one but I would for sure say the episodes that aired in May and later are the most relevant.