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In the valley this week

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by stayfit65, Nov 27, 2013.

  1. stayfit65

    stayfit65 Peer Supporter


    I don't post much here, I am mostly a lurker. I have been having a major flare up of back pain and buttock pain this week. It is a stinging, burning pain that drives me nuts when I'm at work. I notice it gets better at home, but it is always there. But this week it has really been annoying. I have known about TMS since April of last year. I try not to get discouraged, but I really am this week, honestly. There is a lot of stress on my job, and I am not sure that I can stay there...I need a job, but not one that is going to make me unhappy every day I'm there. I also have a brother who is divorcing after 30 years of marriage, but both he and his wife are coming to my house for Thanksgiving...I am very nervous of how it's going to go. Also, I have my first half marathon to run in over a year tomorrow. It is going to be 23 degrees when I start, and I am nervous about how that's all going to go. Basically, I am a nervous wreck right now. I don't understand why my back pain continues. I am starting to lose hope that it will ever go away. I've been to see Dr. Schubiner and he looked me over and looked at my films and declared it to be classic TMS. But still the pain is there...why??? I need some ideas of things I can do to heal. I read Healing Back Pain, The Great Pain Deception, The Mind Body Presription. I guess I am wondering if there is anybody out there that took a LONG time to see the pain fade away, and did they have these periodic flareups over time, but eventually they faded away...please someone give me some encouragement...I so appreciate it.
    G.R. likes this.
  2. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    You have a lot of stuff to think about and its boiling over causing the pain as you already know. If I were you Id think in my mind right now about the thanksgiving get together and Imagine with your heart of compassion that every one is getting along just fine and see it as you want it to be. Hear everyone laughing and feel the warm sun as it hits your skin. Think , pretend , imagination, whatever you want to call it but if you do this and expect your race and thanksgiving to turn out just as you imagine I bet you'll thank me for it.

    In the Race do as the Olympians do, they have all proven by science that this works- see yourself running without any pain. Feel the courage and strength of your accomplished race as its already done and you've done better than you ever have.

    This technique is used by every successful person I've ever been around and studied, see it the way you want it to be. Hold this thought for at least 5 minutes then you'll start to feel better. Repeat at least 5 to 7 times OK. Imagine what you want to happen and feel it in your heart that this will happen. If the European Olympics do it and win races more than any other country on a per capita basis so can you.

    Remember though its not based solely on the Race. You can use it for anything you want to accomplish in life. like seeing your Boss or co- workers as giving you less pressure and actually being there for you and building you up. See them smiling and happy to see you and watch what happens. This is truth, just imagine 1 matter at a time the way you want it to be , and feel it in your body, hear the sounds of laughter and hope- its the law of attraction Stayfit65 and its worked for me so many times I cant count it.

    Bless you
    njoy, G.R. and Lily Rose like this.
  3. nancy

    nancy Well known member

    Again, such wonderful advice and hopeful and so right on!! You are such a
    inspiring being! Bless you my friend. I wish I could meet you and your family!
    Have a great Thanksgiving, Nancy
  4. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Stayfit65, You've already received some great advice. (And I too will use it, thanks, Herbie!) My absolute favorite book on dealing with the stressors your mentioning is "How to Quit Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. TIMELESS wisdom spelled out in very simple steps to implement.

    Another suggestion I have is...why not set a timeline to be done with that stressful job? Tell yourself in ____amount of time, you will have a new job that you enjoy. Use the techniques Herbie lined out to picture that great job that is just waiting for you. If you're having trouble implementing a job search, check out Dan Miller's book "48 Days to the Work You Love". It will help you map out a course of action.

    I feel your pain over the time it's taking to healing. I seem to go in fits and starts myself but I also have a lot going on in my life right now. Finding peace in the midst of a storm has become my bigger priority, to a certain extent, even over keeping TMS symptoms at bay.

    Good luck and keep on course! We'll keep each other company on the journey. :)
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  5. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    This ... this ... is the real core of this community. That none of us is alone. We're in it together.

    Thank you for that statement, Beautiful North Star ... it's perfect.

    with grace and gratitude,
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  6. G.R.

    G.R. Well known member

    stayfit65, my dear friend don't lose hope. You will get there. I have had periods where I have had little pain this past 8 months, then I do get
    a flare up and it is usually intense. I have tried to look at the intense pain means I am making progress because my brain is getting upset that
    I am dealing with repressed emotions and is trying to distract me with intensity of the symptoms. I try to stay calm and not start thinking is this
    ever going to go away. I know I am in trouble if I start to have this fatalistic thinking. When I am feeling down about the symptoms, I try to
    do the scripts in the Unlearn Your Pain book by Schrubiner. I find them very powerful. I just keep saying them over and over and over.
    I do find that sometimes the pain will go away. I am trying to be more faithful in my journaling.

    The TMS doctor I go to has explained to me sometimes the pain will intensify when you are getting to the heart of issues. He believes this
    is excellent and to know you are making progress. However, it is not easy when you have been enduring pain for long period of time.
    When I do feel discouraged, I usually post on this wiki and have all my friends here gather around me and cheer me on. I find that
    probably most beneficial.

