Day 1 Im starting over with this - 30 day plan - Hip pain

[sdiddy]

I have other posts on here, but the short story is my hip pain started a couple years ago after i broke up with my GF. it was an amicable breakup, nothing toxic, but I think it may have affected me deeper than I realized because she was a great GF and I have never done well when im not in a relationship. I have some external validation and codependency issues im working on and im really only fulfilled and happy when in relationships.

After breaking up and going inward for months I realized I think I could build a life with her and told her but it was too late, she was dating someone else seriously. I trie to get her back but the timing was bad obviously. the pain got worse and worse. Tried dating other people but never found anyone like her or even kind and sweet like her. The pain got worse. I stopped playing basketball and other things like golf. sex hurt my hips even more. range became more and more limited and the range of motion to spread my legs is so severe that I can maybe open them 30 degrees while standing without pain.

Did an MRI, was told early arthritis, torn labrum, bursitis. All extremely stress inducing. the pain got worse. Did PRP injections in September. Felt no relief for a month and then started reading some TMS stuff in NOvember and my hip pain suddenly (and quite rapidly) went down. Went to japan and walked a TON and the pain came back.

Been doing PT since january and have still had a lot of pain. Hurts to move, sleep, turn, get in and out a car, sit in a chair, spread my legs at all. SOmetimes i get shooting pains in my TFL area or down the leg too. So here I am again. Making a promise to do this daily, all the exercises and try to check in with you guys. You are genuinely all I have in this journey. I appreciate you.

 

[Diana-M]

Hi @sdiddy
Welcome back! I can sure relate to the pain and limited movement. It can be so overwhelming and depressing! But as we know— Anyone who works on getting better from TMS can get better. So here you are back again! Good for you! Reading your story is actually really sad. I’m sorry that happened to you with your ex-girlfriend. What stood out to me the most from the story is how you said it was “ an amicable break up.” This is the kind of thing we always want to question in TMS land. Things that should hurt that we say didn’t hurt. Clearly, there’s a lot going on with this situation, and personally, I would explore the heck out of it with journaling. The kind of journaling we’re talking about is ugly, brutal, honest, even childlike journaling. and then after you explore all that (which might take many many rounds), try to find what in your childhood reminds you of this situation— because that’s what’s probably really driving the pain. Have you read any books by John Sarno? If not, I recommend you do that. Healing Back Pain is quick and easy (when reading, just replace back pain with the kind of pain you have)— it all applies. If you’re going to do the structured educational program (a free course here on the site) that will also help you a lot. I sure hope you feel better. And we are here for you!

 

[Cactusflower]

 

[sdiddy]

Hi @sdiddy
Welcome back! I can sure relate to the pain and limited movement. It can be so overwhelming and depressing! But as we know— Anyone who works on getting better from TMS can get better. So here you are back again! Good for you! Reading your story is actually really sad. I’m sorry that happened to you with your ex-girlfriend. What stood out to me the most from the story is how you said it was “ an amicable break up.” This is the kind of thing we always want to question in TMS land. Things that should hurt that we say didn’t hurt. Clearly, there’s a lot going on with this situation, and personally, I would explore the heck out of it with journaling. The kind of journaling we’re talking about is ugly, brutal, honest, even childlike journaling. and then after you explore all that (which might take many many rounds), try to find what in your childhood reminds you of this situation— because that’s what’s probably really driving the pain. Have you read any books by John Sarno? If not, I recommend you do that. Healing Back Pain is quick and easy (when reading, just replace back pain with the kind of pain you have)— it all applies. If you’re going to do the structured educational program (a free course here on the site) that will also help you a lot. I sure hope you feel better. And we are here for you!

thank you for the response and support. Yes, healing back pain began my journey into learning about the mind body connection. I am either going go read think away your pain or the mind body prescription next. regarding the breakup, i simply wasnt healed from my divorce and my GF wanted to know we were on a track to get married. I wasnt ready, we talked it out and I decided to "let her go" because if I couldnt give her what i wanted, i hoped someone else could. After we broke up I began to regret letting her go, and then of course by then it was too late. I have journaled and done therapy to death about it and really let it go (mostly) and forgave myself because I simply wasnt ready and truth is, she has some issues that made it very hard to be ready (she is a severe avoidant attachment style). there is more to the story but we dont need to delve into it. But I think just NOT being with someone, especially a good partner, is a major factor in me feelings invalidated, lonely, inadequate, fearful, and thus turns into body pain. Im working on it for years but its hard. I love relationships, i love feminine energy and partnership, and I never really got any praise or validation my entire life from my parents.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

@sdiddy, I want to make sure you pay attention to these two things that Diana is telling you.

try to find what in your childhood reminds you of this situation— because that’s what’s probably really driving the pain.

Your pain comes from the distant past. You can't move forward in the present until you get vulnerable with what is really holding you back.

If you’re going to do the structured educational program (a free course here on the site) that will also help you a lot.

 

[Diana-M]

I never really got any praise or validation my entire life from my parents.

There you go. That can do it. (I’m in your shoes, so believe me I’m coming from a place of totally understanding!)