increased moving pain..want to give up

Hi folks
2 years burning pain. tingling, numbness in right leg not being able to stand for long, had Mri that showed L4/5 8mm herniation with foraminal stenosis with L5 nerve root compression right side..with moderate herniation at level L5/S1..continued pain and then started the hip pain.Had steroid injection to no avail and anti inflammatory meds didnt work..pain increased and i was scheduled for surgery sept 2014..had very stressful job as a truck driver sitting all day in chicago traffic and being isolated from people and thats not good if your a people person.. i got very mad one day as i was talking to my company on the phone as i was hopping around on my leg in severe pain and wham.......the pain dropped from 8 way down to a 2. Just like that the pain almost disappeared on the spot and surgery was cancelled and got on with life. I moved apartments and furniture removal and it all came back but this time it was in both legs!!!!
I stumbled across Adam Hellers Book "Zero Pain Now" and started to pay attention to my emotions and question them and journal about the stresses in my life from childhood to current life, making the pain get worse. I knew my job was making me angry and issues with my family from childhood to current time had a large part to play in my emotions because i am a pretty sensitive person and i live with Anxiety. I started to read Dr Sarno`s book "Healing Back Pain" and it required 100% belief in the TMS theory and forgoing all conventional treatment and going head long straight into the program. No matter how much i read and re read the book i just couldnt believe that my leg and spine pain was due to repressed emotions that my mind didnt want to deal with. I started running slowly and whilst running the pain was ok to deal with but on my returning home and waking the next day my lower spine would be in pain with the leg pain as well. This gave me doubt in the whole TMS theory and i decided to visit Dr Stracks in Chicago for a correct diagnosis and rule out anything structural, and maybe i could be convinced once and for all.
Dr Stracks asked about my current life situation and stressful situations, and gave me a basic physical exam which was less than i had hoped for, because i wanted him to look at my MRI and rule out anything structural. I came away half convinced and wish i`d asked a lot more questions to convince me of my TMS diagnosis, and move forwards into the treatment. The pain has not really subsided at this point and now its increased into my left leg, though i am aware of the shifting/increasing that Dr Sarno talks about. I have read The Divided Mind and also Molecules of Emotion by Candice B Pert to reinforce TMS Theory and move forwards in my healing. I just started seeing a Psychotherapist who is aware of Dr Sarno and Molecules of Emotion books whilst specializing in analytical psychotherapy and EMDR therapy. Yesterday i had a massive relapse in my Diagnosis of TMS and called my spine center here in wisconsin to talk about having an Injection again whilst at the same time knowing its counter to what i have learned over the past 4 months and the pain is just jumping up and down with glee(lol). Also I revisited spine surgery forums to see what i would feel like after reading the comments by people who lived with chronic radiculopathy and had surgery and guess what? They have no hope whatsoever and most of them are in a constant spiral of self defeat and negative emotions, whilst ill admit im falling down with this pain and dealing with it all on my own im not going to get that down on my self.. I am a 45 year old truck driver sitting for 12+ hours a day and i have a lot of mind time for myself and the pain is on getting out of the truck and standing and i know i have waaay to much mental thought time and focus waaay to much on my TMS....even though ive typed this whole thing im still not sure what im asking here but im hoping that somebody will read this and point me i the right direction and help me at some level of my journey..i know that i focus way to much on TMS but when you are journaling like you are supposed to then what else are you focusing on lol? please can somebody point me in the right direction as i have my appointment in april at the spine center but i really dont want to got and i just want to cancel with hope that i get from this site
cheers Ian

 

Hi, Ian.
Driving a truck can cause back and other pain. But you can get relief if you believe
100 percent that it is from repressed emotions. You got some big relief by yelling at someone at work.
I think you have repressed emotions causing your pain. It's TMS.

I urge you to start the Structural Education Program to learn what emotions you are repressing, probably
even going back to your childhood. You're angry about something and that is causing your pain.

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

Hi Ian, two things popped out at me to prove you have TMS. When you were on the phone with work expressing your emotion your pain fell away to a 2. Can that be explained structurally?

Also, you saw reading about people dealing with their "structural issues" by physical treatments were being nicely distracted by fear and hopelessness from whatever their sub-c was afraid of coming to awareness.
You are on the right journey, but some of us start further from the destination. Don't give up, you have a pain free place ahead of you, and only pain and more worry about it the other direction.

 

Hi Walt thankyou for the advice it's nice to know I'm not alone in this.thsts the hardest part is accepting 100% the diagnosis of TMS and going forwards 100% as I do put way to much stress on myself and I have made searching for TMS emotions my everyday life so I'm focused on it every day lol.
And lizzy your reply was not complete so what popped out at you?
Thank you ian