    Please, know that it has taken me a long time to get the pain to fade away and then I get a flare up. I am still trying to train myself not
    to get upset and just go with the flow. Not easy, though. When I get upset, I find the pain just intensifies. Just remember this, even
    though the pain may intensify it does not mean it will be there tomorrow.

    I just had this really weird leg pain that felt like a pulled muscle but I knew it was TMS. I could not walk on my leg. In the past I
    would of got all bent out of shape but this time I thought I am just going to hang out on the couch and keep busy. I did my scripts
    from Unlearn Your Pain and it was soon gone. That was a real victory.

    You will get to the other side. Don't give up!!! Try to do things that soothe you after work; like enjoy watching a good movie, take a
    bath, listen to music, meet a friend... This will balance the negative feelings you have about work. I trust you will find your dream
    job and this will take some of the stress away.

    Please, continue posting. You will surely find a lot of encouragement here. G.R.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  7. njoy

    njoy aka Bugsy

    Perfect, Lily Rose.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  8. stayfit65

    stayfit65 Peer Supporter

    Thank you to all. Herbie, I love reading your words...thank you for reminding me to picture the outcome I want. I journaled these desires last night. I feel more peaceful this morning. I am going out there and doing this, no stopping me. :)

    North Star, thank you for encouraging me and giving me that book title. I will check that out for sure. I really want to pursue counseling at some point as a career, and I like how you suggested a timeline to get there. You know, I have that Dale Carnegie book and have read it once, so maybe I need to read it again. ;)

    G.R., thank you for validating my needing to vent over symptoms. It is nice to know there are some out here for which the journey is taking a bit longer. I find it hard to whine about symptoms, but sometimes I just need to do it. If you don't mind, I might need to do this sometimes...I really try not to focus on it, but sometimes it gets overwhelming and that usually brings me to tears and trying to reach out to someone for help and encouragement.

    I love to be active, and I hate being still. I need to learn to calm myself at these moments in my current job where I feel antsy and need to "do something." Anybody got any thoughts on how I can do this in my head when I am just sitting in my chair at work? The worst for me is when other people nearby are carrying on a loud conversation and I am trying to concentrate on something but I can't for that noise. I work in a bank lobby so I can't hide behind a door or plug in earphones. I need to figure out something I can say to myself when this occurs. It really blows my concentration when out of the blue someone starts talking loudly or laughing suddenly. I have been called a Highly Sensitive Person. I used to think that was a BAD thing, but now I think it is a gift. Can anybody else relate to this noise sensitivity?

    thank you again, everyone! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  9. Lily Rose

    Lily Rose Beloved Grand Eagle

    Highly Sensitive Person ... oh yes. Oh very yes. Crowds. Noise. Worse, the sudden noise. The tangible, physical pressure of too many people and their wildly flaring energies. Even coming into direct contact, a touch against fingers as something is handed over, or a brush against the arm, a bump from behind .. these cause my body to flinch. To work in a bank lobby, no wonder you have stress. Just standing in line at a bank is difficult. Money has its own peculiar energy and it exudes a certain power. Customers at a bank are often anxious. This can spill over and affect someone who is highly sensitive.

    One time I asked the girl who was counting out cash for me .. "What does it feel like to handle such great sums of money all day?" She answered with a wry smile, "It's just dirty paper." For a moment I just stared at her, then I laughed. I have never viewed money the same. The power was diffused.

    This concept made me reconsider many things. We give power away all the time over things that really don't matter at the end of the day. Yes, money has importance. It is how we obtain the goods and services we need for survival. But it is just a symbol. An exchange of energy.

    Recharging our internal batteries is important. Tension causes the breathing to become more shallow, which reduces oxygen, which increases pain and fatigue. There are many breathing techniques that can be helpful. Alternate Nostril breathing is one. Counting as you breathe is another. You can look up others. Which ever you choose, it is really about pulling in to your quiet place.

    My mom used to say that I was 'too sensitive'. It hurt me because it sounded like a criticism. I was flawed, defective, not-normal. Rather than adjusting to my sensitivity, she believed I needed to 'toughen up'. You can't toughen up someone who is sensitive. It just causes injuries that embed deep in the psyche.

    Too sensitive? No. Everyone else is too INsensitive. Except here, of course, on this forum.

    I also wonder if the sensitivity is linked to introversion.

    When you make your choices, turn inward and really listen to how your body feels about your choices. It really does know. The gut feeling is a real phenomenon. Get beyond the fear. The gut is literally the 'second' brain.

    To paraphrase one of my favorite poems: Rise up in fantastic fashion.

    You have this power.

    with grace and gratitude,
  10. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Stayfit65.
    I suspect your pain was triggered by thoughts of having your divorcing brother and wife to your house for Thanksgiving today.
    There is bound to be a lot of TMS to go around, besides the turkey.
    Maybe try to focus on how good a day you are going to be giving them. It can warm your heart to ease the pain.
  11. stayfit65

    stayfit65 Peer Supporter

    Thanks for thoughts and prayers today. I did my half marathon a little faster than anticipated! It was cold but it was FUN! And Yes, Walt, I think that is exactly the culprit causing the pain. And this morning I had a talk with myself to take one thing at a time, first the race, then the family gathering. They are due to come over around 3, and right now I have a peace about me that I cant explain. I prayed that everything would be joyous and we would enjoy being together. I also nipped at a Smirnoff's so I'm sure that didn't hurt, either.;) Thank you all again, I will continue to stay the course, and I will keep posting...you all are amazing people.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  12. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thank you so much nancy, it means a lot to me that you are a friend of hope. Times get tough but if we just keep walking and thinking in the now seeing greener pastures already within our heart and somehow, always finding a word, the knowledge and joy to keep us going eventually we will reach our goals by accepting that we already have them in a spirit of gratitude and faith. This Thread is so full of words that heal I've been smiling ever since I woke up this morning.

    Ever see that smile with rosy cheeks and glow- well that's me right now. Its a beautiful day to wake up to after thanks giving and see more and more to be thankful for. I'm so thankful for all my friends right here at tmswiki. Thank you nancy for knowing that a word of knowledge mixed with hope and actually seeing it as real as the sunshine that beams at day will always bring to pass exactly the thoughts and needs you hope for.

    It might take some time but enjoy the journey and in the end when alls well and good you'll know that the journey was a pricless peice of joy that youll never forget. Although it tarry, don't be concerned - know that your thought out plans with desire and patience will always come to pass.

    Bless You
    Lily Rose likes this.
  13. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    This is so awesome Stayfit65, I'm so proud that you made that shift. You did exactly what you knew you needed to and now your hope and confidence has
    brought you through. I love the book North Star told you about- its also my favorite author, Dale Carnegie. He has that simplicity we all need. The book is setting on my top book shelf ready at all times in case of emergency. And North stars advice is timeless.

    Wow, and G.R.s advice always is in the now, perfect. She knows how we really need to just talk sometimes and vent. Also ive read so many other post of her journey. All the way she has helped others stay strong and that's a virtue we cant live without.

    And we all know Walts words have the special touch of simplicity to them, a touch of happiness from his heart

    Lily Rose with words so soft and the benefit of breathing is never to be denied

    Now to your question, I have always had low tolerance to noisy situations- always. But one year I had to be around this person that was always making racket while I tried to do my work that consisted of thinking a lot, like you. Well the more Id try to get better and used to it the more this person would get louder and louder. I know it was on purpose but I also knew it was a test;). Yes Id gotten angry and upset, mad, and whatever other - angry emotion you can think of.

    Then I started to think, as long as I allow this noise and chatter to bother me and the more I try to fight it and the more I try to just let it go- well, it just wouldn't stop. So I accepted that it was going to happen. I didn't think it into being - I was about to think it out of being though;)

    I just would go to work and think to myself "well today no matter what noise and chatter I hear im going to stay course and do my work. Now it was rough at first, it was more like trying to fight a bull in the middle of an angry arena. But I persisted and stayed course knowing that eventually Id win or loose and I've never seen a loss yet with persistence, desire and sheer will.

    So I held on, it got worse, I mean folks broke out drills and hammers and started making even more noises around me. ( I persisted ;) ) I knew if I stayed course like I did when I worked out - like I did in my studies- like I did with everything else Id ever beaten then Id beat this, and it persisted.

    Now after a while, after I decided that I was going to learn to focus with noise - it seemed to get quieter. Not the it really did but it just seemed to. Then I noticed the person making all the noise started loosing interest in trying to make me loose my focus and finally he gave up. Id won, but I want to tell you something I used daily while using acceptance that I was going to win with patience and perseverance visualizing the whole time too that this would end.

    Its called a submodality in which you imagine the sounds are coming through a tv set. The old ones with antennas ya know or you can even use a newer one with the remote control.

    The objective is when you hear the noise and it passes or quitens then imagine hearing the voice or noice again through the tv with a volume knob. See the tv and look at the volume knob after you let the noise come through the tv- then just turn the knob volume from level 10 to 0 imagining that the sound is going down from a level 10 sound to no sound then wait 1 second and try to hear the noise again in your imagination- the sound should not be there after and do this several times like 5-7 times over and over till you dont hear the noice in your head anymore.

    This will usually take some patience and practice but its almost immediate how youll hear the noice subjectivly less and less. It was this tecnique and persistence that helped me win the battle of the noice and sensitivity and it works- you can do it.

    Bless You
    stayfit65 likes this.
  14. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yay, this is so awesome- thank you so much
    Your awesome
    stayfit65 likes this.
  15. stayfit65

    stayfit65 Peer Supporter

    Hey, I just wanted to tell everybody thank you again. Yesterday I had to work and afterwards went with the family shopping and to a movie. I noticed that after all the "nervous events" of Thursday, that yesterday my back pain was GREATLY reduced, almost non-existent...interesting, isn't it? :) I got up this morning feeling wonderful. Herbie, I like what you said about the TV noise. I am going to give that one a try.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.

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